Poison Ivy – An Education

/ Shane / 5 Comments

I am very allergic to poison ivy. I have had it so often, multiple times per summer when I was growing up, and bad enough to need medicine several times. Once, I had poison ivy (I’m guessing) on my face so bad that my eyes swelled shut. I think I can confidently say that I have as much reason to hate poison ivy as anybody on this earth.

And yet, I can’t identify it.

You’d think that I would have this burned into my brain, since it’s almost a matter of survival with me. I have been shown a million times what it looks like, and yet I couldn’t tell you what it looks like, or point to it if I saw it. I would swear to you that I have been shown different things by different people.  The only thing I can tell you is, “Leaves of three, leave it be!” So that narrows it down to about everything in the forest.

And this is just for poison ivy! What about the more exotic things, like poison oak or poison sumac? Well, here’s a little something that will blow your mind: the other day I discovered that poison ivy is the same thing as poison oak. They’re different kinds of poison ivy that grow in different parts of the U.S.

So after eyeing every plant at The Haven suspiciously, I decided to sit down and finally figure this out. Nobody has gotten poison ivy there yet, but for all I know the entire thing is infested with this terrible scourge. So here, without further ado, is an actual picture of what these things look like:

Except it’s not. Because the more you look into it, it turns out that there are hundreds and hundreds of variations on what they look like. So it turns out that everybody’s right, because each instance of the plant looks totally different from all the others. It looks like everything: it’s a shrub, it’s a vine, basically it’s just a leaf. The only thing you can depend on is that it’s green (except when it’s red). So that narrows it down.

So guess what? Even after all my research, I’m *still* never going to be able to identify it. However, my research did manage to make me even more frightened of the stuff. According to the CDC, “When exposed to 50 micrograms of urushiol [the substance produced by these plants], an amount that is less than one grain of table salt, 80 to 90 percent of adults will develop a rash. ” And this article provided me with the frightening sentence, “Using a chain saw to cut down such a tree produces flying poisonous sawdust”. Flying poisonous sawdust! Lovely.

Did I mention how allergic to this stuff I am? I’m getting itchy just writing this.

The Terrible Twos

/ Shane / 1 Comment

Oh boy. It’s that time.

Oliver is in the midst of the most typical terrible twos there ever was. Although I know that the ability to throw down a tantrum and the desire to do exactly the opposite of what you’re told with a twinkle in his eye are normal for this age, it doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I would say he is both better and worse than Evie (I was complaining about 15 minute crying fits? Ha!). On one hand, his personality is generally more easy going, and sometimes (very, very occasionally) you can derail him a little bit with distraction, because he’s not as single minded and determinedly furious as she was. (You would laugh at that last sentence if you could see how determinedly furious he has been at least once a day for the past few weeks.) He doesn’t seem to be *quite* as opinionated as Evie is about things. Okay, well, I will say this, at least he has never peed himself in anger just to spite me.

On the other hand, when Evie got really mad, she would always throw up. So it couldn’t go on that long; it had a built in time limit. Oliver can go on, and on, and on, and on no matter how many times you think, “He absolutely cannot keep up this level of anger for long.” Twice now he has kept me up for a solid hour in the middle of the night (believe me, I checked the time), shrieking, crying, sweating, kicking the ground, the whole nine, because I dared to change his dirty diaper. At one point I stopped trying to calm him down and just read a book. He never paused or even slowed down for a second. An hour is a long time to expend that much energy. I know I couldn’t manage it!

(Totally off topic here, by why is WordPress recommending that I tag this post Mitt Romney??? Draw your own conclusions on that one folks, I guess we know which way WordPress leans.)

Although most of the time his typical two year old behavior is frustrating (especially when it involves biting, hitting and kicking, and when it takes three times as long to get out the door), sometimes you can’t help but laugh. It’s just so funny to see someone totally Hulk out over something so trivial, like he would destroy the world with his anger over the fact that you put his dinner plate *there* instead of *right there* where it clearly belongs.

He’s normally such a sweetheart that this new thing is just so incongruous with his usual behavior. It’s really surprising, and then again it’s not. Having gone through this once already, it’s eerie how similar it is to when Evie was a two year old. As with a lot of things with raising Ollie, it’s easier to bear knowing that it’s totally normal, and it’s just a phase that will pass.

Although it’s never easy, parenting is a lot easier the second time around.

Quote Monday talks in private

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Me: “How old is she?”
Evie: “Oh, she’s in her early threes.”

Evie: “Mama, can you make me a shawl?”
Sara: “Why don’t you put that on your birthday list?”
Evie, instantly sobbing: “But I don’t want a shawl bought from a store, I want one that’s homemade!”

This was so sweet!

Evie: “So, can I, can I?”
Sara: “I will have to talk about that with daddy.”
::Evie waiting expectantly::
Sara: “In private.”
Evie, nodding knowingly:  “So Oliver won’t hear.”

