Fun Stuff

[Stuff] my dad says

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Did you ever know someone who just says funny things? Just a quote generating machine? Well, thanks to the Internet, you don’t have to enjoy this person all by your lonesome anymore. Take 29 year old Justin, who lives with his 73 year old curmudgeon father. He just takes the things his dad says on a daily basis and throws them up on a twitter account, and just like that he got a T.V. deal.

*Warning* The *ahem* [stuff] his dad says can be a bit profane and/or vulgar. His dad doesn’t have much of a filter on his mouth, which is part of what makes this so funny! I edited the ones below.

So here is a random sampling. Click on the link above to read pages and pages of this stuff. It is hilarious and addicting.

  • “Son, no one gives a [crap] about all the things your cell phone does. You didn’t invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that.”
  • “The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain’t like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain’t spitting it out.”
  • “Here’s a strawberry, sorry for farting near you…Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop [complaining], or no strawberry, that’s the deal.”
  • “The worst thing you can be is a liar….Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2”
  • “Your mother rented this film, What Happens In Vegas. I thought it was going to be non-fiction, but it’s fiction, and it’s about some idiot.”
  • “Don’t touch the bacon, it’s not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i’ll let you handle…what ever it is you do. I guess nothing.”

Christmas, coming to a cube near you!

/ Shane / 1 Comment

Now that Thanksgiving is past, I don’t feel bad about putting up some Christmas stuff (It is the 1st of December after all). Now, if you work a desk job like me, your cube (or what have you…I don’t actually sit in a cube) can always use a little sprucing up. The problem is, the second you start plugging things in, the safety people are all over you. But if you work at a computer, you have a convenient source of power just sitting there. As always, we turn to the leader in USB powered devices, ThinkGeek, for all our festive desk decorations.

First up, a USB-powered Fiber optic christmas tree.

ThinkGeek always goes above and beyond. In this case, they not only provide us with a nice product, but even a festive song to go with it:

O USB! O USB! A wonder of technology;
O USB! O USB! A wonder of technology;
Our favorite toys are plug and play,
Just stick it in and we’re on our way.
O USB! O USB! A wonder of technology!

If you’d rather go with something a little more low key, more traditional, you can just stick with the USB-powered Christmas Lights:

This is why you’re fat – Thanksgiving Edition

/ Shane / Leave a comment

I have mentioned the most excellent blog This is Why You’re Fat. Since today is the most grandiose this-is-why-you’re-fat holiday of them all, someone did a nice roundup of some ridiculous food items you may want to consider for your holiday feast. You can read the whole article, with wonderful pictures of each food item, or you can just read my summary below and click on anything that seems particularly delicious.

And by the way, I don’t appreciate the implication that taking any item and putting bacon on it is somehow over the top. More delicious, of course, but some of these are more inspired than others.

Link via Anna.

Bacon Updates from my Field Reporters

/ Shane / 1 Comment

First up is a step-by-step how-to for making bacon soap with real bacon fat. Some people might think that is gross, but I’m on board with this. Most bacon stuff smells like fake bacon, which is gross and artificial, and nothing like real bacon. So I’m guessing this stuff would be way better.

Next up is Skillet Bacon Jam which I have not tried, but continues to get good reviews. If I had to try one strange bacon product right now, this would be at the top of my list. (Although, sorry Meg, I did mention it back in July)

And finally, as my field reporter said, “Because anything edible can be made of bacon. I’m waiting for the bacon wedding cake. Oh wait…”

Yes, there is a bacon wedding cake.

I especially like the little bacon bride and groom on top.

Links via my bacon-related-eyes-and-ears-in-Oslo.

Whoa, late breaking news from a second bacon field reporter! Tonight at 9 p.m. in Seattle, the Bacathalon! According to the website, this will be “the world’s first bacon-themed multi-sport athletic event” including “an attempt to set an unbreakable World Record for Bacon Eating”. To top it off, proceeds go to a children’s cancer charity. Give me one good reason not to attend this event (other than “I don’t live in Seattle” of course)!

Link via my bacon-related-eyes-and-ears-in-Seattle.

McDonald’s around the world

/ Shane / 4 Comments

I am fascinated by the fact that McDonald’s located in different parts of the world have different menu items that are customized to the local culture. And I’m not just talking about the Royale with Cheese, I mean really weird stuff.

I talked about this a couple of years ago, after personally seeing some strange things at McDonald’s in Italy and England, especially the “McPink” which involved Ham. Meg had some interesting things in the comments that she’s seen in China and Italy, such as cucumbers and spicy sauce or taro root pies. A co-worker from Canada has complained about the lack of poutine at McDonald’s here in the states (for those of you not in the know, poutine involves french fries and cheese curds, covered in gravy) (and for those Canadian readers out there, spell check does not recognize the word poutine, proving that you shouldn’t be eating it, thank-you-very-much).

So anyway, here’s the latest list of weird stuff McDonald’s sells around the world. I think we can all agree…sugar soaked spaghetti?? Come on Philippines, what are you thinking?!