My So Called Life

Behold the power of the Internet

/ Shane / 2 Comments

Long time friend, sometime commenter, and fellow blogger InteractiveReader recently managed to bring the Scholastic publishing company to it’s knees (kind of)(okay not really, but still). Allow me to explain.

On Thursday, Jackie put up a blog post about a Scholastic series, “How to Survive Anything”. One of the books is subtitled “Boys Only”, and the other is entitled “Girls Only”. Based on the table of contents, see if you can figure out which one is which.

Option 1:

  1. How to Survive a shark attack
  2. How to Survive in a Forest
  3. How to Survive Frostbite
  4. How to Survive a Plane Crash
  5. How to Survive in the Desert
  6. How to Survive a Polar Bear Attack
  7. How to Survive a Flash Flood
  8. How to Survive a Broken Leg
  9. How to Survive an Earthquake
  10. How to Survive a Forest Fire
  11. How to Survive in a Whiteout
  12. How to Survive a Zombie Invasion
  13. How to Survive a Snakebite
  14. How to Survive if Your Parachute Fails
  15. How to Survive a Croc Attack
  16. How to Survive a Lightning Strike
  17. How to Survive a T-Rex
  18. How to Survive Whitewater Rapids
  19. How to Survive a Sinking Ship
  20. How to Survive a Vampire Attack
  21. How to Survive an Avalanche
  22. How to Survive a Tornado
  23. How to Survive Quicksand
  24. How to Survive a Fall
  25. How to Survive a Swarm of Bees
  26. How to Survive in Space

Option 2:

  1. How to survive a BFF Fight
  2. How to Survive Soccer Tryouts
  3. How to Survive a Breakout
  4. How to Show You’re Sorry
  5. How to Have the Best Sleepover Ever
  6. How to Take the Perfect School Photo
  7. How to Survive Brothers
  8. Scary Survival Dos and Don’ts
  9. How to Handle Becoming Rich
  10. How to Keep Stuff Secret
  11. How to Survive Tests
  12. How to Survive Shyness
  13. How to Handle Sudden Stardom
  14. More Stardom Survival Tips
  15. How to Survive a Camping Trip
  16. How to Survive a Fashion Disaster
  17. How to Teach Your Cat to Sit
  18. How to Turn a No Into a Yes
  19. Top Tips for Speechmaking
  20. How to Survive Embarrassment
  21. How to Be a Mind Reader
  22. How to Survive a Crush
  23. Seaside Survival
  24. How to Soothe Sunburn
  25. How to Pick Perfect Sunglasses
  26. Surviving a Zombie Attack
  27. How to Spot a Frenemy
  28. Brilliant Boredom Busters
  29. How to Survive Truth or Dare
  30. How to Beat Bullies
  31. How to be an Amazing Babysitter

Something tells me you probably figured it out.

So Jackie’s post was more or less just a copy and paste of the respective tables of contents with the title “Sexist Much?”. Of course, a quick glance at the respective tables of contents was all it really took, and the while thing went viral pretty quickly (speaking for myself, I hit the share button almost as soon as I was done reading), anywhere from Ryan North to BuzzFeed to Jezebel.

As Jackie reports, Scholastic was already (kinda sorta) back peddling by Friday, promising “no further copies will be made available” (whatever that means, since the books are still available for purchase from the Scholastic web page, even with the “Show only books available for purchase” checkbox checked).

How awesome is it that a blogger can throw up a quick post on Thursday (a blogger I know!), and a major publisher can announce they will cease distribution on that book series 24 hours later? How not awesome is it that Scholastic needed the Internet to point out how ridiculously sexist these books were? How did those books ever get past editing and marketing at Scholastic in the first place? Scholastic of all people! Were these books in the book order forms kids bring home from school?

Stupid mistake, Scholastic. I hope this one stings a little. (Or maybe not since their “apology” is insincere at best, and a downright lie at worst, given that they are still selling the books)

Fort Wayne, a rapper’s delight

/ Shane / 5 Comments

Fort Wayne does not have a very good track record lately, being named one of the dumbest, fattest, and most artery clogged, cities in the United States, to say nothing of the infamous “Harry Baals” incident. However, there are some in the city who feel like perhaps they haven’t been portrayed fairly, or at least that being dumb, fat, and unhealthy aren’t all the city has to offer. For instance, there’s also rap.

