Evie: “Put the candles on the cake!”
Sara: “She’s 59. I can’t put that many candles on the cake, it would be like lighting the whole cake on fire.”
Evie, to Grandma Kathy: “Someday you’ll be old and then you’ll just want to sit around too.” – this was in reference to Ron
Evie: “Grandma, I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean that, but mommy said to say it.”
Evie: “I’ve got candy.”
Grandpa: “Are you supposed to have that?”
Evie: “My mommy’s raising me, not you.”
The name sort of says it all: Ugly Renaissance Babies. You really have to wonder what some of the people were thinking when they painted them. How could they look at the painting and say, “Yeah, that looks pretty good! Done!” In particular, these people showed a disturbing lack of understanding of anatomy (particularly where breasts are concerned).
Anyway, I highly advise a look through the gallery. I guarantee you’ll laugh out loud. But in the meantime, here’s a little taste to whet your appetite (captions via the site):
Link via Greg, by way of Sara who was dying laughing over these
Sara and I have suspected that we could save a lot of money on our cell phones for a long time. Basically, we just had Verizon since time began, and we never really looked around or anything. We are also pretty minimal cell phone users as these things go (super old phones, don’t use a ton of minutes, no texting, no web, no nothing), so we sort of figured we might be getting ripped off. At the very least, we knew we could get a small discount through our jobs, so at the very least we could be saving 10% – 15% or so, but we thought maybe we could do better with a pre-paid phone or a smaller carrier, like Cricket. But we were lazy, so we never got around to doing anything about it.
However, the other day, Sara was going through her consumer reports and found that they had rated actual cell phone companies, and the top of the list was a company we had never heard of before, Consumer Cellular. We decided to check them out, and they turned out to be phenomenal. So we officially made the switch, and we are no longer Verizon customers.
Consumer Cellular is saving us about THIRTY DOLLARS PER MONTH. That’s $360 a year we will save, by basically just paying for what we actually use on the phone. In fact, that price includes a texting plan, which we never had before, so we actually have more functionality. And another thing about Consumer Cellular: you can change your plan retroactively for the month. So, if at the end of the month you find that you used more minutes than your plan allows, you don’t pay ridiculous per-minute charges on the extra minutes, you just adjust your plan to the next one up. More amazingly, if you find you didn’t use all your minutes, you can adjust your plan down to a lower plan and pay the lower rate. When have you ever heard such a thing from a cell phone company??
There is one funny thing about the company…it’s for old people! (This is why Sara and I fit right in.) You never really realize how advertising pictures are exclusively young people, until you get a brochure full of pictures of old people. This should have been the first sign. Then there’s the fact that they offer a “large button” phone, and the fact that their FAQ page specifically talks about how to use the phone on a cruise ship. There’s a checkbox for the AARP discount when you order. Even as you’re reading through the text on the webpage, you feel like it is meant for old people.
Shane: “Wow, this really is for old people. Everything is just spelled out so clearly, so there can be no confusion.”
Sara: “Yeah, but why is that for old people? Shouldn’t everything be like that?”
The fact is, it should be, but it’s not. Most cell phone plans are byzantine at best, with times when calls are free and times when they aren’t. Roaming. Overage charges. Contracts. Service fees. Early termination fees. Can you imagine a company that’s actually laying everything on the table, just trying to make an honest buck instead of trying to trick you somehow?
There are a few downsides, but they don’t really matter to us personally. So one would have to decide if this place is right for them or not. First off, they have a very limited phone selection. The free phones that Sara and I got are probably a step backwards from the very old phones that we used to have (except that this one is smaller, lighter, and the battery lasts longer than my old phone, so I guess it’s not all bad). So if you’re into the latest smart phone, they’re probably not for you. (They do have a few other choices, including smart phones, but nothing like what you’d get with a Verizon. I also understand you can use any AT&T phone on their network, and I’ve heard of at least one person using an iPhone.) They don’t have an unlimited data plan, which doesn’t matter to us, because we don’t have smart phones. There is no free nights and weekends or mobile to mobile minutes. However, the plans are cheap enough and we don’t use so many minutes, that we can still pay a lot less even paying for these extra minutes (I guess there’s a reason even the big companies offer them for free). Consumer Cellular is on the AT&T network, which might be a plus or a minus, depending on how you look at it (and how much you like the AT&T network).
