Problem Solved?

/ Shane / Leave a comment

For a long time now, Evie has been scared of the basement, particularly of all the monsters that live down there. It seemed somewhat justified; there are scary basement monsters down there! Just kidding, but I bet it was a little frightening to be 3 years old in the basement, all by her lonesome. Not to mention it was sometimes a pain if she woke up in the night to have to go all the way down there. The one nice thing about her being afraid of everything was that, if you put her in her room for relaxing time, she stayed there! Sometimes she would make a break for it, grabbing the largest stuffed animal she could find and sprinting upstairs (and hopefully the gate wasn’t closed when she got to the top of the stairs!), but mostly she stayed put. The whole thing seemed to get worse and worse as time went on, until it got to the point that she would hardly leave the room we were in. She wouldn’t even go to the bathroom next to the kitchen if we were in the kitchen and the door was open, and I maintained eye contact the entire time. Too many monsters.

All of a sudden, the situation reversed itself, without us doing anything. In fact, with us specifically doing nothing: we didn’t want to push the issue and force her, because we sensed that would make it worse. So we literally did nothing. In retrospect, the first signs were that she would sometimes coax Oliver to go into other rooms with her. He couldn’t care less, so he was happy to take her in other rooms, downstairs, etc. But then one day she just decided that it was okay to go in other rooms. Suddenly, she will happily go downstairs by herself to look for a toy she wants, or get an article of clothing. I try to show no reaction, but internally I am always stunned. In fact, she has even started going to the bathroom by herself in the middle of the night. Sometimes we don’t even know she did until she tells us in the morning.

Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely thrilled with the turn of events. It could be very frustrating sometimes when you asked her to do something (get something for you, go to the bathroom by herself, help you in any way) and she declined because she was “scared”. But I really have no idea what could have changed her mind. I can’t think of a single thing that changed, other than just being older. I guess that’s what it took, I don’t know.

Now if we could only get her to stop answering for Oliver before he gets a chance to speak…

Quote Monday gets stranger and stranger

/ Shane / Leave a comment

::Oliver splashed himself in the bath and was trying to rub his eyes with his dripping wet hand::
Sara: “Oliver, don’t use your hand, that’s not going to work very well!”
::Oliver starts rubbing his eyes with his toes::

::Pointing at a picture::
Me: “What’s that?”
Oliver: “A horse! No! No… A zebra!”

::Oliver takes the cap off a pen::
::I give him a sharp look::
Oliver: “Mischief, mischief!”

Evie: “At school we were talking about what if our mommies died, and I could go to school like this.”
Sara: “Like what?”
Evie: “With no clothes on. And also I could pee on the floor.”
Me: “So, your mommy being alive is the only thing that keeps you from peeing on the floor and going to school with clothes on?”
Evie: “Yeah. And then [a classmate] joined in, and she could dye her hair purple if her mommy died.”

Ice Skating Update

/ Shane / 2 Comments

Finally got my ice skates sharpened and gave them a try. They worked great, but I have a blister on my big toe. We rented Evie one size bigger of ice skates and they seemed to fit much better. They were single blades, they don’t have double blades in that size, but she didn’t seem to mind. In fact, I don’t know if it was because of the different skates or not, but she did fantastic! She was only holding on to my hand with one hand and I think 3 different times we went all the way around without her falling down. She was in a great mood and really enjoyed skating the whole time, even laughing when she fell down. She didn’t want to leave. Too bad next weekend is the last weekend before it closes for the season!

Least Helpful

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Certainly, it is very helpful to look at reviews before buying something. Sometimes reviews are useful, and sometimes they’re not. A lot of sites even let you mark if a review is helpful or not. But what about the *least* helpful reviews?

I’ve certainly encountered very unhelpful reviews. For example, you’re looking for information on a product, and someone gives it a one star rating because of the return policy of the company. Not helpful. Well, someone bothered to aggregate all of these unhelpful reviews into one location. Marvel in the stupidity.

For example, the guy who used Rit Dye to dye his hair:

I guess, to some people, that might actually be a helpful review. How about this one?

Maybe it’s just children’s literature in general?

I’ve read both of these books to my kids. What a bad parent I am! I wish I would have read the reviews first!

Oh well, at least they’re not part of the liberal conspiracy, like Holiday Inn.

Link via Eliza.

Delta Force

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Sometimes, when you’re out and about, you see one lone plow pushing snow through the night. Old retired Bob, who packs a thermos of coffee in the dark and patrols the back roads, making sure the rest of us can get to work in the morning. I bet he wears a flannel shirt to stay warm and says things like, “You alright ma’am? Some weather we’re having tonight,” when he helps a stranger out of a ditch. Normally, plowing is a pretty solitary profession.

But every once in awhile, you see the four staggered plows cruisin’ Lake Shore Drive in formation like a bunch of fighter pilots and you’re like, “Oh shit, it’s the Delta Force!” These aren’t your average snowplow men. They mean business; perfect form, plow blades set at the perfect angle so they don’t miss so much as a flake.

::psssssht:: “Red Leader, this is Wing Man Omega. I’ve got a pothole on my niner.”
::psssssht:: “Copy that Omega. Engage evasive maneuvers.”

I can’t help but hear Flight of the Valkyries in my head. I bet they wear sunglasses at night and train for years in a secret federal snowplow training academy. I heard in order to get a spot on the Delta Force, you have to kill the snowplow man you’re going to replace in unarmed combat.

I wish I had a video to show you of these guys. It makes you want to put your hand over your heart.