I am reluctant to admit, it’s not actually that bad. Believe me, I was all set to hate on it.

I don’t know if it made me feel civic pride, per say, but it wasn’t as ridiculous, cheesy, and laughable as most of these things tend to be (I will refer you to “We Built Sioux City“). The music wasn’t even half bad.

My only problem is that I don’t recognize most of the “recognizable” places of Fort Wayne. Maybe I’m not the foremost expert on Fort Wayne, or maybe Fort Wayne just isn’t really that recognizable. I do appreciate the Tin Caps apparel and stadium, the downtown rooftop shots, and Coney Island, but the rest of the neighborhoods in the video just kind of look like neighborhoods. Granted, it has been a long time since I lived in Fort Wayne, but I was expecting something more iconic.

Hmm, what are the iconic places of Fort Wayne though? You have the fort, of course,

 and the Roller Dome,

maybe the zoo? But I guess none of that stuff is going to play very well in a rap video. I still think there are a few things that are maybe a little more urban, but would make a good background.

The “Endless Bread” sign,

Cindy’s Diner,

Or Headwaters Park.

Fort Wayne people, did you like the video? Were the landmarks recognizable to you? What other landmarks did they miss?

Link via Nathan.

What kind of hat can I wear?

/ Shane / 5 Comments

One day, as we were descending into the subway in New York City, we saw an older gentleman coming up the stairs. With our view from above, we could see an absolutely horrifying splotch of skin cancer right in the middle of his big bald head. It was quite memorable, and somewhat terrifying. Since that time, Sara has insisted that I keep my own big bald head covered whenever I go anywhere near the sun.

It certainly beats rubbing sunscreen into your hair. However, sometimes I feel kind of dumb wearing a ball cap.

When I was in college, I wore a ball cap practically every day. Maybe that’s why I feel like maybe I’m a little old to be wearing a ball cap. Or sometimes I feel like I’m dressed up a little fancy to be wearing a ball cap (and by fancy, I mean a button down shirt or something, I’m not exactly walking around in a tuxedo here). I don’t know, maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not, but in any case what are my other options? I’ve tried on a few other kinds of hats here and there, but none of them seem quite right. Is there an accepted “adult” style of hat? What kind of hat fits my personality?

I could go with the hiking hat, but that’s pretty much as casual as a ball cap, and I don’t want to imply I’m an outdoorsman.

What about a bahama hat? Still pretty informal, but more suitable for relaxing in a cafe in Havana, which is more my speed.

Or perhaps a panama hat? A little more formal, and it sort of looks like the kind of hat I could grow into, like a gangster, or Wilford Brimley.

I don’t know. They’re all a little casual without being too casual, which I like, but maybe we need to expand our search a little bit. Consider some alternatives.

I don’t think I could do a cowboy hat. I’m not exactly country, and I’m not sure it would really fit in in my neighborhood.

On the other hand, maybe a newsboy hat. Oliver looks pretty damn good in his, why not me?

Not too bad, but maybe we need to think outside the box a little bit…

Barbershop hat?

Okay, but if I’m going to go barbershop, why not do it right and go porkpie?

I think the best looking one has to be the fedora. Great color, feather in the brim, jaunty angle? Check, check and check.

As long as we’re going old school, maybe I should go bowler hat. A little old fashioned perhaps, but also a little cool, steampunk style.

Now we’re talking! Or maybe something like:

Hey, if it’s good enough for Indiana Jones, it’s good enough for me!

Or, of course, there’s always the ever popular…

So, gentle reader, what say you?

