The Arte of the Tantrum

/ Shane / 2 Comments

Oh, the tantrums we’ve been witnessing lately. Full blown, purple, mottled face, choking on the anger type tantrums. There are a lot of things about parenting that make you think about your own parents and what they went through, but with the tantrums lately I’ve really been thinking, “I did that to my parents?” It’s pretty brutal.

So I asked Evie if she had any advice for the other toddlers out there who read my blog and she came up with a couple of hard and fast rules for tantruming:

  1. The Tantrum Shall Be Out of Proportion – It is a must to pick something really small and trivial to go off over, such as not getting the correct flavor yogurt, or daddy getting you the stuffed animal you want instead of mommy.
  2. The Tantrum Shall Be Capricious – To keep them guessing, make sure you have tantrums arbitrarily; something that is okay one day should set you off the next. Pick something that seems innocuous, like “that is a nice dress.” That is what I chose to go off on this morning. This is important because you don’t want to become predictable.
  3. The Tantrum Shall Be Sustainable – Make sure you keep that puppy going for as long as possible. This usually means switching from one topic to the next as they come up. For example, you might want to start off complaining about the color of your spoon, but when someone tries to get you a new spoon, this is an opportunity to switch over to tantruming about which person got the spoon for you. Using this technique, you can keep a tantrum going for over an hour, easily.
  4. The Tantrum Shall Be Total War – Make sure to hit them where it hurts. Total war is not all kicking and biting; sometimes you should go for the psychological warfare. One good technique is to offer to do things they have wanted you to do in the past, such as getting dressed or going to the potty. These will really hurt because you know these items are important to them. Of course if they do try to take you up on your offer you don’t actually have to do it. This can actually play nicely into point 3. Also, if possible, make sure other people are around as this will embarrass everyone.
  5. The Tantrum Shall Be Victorious – If you absolutely must end a tantrum, never go out on their terms. Always make sure to get some kind of concession. For example, if you realize that they are going to out-wait you and you are eventually going to have to brush your teeth, at least make sure the brushing takes place at a location of your choosing.

Hand, Foot and Mouth

/ Shane / 3 Comments

Some friends came to visit over the weekend and, unfortunately, Evie wasn’t feeling very well. On Sunday, Evie woke up at 4:15 (Happy Father’s day!) and proceeded to have an absolute fit until maybe 6. It was a doozy and I was very embarrassed to have her behaving as such with company over. It’s one thing for us to wake up at 4:15, but quite another for the entire building to wake up then.

We soon realized she was sick with a cough, a runny nose and a slight fever. She’s pretty much always sick though, so we decided to proceed with our plans anyway. We hit up the Pirate Exhibit at the Field Museum…so maybe it was a successful Father’s Day after all! She had a good time at the museum, but on the way home she was clearly exhausted.

Sara had noticed that she had a rash on her hands and was a little suspicious, but later when Evie fell asleep and Sara took off her socks and shoes to get her into bed easier without waking her up, she confirmed her suspicions when she saw a rash on Evie’s feet. It was not surprising, therefore, when we noticed some sores on Evie’s tongue: she had hand, foot and mouth disease. I will save you from seeing some of the awful results that show up in an image search, but if you’re a glutton for punishment it is quite disgusting.

We confirmed with the doctor that there is really nothing we can do except ride out the virus. Our friends wisely ducked out once it became obvious that “irritability” and “tiredness” (which are more or less the same thing) were actual side effects, not just the idle threats.

So we had a couple of rough days, although she seems like she is on the mend now. She can’t bring her plague to daycare this week, so her grandparents are staying with her.

I feel really bad for her because she was probably as miserable as she has ever been in her short life. One of the things we did to help her feel better was allow her to watch a movie. Now keep in mind this is only the second time we’ve ever let her watch T.V. The first was an Elmo potty video. And you can tell she doesn’t see much T.V. because when the movie started and Tinkerbell came out and painted the Disney logo, Evie said, “That was great!” and jumped down from her seat and made to leave.

The height of movie technology

The height of movie technology

She enjoyed the movie, especially the songs, but she got bored before the end. One of the best parts for me is when she went over to our cat and said, “Nala, I’m watching a movie about you. You’re big now.”

(Note to grandparents, this does not mean she’s allowed to watch T.V. whenever!:) )

Another funny thing that happened this weekend, obviously we were taking her temperature a lot due to her illness and, as usual, she replicates what she sees. Therefore there was a very awkward moment for both Sara and I independently when she pretended to take our temperature…let’s just say we don’t take her temperature orally.

In completely other news, the other night I had a dream that I was in Wisconsin and I got a fine for not having a moustache.

Is this too whiny?

/ Shane / Leave a comment

In 6 days I have written exactly 3 words. 3. If my word count goes any lower I will have to start counting it in characters per day rather than words.

In case you’re wondering, those 3 immortal words are, “Ari’s knife carved”

Bacon Bits

/ Shane / 1 Comment

What happens when you combine two great things, space invaders and bacon? You get a fantastic shirt from WOOT.com.

My favorite part was:

“I’m gonna wait for the bacon to steal my guy and then rescue him back and then I’ll have two guys at once to shoot at the… wait, then I’ll have to share my bacon.”

I was always torn if I should get my guy get captured (which seems like a failure of some sort) vs. the power of having two guys at once.

Anyway, hurry up and order, I believe you only have until the end of the day!

I’m glad everyone is thinking of me, since I received this link from Meg, Tony, and Jackie (congrats on engagement btw!)

Check back tomorrow for the regular Monday Evie update…there are things a foot! (that’s a pun, but you won’t get it until tomorrow)

SModcast

/ Shane / 1 Comment

I forget how I stumbled on this, but one of my favorite directors Kevin Smith has as podcast which goes by the name of SModcast. The name is derived from the names of the two hosts, Kevin Smith and his long time producer Scott Mosier. It is so funny that I have burst out laughing many times to the odd looks of my co-workers.

If you like Kevin Smith, and especially if you liked his “Evening With” series, I would most heartily recommend it. If, on the other hand, you have even the slightest chance to be offended, then I would most heartily NOT recommend it. In fact, I will let their own disclaimer speak for itself:

SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

If you do have nerves of steel, you might start with the following episodes:

  1. Episode 29, Harry Scotter
  2. Episode 52, in which a discussion of great length explores what kind of powers you could get from Satan in order to fight Jesus (answer: not a whole lot)
  3. Episode 10, I think this is the one where they discuss the secret lives of chickens

There is also a great one about the awful things that happened when Kevin’s wiener dog Shecky went into heat, but I couldn’t remember which episode that was.

I think the best episodes are those with Mosier, which are about half the episodes. If Scott can’t be there, fill in host Walt Flannagan is the next best.