job hunting

People actually said this stuff

/ Shane / 1 Comment

There was a great article listing things that people actually said during job interviews. They’re all pretty good, but I’ve listed some of my favorites:

What are your hobbies and interests?

“[He said] ‘Well, as you can see, I’m a young, virile man and I’m single — if you ladies know what I’m saying.’ Then he looked at one of the fair-haired board members and said, ‘I particularly like blondes.'”

Do you have any questions?

“If I get an offer, how long do I have before I have to take the drug test?”

Why are you leaving your current job?

“I was fired from my last job because they were forcing me to attend anger management classes.”

What are your weaknesses?

“I get angry easily and I went to jail for domestic violence. But I won’t get mad at you.”

“I am an alcoholic and do not deserve this job.”

“I’m really not a big learner. You know … some people love learning and are always picking up new things, but that’s just not me. I’d much rather work at a place where the job is pretty stagnant and doesn’t change a lot.”

Tell of a time you made a mistake and how you dealt with it

“I stole some equipment from my old job, and I had to pay for its replacement.”

Random Responses

“Wow — I’m not used to wearing dress shoes! My feet are killing me. Can I show you these bloody blisters?”

“May I have a cup of coffee? I think I may still be a little drunk from last night.”

Improv Everywhere

/ Shane / Leave a comment

You have to check out this comedy group.  Some of my favorite missions include Cell Phone Symphony, The Moebius, No Pants, Megastore, and Look Up More.

Sara got that job!  Also, my sister graduated from college on Saturday.  Congrats to both of them!

We went to NYC one last time over the weekend.  We saw the Wedding Singer (staring Stephen Lynch!) and Sweeny Todd.  They were both pretty good, Wedding Singer had a lot of good 80’s jokes and references and Sweeny Todd was very creepy and weird.  We tried to get tickets for the Tribeca Film Festival, but we didn’t get there in time.  We also ate a ton of good food, as usual.  I’m going to miss having that place so close!  I love New York, it would be really cool to live there.

Oh, for mother’s day I bought tickets to see Wicked in Chicago.  I’ve been trying to get my mom to see it forEVER!  She’s a huge Wizard of Oz fan (she even collects stuff from it) and I bought her Wicked the book last year for Christmas.  She could never get a trip planned to get out here to see it, so I got tickets when she’s already going to be in Chicago to help me move in.  I’m going to tell her next weekend on Mother’s Day.

The big news of the day is that I convinced Sara to let me buy tickets to a Packers game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I’ve never been to an honest-to-god pro game…I always end up going to pre-season games because they’re cheaper.  In particluar, I’ve never been to a game at Lambeau field.  The Packers play a pre-season game in Madison and also I’ve seen them here in Philly.  I’ve been to Lambeau before, but only before the season to watch a practice.  The game is Lions at Packers on December 17th.  I booked a hotel in Appleton for the night before, since the game starts at noon.  I bought 2 tickets, one for me and one for my dad for Christmas/birthday/other holidays to be named later.  It’s been my dream for a while to go with my dad to a game at Lambeau…even more so now that Favre decided to come back for another seaon.  This will be my last chance to see him play!  I even went all out and got 2 tickets to the official tailgating party at Brett Favre’s Steakhouse before the game.  All you can eat and drink for 3 hours before kickoff!

So the real question is, how am I going to keep a lid on a secret this big for months!  I could hardly keep from calling my dad minutes after I bought the tickets!

Airlines suck

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Sara’s interview went really well.  Aparently the guy opened with something like, “This is essentially just to see if you’ll take the job or not.  I’ve already decided.”

Okay, but that’s not the story I came here to write.  Sara’s flight was listed as “30% on time.”  I mean why bother even having a flight schedule if you can only make it 30 freaking percent of the time??

So I was supposed to pick her up at 11:15 but it got delayed several times and now it’s all the way back to 12:30.  Going to be a late night.  Also Sara has to go to work early tomorrow!  I would try to catch a nap, but by the time I fall asleep I’ll just have to get back up again, but then I’ll be all groggy.

Stupid American Airlines! >:-o

It’s done!

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Well I finally heard back from the job.  They did offer me more money!  So I finally proved that you should turn down the first offer!  However, I also proved that you should not get your hopes up because the amount of money more they offered me the second time was like 1% more than the first time…I don’t know if it was worth the stress of asking for more money!

The only question to settle now is do I want to start May 29th or June 5th.  I’d prefer the second date, but they wanted someone as soon as possible.  I’m waiting to hear back from them.

In other news, there is this fantastic game called Kingdom of Loathing.  It’s a simple online game, best explained by their “What is KoL?” page.  I used to have a  Pastamancer named “Felix the Al Dente” but I always secretly wanted to be a Disco Bandit.  Anyway, you should play this game and waste hours and hours of your free time.

But why do I bring this up now, especially since I don’t play anymore?  I bring it up because i was recently reminded of the game by a reference to it in an article on this sick puppy.  Basically he was just a regular guy, as demonstrated by this quote:

“Regarding a potential motive,” Purcell Police Chief David Tompkins said Saturday, “this appears to have been part of a plan to kidnap a person, rape them, torture them, kill them, cut off their head, drain the body of blood, rape the corpse, eat the corpse then dispose of the organs and bones.”

Oh, and also:

“He said one of his main interests was the online role-playing game “Kingdom of Loathing,” in which stick figures battle one another.”

So basically, what I’m saying is, you should really check out this game!  ALL the cool kids are doing it.

I am the biggest dumbass EVAR

/ Shane / 2 Comments

Holy crap, that’s all I can say.

Today I wrote a long long email to my friend John Keith about the problems I was having getting my 2 realtors to send me any properties to look at and how I wasn’t going to “fly all the way out there unless I had some properties to see.”  20 minutes later I get a reply to said email from my boss, John Kielty.  Notice the similarity of the two names.  My boss says, “Odd email.  Sounds like you need a new realtor. By “fly all the way out there” am I supposed to assume you’re looking to relocate?” Obviously I haven’t told anybody at work about looking for a new job.

So I had to go talk to him and tell him about it.  I guess everything went okay, I mean what was he going to do?  He understood wanting to relocate closer to family.  It was going to come out soon anyway, and as Sara pointed out now I don’t have to worry about how I’m going to tell him!  Still, I don’t think all the fretting in the world would be as bad as the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I read the response from him and realized I sent the email to the wrong person.

Also, this was at 9:30 in the morning, so needless to say, my day didn’t go very well.

In other news, I called the job and asked for more money.  That’s right, I handled it like a man!  Everybody says, “Don’t take the first offer, reject it for sure.  They expect you to.  They’ll respect you more.” but then you say, “Oh, did you reject your first offer?” and they say, “Oh, hell no, not me.  That’s crazy talk.”  So I went back and forth but eventually I did it!  So I’ll keep ya’ll posted on that.  If nothing else, maybe I can serve as a warning to all the idiots who say reject the first offer…