Author: Shane

Whole Foods Feud Update

/ Shane / 1 Comment

Since multi-grain crust pizzas from Whole Foods came up yesterday in Oliver’s poem, I just want to give you a little update. You’re probably thinking that the feud has blown over, because you haven’t heard about it recently.

Well, it hasn’t.

Last Friday we called four hours early, as we have every week for the last THIRTEEN MONTHS, they told us that they were thawing some out and, in fact, writing a note to make sure the next shift knew about the pizzas, so there “wouldn’t be any surprises”.

Guess what? Surprises!!

When we got there to pick up the pizzas, it turns out they had already sold our multi-grain crusts to someone else. Not only were our pizzas on regular crusts, but they also made us broccoli instead of sausage.

It would be annoying if it wasn’t utterly predictable. They didn’t even give us a discount!

I do find it interesting that the response from the corporate office way back in May was, “Well, you know, it’s really not that popular…” AND YET the number of times we show up to get our pizza only to find it has been sold to someone else. Obviously SOMEBODY out there wants it! Maybe if it wasn’t, I dunno, impossible to actually obtain, someone might buy it? Maybe?

Obviously there is no reason to continue ordering pizzas there. We have tried, oh have we tried, to help them get it together. We have vowed so many times to never buy pizzas there, and yet we go back. Why?

I guess for the sense of justice? Can you imagine if someone asked you to do something at work, and you were still getting it wrong after 52 consecutive weeks? Can you even imagine?

I was hoping maybe things would get better under Amazon, but at the moment I can say the Hyde Park Whole Foods has THE WORST pizza department in the ENTIRE WORLD.

“Where I’m From” by Oliver

/ Shane / 1 Comment

I am from Whole Foods Cheese Pizza
with multi-grain crust (sometimes),
Battleship with Evelyn,
spider plants around the house,
making applesauce,
and wanting to be a soldier when I grow up
is where I’m from.

I am from birthday cheesecakes,
a brownstone house,
and Wisconsin is where I’m from.

I am from the Packers,
A Series of Unfortunate Events,
and homemade bread is where I’m from.

I am from time-outs
and butterflies.

This is where I’m from

I love this poem to pieces. “Time-outs and butterflies” is about the concisest, most accurate description of Oliver I can imagine.

Cranberry Almond Muffins

/ Shane / 2 Comments

The first Friday of the month is reserved for recipes. You can see additional First Friday Food posts here.

 

Hi guys. Evelyn speaking.

As a advertisement for my business Party, Celebration, for all of the Nation, (Which comes with your choice of a party dessert, by the way), I am doing a guest post on my dad’s blog. I am doing step by step directions, so if you don’t like my method, go ahead and scroll all the way down for the recipe.

1.Preheat your oven to 400 degrees F.

2.Go ahead and put the dried cranberries and water on the stove. You can keep them on there for about 3 minutes, but since I tend to be the slower type of baker, keeping it on the lowest heat can be okay. Just make sure the water doesn’t completely evaporate.

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3. Mix the dry ingredients together in a bowl. (It should be mixed, the picture is only like this for decoration). Put like 5 pinches of lemon zest and put the rest in the freezer-you can use it to make scones.

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4. In a separate bowl, mix the wet ingredients. If you are juicing (is it juicing or de-juicing?) a lemon, keep lemon juice clear of any cuts. It will sting bad if the two come into contact.

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5. Mix the the wet ingredients into the dry until ALMOST combined. Drain the water out of the cranberries, and fold them into the mixture.

6. Grease some muffin tins and put the batter in. It should make 12 muffins, so if you have less, even it out between all 12. Then put three sliced almonds in a triangular shape on top of all the muffins. Bake for 18-20 minutes. Tip: Do not lick the spoon. This muffin batter does not taste good before baking. Belive me; I tried.

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7. Let the muffins cool on a cooling rack. Eat them with fruit or at least a glass of water because they tend to be on the dry side, (It’s not your fault).

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The Recipe:

(It’s from the Vegan Yum-Yum cookbook.)

  • 1/2 rounded cup dried cranberries in 1/2 c. water
  • 2 c. flour
  • 1/3 c. sugar
  • 2 tsp. baking powder
  • 1 tsp. baking soda
  • 1/4 tsp. salt
  • 1 TBL. cornstarch
  • zest from 1 lemon
  • 1 c. milk
  • juice from 1 lemon
  • 1/3 c. olive oil
  • 1 tsp. vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp. almond extract
  1. Preheat oven to 400F.
  2. Place the cranberries and water in a small saucepan and heat until simmering.  Simmer for 3 minutes then remove from heat.
  3. In a large bowl, mix flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cornstarch, and lemon zest.
  4. In a separate bowl, mix together the milk, lemon juice, veggie oil, vanilla, and almond extracts.
  5. Gently fold the wet ingredients into the dry until almost combined.  Drain the cranberries and fold into the batter, mixing until just combined.
  6. Fill a muffin tin with batter, top with a few sliced almonds, and bake for 18 to 20 minutes.

Curious Fictions

/ Shane / Leave a comment

I want to tell you about a brand new fiction website, Curious Fictions.

Curious Fictions is a story-aggregator site with the goal of helping readers find the stories that they want to read. Have a writer you like? (::cough, cough::) Quickly find all of their stories, regardless of genre whatever magazines they’ve published those stories in. You can search by keywords, genre, magazine, or author and then get an estimate about how long it will take to read the story (i.e. is this a 3 minute read or a 15 minute read?)

Curious Fictions operates on a “pay what you want” model. You set up your credit card when you create an account, but I promise you never have to pay if you don’t want to. But if you read a story by someone you like (::COUGH, COUGH::), you can toss them as little (or as much!) as you want.

Obvs you’re reading this here, so you’ve probably picked up on the fact that I have a few stories up. One thing I like about this site is that it lets me put up stories that were previously unavailable online, so you guys can read them!

Let me know what you guys think, and if you like the site I will put up more stories.

OH HEY LOOK AT THAT? Who is this week’s featured story?