Baconfest 2012, Taste Test

/ Shane / 1 Comment

We had 4 new competitors throw their hats into the ring this year:

  1. Willow Lake Farms (Custom Quality Meats)
  2. Pecatonica Valley (Madison Farmer’s Market)
  3. Oscar Mayer Pre-cooked (any old grocery store)
  4. Jim’s Double Smoked (Jim’s Market, Madison)

The focus was really on local (well, local to Madison anyway!) bacons, or at least ones you can’t just walk into the supermarket and buy. Indie bacons, if you will. Of particular note was the Willow Lake Farms’ bacon, because this is Amanda’s family’s personal bacon. For realz. They not only own the butcher shop (Custom Quality Meats), they actually raise the animals that eventually become their product. It doesn’t get any more “local” than that!

The sharp eyed among you will note that the exception, of course, being the Oscar Mayer pre-cooked “control” bacon. This was supposed to be a surprise, which necessitated that this year’s test be a blind taste test, but I saw the box in the cooler the night before. So only my brother actually knew which one was the Oscar Mayer. I knew that it was in there, but I actually forgot about it until I had recorded all of my observations. Suddenly I broke out in a cold sweat. What if I actually ranked it as the best? Oh, the disgrace!

Without further ado, here are the rankings:

Nathan:

Brand Rating (1-10) Comments
Willow Lake Farms  7 Very lean, mild flavor
Pecatonica Valley  8 Salty, stronger flavor, just enough fat
Oscar Mayer Pre-cooked  4 Super thin – not a meaty taste, salty
Jim’s Double Smoked  7 1/2 Thickest cut of the day, well seasoned, good amount of fat

Amanda:

Brand Rating (1-10) Comments
Willow Lake Farms  8 Very mild flavor, perfect breakfast bacon – not smokey & not too sweet
Pecatonica Valley  6 pretty sweet, a little salty
Oscar Mayer Pre-cooked  5 looks thin, not much flavor, slightly smokey at the end
Jim’s Double Smoked  5 very meaty flavor – almost too much like ham, not smokey enough

Sara:

Brand Rating (1-10) Comments
Willow Lake Farms  7 plain, not too flavorful, versatile, not too salty 🙂
Pecatonica Valley  7 1/2 similar to blue circle with a slightly smoky taste
Oscar Mayer Pre-cooked  5 a little stale and chewy, but still bacon
Jim’s Double Smoked  6 thick, a little chewy, saltier than others, thick strip of fat is kind of unappetizing

Shane:

Brand Rating (1-10) Comments
Willow Lake Farms  6 salty, little fatty, thicker, almost tough
Pecatonica Valley  7 perfect texture, salty, almost oilier somehow, but not fatty, similar taste to blue, but better texture
Oscar Mayer Pre-cooked  5 almost brittle, not as salty, average
Jim’s Double Smoked  5 chewy, more piggy

Overall Results:

Brand Average Rating
Willow Lake Farms 7
Pecatonica Valley 7.125
Oscar Mayer Pre-cooked 4.75
Jim’s Double Smoked 5.875

Overall, I felt like all the bacon was relatively similar, and therefore hard to rank. Two interesting things from the results:

  1. Oscar Mayer lost by a decent margin. Thank god, all is right with the world! I really forgot to pay attention to that during the test, and I really was worried I would accidentally like it. However, without knowing which bacon was which, everybody ranked it the lowest.
  2. Amanda’s family’s bacon did not win. However, it did miss out by only .125 measly points! That is one small margin of victory. Amanda didn’t seem upset about this, but I think she was relieved that she at least ranked it the highest. She attributed it to the fact that she always had this bacon growing up, so when she tasted it she immediately thought, “That’s what bacon is supposed to taste like!”
I should also point out that we had a second kind of bacon from Willow Lake Farms for breakfast (a round “sandwich bacon”) that was most excellent, but not part of the taste test.
Just like last year, we let Evie fill out a ballet, even though we didn’t count it in the rankings. Evie opted for a graphical depiction of her emotions, rather than a 1 – 10 ranking. And just like last year, Evie was again dead on: her favorite was the grand champion (Pecatonica Valley), and her least favorite was the grand loser (Oscar Meyer Pre-cooked). You’ll notice that all of the bacons received a smiley face except that one, which received a frowny face with tears:

I can assure you, I’ve never been prouder as a dad. She obviously has a finely tuned pallet. Maybe she has a future as some kind of sommelier for bacon?