Parents worry about things that kids just don’t think about. “Am I making the right decisions for my child?” or “Am I raising this kid right?” Being a parent involves a lot of uncertainty. I don’t know if children pick up on this, and thus know the weak points to prod at, or if they just ask so many questions that some of them are bound to hit below the belt.
For example, one thing on my mind a lot is the fact that raising our kids in Chicago, they are having a much different childhood than Sara or I had. In particular, we yearn for some sort of yard where the kids could go out and play.
Evie: “This is silly, but for the house, for my birthday, I wanna ask for a yard.”
However, lately it seems like Evie has been going for the jugular. It really seems like she’s going out of the way to try to make us cry.
Evie: “When I die, I want to bring mommy with me.”
Evie: “When I die, I want to die close to the house. Can you make me die close to the house?”
Sara: “Why do you want to die close to the house?”
Evie: “So I can see you again”
Evie: “When I die, will you let me take Oliver with me?”
Cue daddy with a lone tear dripping from his giant cartoon eyes while his bottom lip starts quivering.
She hasn’t really had any personal experience with death yet, but I assume that thinking about death probably normal at her age. It’s not like she thinks about it all day, but it does come up probably every other day or so.
The thing is, you just never want to think about death in conjunction with your child. This seems pretty obvious, but I can definitely say that, although you might think you understand, its something that you can’t really know until you have a child. How absolutely terrifying it is. And also strange to think, “I guess that means my parents felt that way about me too.”
Well, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about these things, since Evie keeps bringing it up!