Evelyn: “Does this outfit look like something a teacher’s pet would wear? Because it’s really hard to convey that over zoom.”
Me: “Will you do a beauty salon on me sometime?”
Alex: “When you get more hair.”
Alex: “What does fond mean?”
Me: “It means you like something. Like if I said I’m fond of you it means I like you!”
Alex: “I’m very fond of Mommy.”
Crossword clue: Your nephew’s sister is your ______.
Alex, without hesitation: “Your wife!”
Evelyn: “…and we had this jingle that went like — OH MY GOD IS THAT SQUIRREL WEARING SHOES??”
Me: “That’s a terrible jingle.”
(I never did see if the squirrel was wearing shoes)
Evelyn: (while holding up a huge knife) “This would be great in the zombie apocalypse.”
Alex (who I will remind you is only 4 years old): “You don’t need a knife. You only need a bat.”
And that, my friends, is called good parenting!