Woody Harrelson gets attacked by zombies

And apparently often, since he mistakes regular people for zombies. Although, something tells me it’s not the first time he has mistakenly think he was being attacked by zombies. Which leads to the obvious question, if a zombie ate Woody Harrelson, would he get high? And should Matthew Mcconaughey be on the lookout for the undead?

Last Thursday I was in D.C. for a software demo and two funny things happened. First off, right as we were about to begin loud sirens began blaring over the phone and a voice announced “Emergency, emergency! Please exit the building!” as if there were some kind of bomb scare or something. I think the guy was trying to tell us that he would call back when he could, but since we couldn’t hear him over the sirens, he just stayed on the phone forever with this message repeating endlessly. I guess it’s not like he went to the bathroom during the demo, but it certainly was interesting.

The second thing that was funny was this guy was giving his part of the presentation and it was B  o  r  i  n  g with a capital B. Everybody was doing the heavy eye, head-bob thing trying to stay awake. Suddenly he stopped talking and then said, “Hold on. My computer fell asleep.” My co-worker almost imploded trying not to laugh. Apparently even technology is not immune to his monotone voice.

I don’t know where she gets this stuff from, but how did I end up with a daughter who asks for her ear drops to be put in her ear and the thing she is most excited about from her Easter basket is her Elmo Toothbrush. She made out pretty good from the whole Easter thing, as Sara said, “She got as much as a normal person should get for Christmas.”

Ice Breaker, part II

Thanks to a commenter on the first Ice Breaker post, we have a new Ice Breaker game to play!

To be honest with you, this one seemed a lot harder than the first one and I didn’t actually finish it. It picks up where the other one left off, so there aren’t really any easy levels at the beginning to get you in the swing of things. Also, there are new kinds of crazy ice in this one right off the bat.

But, if you enjoyed the first one, there’s no reason you won’t enjoy the second one!

Good work Grand Rapids

Well everybody, we all have a new reason to be fat. I give you the 5th/3rd burger:

For those of you not in the know, the Grand Rapids minor league baseball team The Whitecaps, plays in 5th/3rd Park, named after the bank. So this would be something you would consume while watching a baseball game obviously.

I will give you the important statistics here.

  • The burger contains a delicious “five one-third pound hamburger patties on top of that. (Get it, 5/3 pounds of beef for the Fifth Third Burger?)”
  • Other ingredients include cheese, chili, salsa, nacho cheese, fritos, lettuce, tomato, and sour cream.
  • The burger totals in at more than 4,800 calories 
  • Other scary stats include “nearly 300 grams of fat, 744 milligrams of cholesterol and more than 10,000 milligrams of sodium.”

And all we got are some lousy Tin Caps…although I guess it is kind of hard to make a 5,000 calorie apple.

Z is for Zombie, that’s good enough for me

Bad Uncle Nathan has promised for a long time to turn Evie into an evil genius so I assume we can be expecting a set of Young Mad Scientist Alphabet Blocks from ThinkGeek.

The full block list is as follows, and I think you will agree that it covers all the bases your future Evil Genius needs to know to help her grow.

A – Appendages
B – Bioengineering
C – Caffeine
D – Dirigible
E – Experiment
F – Freeze ray
G – Goggles
H – Henchmen
I – Invention
J – Jargon
K – Potassium
L – Laser
M – Maniacal
N – Nanotechnology
O – Organs
P – Peasants (with Pitchforks)
Q – Quantum physics
R – Robot
S – Self-experimentation
T – Tentacles
U – Underground Lair
V – Virus
W – Wrench
X – X-Ray
Y – You, the Mad Scientist of Tomorrow
Z – Zombies

And if that isn’t enough of a learning experience for your little one, you can also get a nice plush pirate which will help teach skills like shoe tying, snaps, buttons, etc. I assume you can also practice eye patch application and sword buckling, so your little one will truely be prepared to face the day.

Here’s hoping Evie can be the first to cross mad genius and pirate!

(Pirate link courtesy Meg)

Where the bailout money should be going

To Kevin Bacon, that’s who!

It has recently been brought to my attention that Kevin Bacon lost all of his money to Bernie Madoff and has gone so far as to say he is looking for work. This is obviously a national tragedy and needs to be remedied immediately.

At first I thought, that is ridiculous! If Kevin Bacon wanted a Tremors 5, he snaps his fingers and it’s done. Are you telling me they aren’t filming a Surreal Life somewhere? “Maybe he has standards,” said Sara. She makes a good point.

But I think Nathan and I figured it out. The perfect quick buck for a Kevin Bacon that is still somewhat respectable. Dancing with the Stars!

Who would stand a chance with Kevin Bacon rocking the footloose dance? Nobody, that’s who.

Worst case, he can always fall back on the Bacon Brothers. And worst, worst case I think I can speak for everyone when I say he can fall back on the other, less famous bacon brothers if he absolutely has to.