So, Consumer Cellular. Check it out. We kept our old phone number, and the transition was hassle free. If you’re going to sign up, let me know: I can get us each a $10 credit as a referral fee!
We are hardened cloth diaper veterans, after using them through two children. Not only is it easier on the second child, but you’re getting a bigger benefit, since your up-front cost is now amortized over a longer period. I firmly believe in cloth diapers, and I couldn’t really see a reason why we would stop using them, until it turned out we had no choice.
Ollie’s skin trouble just makes it impossible. Even in disposables he has horrible, bleeding diaper rash pretty much all the time. With the cloth diapers there’s just nothing you can do. No matter how often you change him, his skin is just too easily irritated, and it gets bad, fast.
We went through a really bad period of worse than usual diaper rash and reoccurring yeast infections that spread to cover his entire diaper area, to where it looked like he was wearing a diaper cover even when he wasn’t. We would temporarily switch to disposables until we could get it under control, but every time we would switch back to cloth, it would flare up immediately. (Yes, we took steps to kill the yeast from the cloth diapers, repeatedly) The dermatologist made it pretty clear that she was anti-cloth diapers, due to the moisture factor. Ultimately, we just felt like the poor guy has enough to deal with regarding being covered with eczema, and it wasn’t fair to put him through this with diaper rash as well. So we switched to disposables full time.
I’m sad to have to use disposables, but at the same time, I feel like we need to balance what’s right for him with what’s right for the Earth. Still, it really kills me when I have to change a diaper that was hardly used. I just think about how long that thing is going to sit in a landfill somewhere, and for what? Nothing highlights how unnatural these things are more than seeing the amazing way they can absorb liquid and yet feel totally dry. In terms of sheer amazingness, it has to be one of our highest achievements as a species. On the other hand, it couldn’t be less natural. It’s like alien technology or something. When you hold it in your hand, you can just tell there is not one thing that is biodegradable in there. And you generate quite a few of these things.
Oh well. We *almost* made it through two kids with cloth diapers. That’s certainly a lot better than none.
Ah, that magical time in every young child’s life, when he finally learns the power of the word “No!”
Everything is no these days, even things Ollie actually wants to do. Sometimes he will be saying, “No! No!” even as he rushes to do whatever it is. It’s the age of the classic reverse psychology trick, where the only way to guarantee he’ll do something is to tell him not to do it (this, of course, precedes the age where the only way to guarantee a kid will do something is to bribe him).
And it’s not just saying no either, it’s just a general sense of mischief. He’ll look at you with a twinkle in his eye just as he pushes everything off the kitchen table, or run away from you laughing as soon as you say, “Let’s get your coat on!” Sometimes he just likes to see how fast he can take all the books off the shelf.
I oh-so-fondly remember Evie at this age. I guess that makes it a little easier this time around, since I knew to expect it, and I know it will end eventually. Therefore, it’s more funny than anything, not really annoying. I also remember when Evie would just get so mad that it went beyond anger and right into a textbook demonic possession. Oliver has been pulling that one too a time or two, particularly in conjunction with diaper changes.
Ollie: “YAAAARGH!! BLAAAG! AUUUGH!”
Me: “We’re going to need a young priest and an old priest.”
It’s like he’s hit with a wave of anger that’s just so big and so intense that it overloads his tiny little circuits. After that, he’s just furious about everything. I was whispering “shhh, shhh” in his ear and he was screaming, “NO SHHH! NO SHHH!”
I think it’s all a part of the same developmental milestone of just sort of becoming a little more self-aware. The first part is becoming aware that he has power: the power to say no, the power to not do what you want him to, the power to be disruptive, the power to cause trouble. The second part is being aware that he has ideas about how things should go, and being frustrated when things don’t go his way. And then not being old enough to be able to handle that emotion and calm himself down.
Anyway, luckily when kids go through this stage, they’re still pretty small and easily handled. Otherwise we’d really be in trouble! And it still seems like it’s easier to deal with than a 4 year old. I guess the second kid gives you a little bit of perspective.
Shane Halbach 