Taking apart my iPhone

I have an iPhone 5s. Also, I am cheap (the two things may be related).

When I get something, I like to use it until it is used up, and then use it a little more beyond that. I took my last car to 197,000 miles and was disappointed I didn’t make it to 200,000. I wouldn’t even had this 5s in the first place if I would have realized that my old 4s would have been fine after it dried out (my mugger threw it in a puddle where it was recovered by the police). I still HAVE that iPhone 4s come to think of it.

So needless to say, when my battery got to the point where it couldn’t hold a charge for an entire day, and I started spending a significant amount of my life anxiously looking for an open outlet, I didn’t go buy some fancy new phone.

Apple had been offering a special deal on battery replacement, but of course my phone was too old to qualify. $80 for a battery replacement? Not on this old phone! But, it turns out, you can get non-OEM batteries for only $20 if you’re willing to do the repair yourself. “I’m pretty handy,” I thought to myself, “especially when it comes to electrical stuff. How hard can it be?”

Let’s just say I’m glad I didn’t look at the instructions before I bought it, because I probably would have balked.

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Everything is tiny and delicate. A lot of the instructions are of the, “Pry this open with a crowbar BUT DO IT GENTLY OR YOU WILL RIP APART ALL THE CABLES AND YOUR PHONE WILL NEVER WORK AGAIN” variety.

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You really get an appreciation for how finely these things are engineered when you are working in there. There is absolutely no room to spare; everything is super tiny and just so. Each screw is subtly different and if you put them in the wrong place you will destroy your phone.

Obvs you need a super high tech sorting device to keep track of everything, and I did:

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Did I mention those screws are tiny?

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But, by going as slowly and carefully as I possibly could, I did finally get that battery out! The adhesive on the battery is the hardest part, but I knew that going in, so I was not deterred.

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So everything was going great up to this point! Got the battery in, got all those tiny screws back in, and then I thought, “You know, I should probably fire this puppy up before I finish putting it back together.

Uh oh.

The display had lines through it and I couldn’t get the touch screen working at all. I was SURE I had screwed something up (possibly literally). Luckily the instructions had mentioned something about lines in the display and that it had something to do with one of the connectors not being tight. Sure enough, I had a loose one. It’s pretty hard working on those tiny little connectors, but after a few tries I got it seated properly.

Voila! After only 1:45 I had a fully functioning phone again.

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In retrospect, even though there were some nerve wracking moments, it was kind of fun. It’s been a while since I had a project like that. So I would say, if you enjoy that kind of thing, go ahead and go for it; if not, it’s probably worth the money to have someone else do it for you.

And, hey, I have the tools now…

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Quote Monday tramples babies

Evie: “Can an iPhone call people too?” – Not as far as I can tell.

::Oliver buckling his baby into the high chair and lovingly feeding him::
::Blender starts::
Oliver: “Smoothie time! Smoothie time! Baby, get out!”
::Throws his baby on the floor::

Me: “Ugh, I hate dishes.”
Sara: “And yet, you still eat.”

::Oliver was sick::
Sara: “Oh Oliver, I hope this is your worst day.”
Evie, aghast: “Mama! Tell him to have a good day!”

And that’s when I knew…

We were at a school function for Evie, and the kids were singing some songs.

Suddenly an old man tottered to his feet, swaying slowly in front of them. He looked like he was not a day over 200. His back was hunched, his limbs were gnarled. His few remaining hairs were white and wiry, and the top of his head was bald and shiny, long since given way to age spots. He could manage only a shuffling step or two, and looked like he was about to topple.

I clutched Sara’s arm. Was he going to die? Did he lurch to his feet because he was having a heart attack? Would he fall and shatter into a million brittle pieces?

His arm slowly lifted, and you could almost hear the joints creaking beneath the sleeves of his worn suit. Ever so slowly, he extended the arm and…snapped a quick picture with his iPhone.

That’s when Sara and I realized, we truly were the last people on earth without a smart phone.

Blackberries

I just don’t get them.  I mean I can totally understand wanting to have the Internet on your person at all times, ala the iPhone.  Those things are awesome.  Looking up directions and menus and “who was the guy who was in that movie…” type questions whenever you want cannot be beat.  It is straight out of the future.

"Saaaam! Ziggy says you only have a 50% chance of winning in your Fantasy Football league! He also has movie times and directions for you."

But I don’t really understand the desire to be plugged into your work email all the time.  Unless you are a CEO or some sort of stock trader or something, I just can’t see what is so important that it can’t wait until you get back to work or back to your hotel or something.  I guess Blackberry has done a good job with marketing.  Very clearly iPhones are for hippies and Blackberries are for fancy-pants business people.

One of these guys uses a Blackberry

One of these guys uses a Blackberry

I guess that is what I don’t like about them; they are so pretentious.  Somehow when I see someone using an iPhone I know he is probably wasting time and I am okay with that.  When I see someone using a Blackberry, he is just wasting time too, but he is *pretending* that he is not.  Oh no, instead he is doing important business things because he is a very important business man, yesh he is!  If you were talking to someone and they got an email on their iPhone, they wouldn’t stop talking to you because of it.  But if they get an email on their Blackberry, then stop everything!  It could be someone demanding a business decision that could make billions of dollars for the company!  But come on, I know some of the people who carry Blackberries…someone probably sent them some lolcatz.

But the worst most pretentious part about them is receiving an email from them.  Down on the bottom it automatically inserts a little thing that says, “Sent via Blackberry”.  Now what is that all about?  It is just another way to let you know that the person with the Blackberry is so very, very important and busy.  They’re responding to you on the go!  They’re probably going from one multi-million dollar deal to the next!

Why would you care where I sent you an email from?  I don’t tell you when I’m emailing from my laptop as opposed to my desktop.  I could see if it was something really cool or important like, “Sent from the back of a Tyrannosaurus Rex” or something, but you know what?  In that case go ahead and include it in the text of the message.

So, that is why I will now be adding to all outgoing emails, “Sent by someone who is very hmm hmm hmm”.  That way I know that you know that I am extremely busy and important and the effort I had to put forth to send you the email was extreme.  I just hope it didn’t cost my company some billion dollar deal just to forward you a chain letter.