::Me playing Oliver’s kazoo::
::Oliver takes me aside and puts a hand on my shoulder::
Oliver, very seriously: “I asked you not to touch it.”

Shite Food

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In the complete opposite of yesterday’s post, I’d like to introduce you to Shite Food.

This is such a great idea for a blog. Basically, he tries all the worst food the supermarket has to offer so you don’t have to. He’s a connoisseur of the unsavory, and practically a hero if you want my opinion.

Kind of like my “10 things I used to eat that disgust me” post, except if I was still eating it today. And then if I didn’t stop at 10, but continued to keep finding things that disgust me and eat them, in fact seeking out the most disgusting things I could find.

The only downside is that the site is British (if you couldn’t tell by the title), so they have weird things that aren’t available here in the U.S. A quick survey seems to indicate their shite food is much worse than our shite food (well, it’s British, so to be fair nobody’s exactly arguing that good food is their strong suite).

In particular, I would like to call out a product called “Mr. Brain’s Pork Faggots“. People in the U.K. eat something called Mr. Brain’s Pork Faggots. Enough people, that they mass produce them and stock shelves in a super market with them. This is not a joke.

(In case you’re wondering, it’s probably worse than you think:  “A faggot is traditionally made from pig’s heart, liver and fatty belly meat or bacon minced together, with herbs added for flavouring and sometimes bread crumbs”)

So if you actually want to try some of this stuff out (because you hate yourself and want to die?), you’re probably going to be out of luck. However, it’s much better to read about someone else’s trials and tribulations, rather than experience them yourself.

B’Gabs Goodies

/ Shane / 1 Comment

This is a post that is long, long overdue.

Down the block from our house is a wonderful place known as B’Gabs Goodies.

Gab’s is not just vegetarian, but is in fact a “Raw Vegan Deli” with the tagline “It’s not the food in your life it’s the life in your food”. In addition to serving up raw vegan food, they also sell spices, and some really fantastic smoothies.

(I don’t have any pictures of Gab’s, but you can see many good ones over at WTF Vegan Food) (That’s WTF as in “Will Travel For” Vegan Food, not WTF as in what non-vegans say when looking at vegan food)

More important than the food selection though, is the people who work there. I can’t stress this enough. It’s family run (including a brand new co-owner, baby Hudson), and they make you feel like you are part of the family. Evie is like the Norm of B’Gabs, where everybody knows her name and they’re always glad she came. We try to make it there pretty often, because we’d hate to see it go the way of the previous tenant in that space, the Backstory Cafe.

But you don’t have to take my word for it, there are plenty of glowing reviews on Yelp, including one by Sara:

I saw this was up on Groupon today, so I was motivated to finally sign up and write a post.

B’Gabs Goodies is a smoothie/raw vegan restaurant (small) and spice and herb store (very large selection) just a block away from us in Woodlawn (just south of Hyde Park and the University of Chicago).  Gab, Ron, Marley, and James are so sweet and we make it a point to try to stop in weekly, as we were very sad to see the last business in this location close due to financial concerns.

So, the smoothies are fantastic (just ask my kids who like all sorts of combinations and especially love them with carrot juice) and the herb selection is great–I have bought oregano (excellent price and tastes great), cinnamon sticks (also an excellent price and I’m looking forward to using them), and chia (a little on the steep side compared to online/Costco/etc. but I highly doubt any stores within the next 5 miles carry it).

They also have a booth at the weekly farmers market on Saturdays at E 61st St and S Dorchester!

(Oh, and if you’re having trouble finding it, go to E 61st St and S Dorchester and walk east along 61st.  Turn right at the end of the street.  Yes, it seems like you are in an alley, but the correct door is the first place on your right.  You will enter in the restaurant area, then the door to the store is to the left.)

(It should also be noted that, after Sara’s review, they adjusted the price of chia)

So we’ve been going there since forever, why am I just getting around to writing this now? Well, because I finally sat down and had a meal there, and it was excellent.

Mostly, Sara and the kids go without me, and mostly they just get smoothies with the occasional dessert. However, B’Gabs recently extended their hours for summer, so we decided to check it out for dinner one night.

Now, like a lot of people, I’m not really that familiar with raw food options. However, they understand that, so Gab’s is a “judge free zone”. They know that eating raw is new to most people, so they’re happy to help or answer questions. You don’t have to feel embarrassed if you’re not sure about something. They’re excited about healthful food, and happy to talk about it. They’re happy you’re there, willing to try it out.

So for me, I went into it for the experience, like I would any new type of food. I’m always up for trying something different. I had a burger (which was of course not a burger), which also came with an absolutely wonderful salad and a side. I chose kimchi. Everything was different, interesting, and yummy. I am neither a vegetarian, nor vegan, nor a raw foodist, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. So if you do happen to be some or all of those things, then I guess this place would probably be heaven.

I don’t know if you can find better raw vegan food in the city. Certainly, *I* couldn’t find better. But I do for sure know that you can’t find friendlier owners than Gab and Ron.

And tell ‘um Evie and Ollie sent you.