Ollie picked up a habit somewhere of saying, “What the heck?” We’re not sure where he got that from. I don’t think Sara or I say “What the heck” very much. Maybe from school? Anyway, he didn’t just say, “what the heck,” he was living “what the heck”. He said it, like, once every 30 seconds.

It didn’t bother me too much, but it was driving Sara crazy. It got to the point that every time he said it, I could see Sara cringe. Finally, she told him it was rude, and asked him to say something else instead. After deliberating about it for awhile, he came up with, “What the grumbles?”

What the grumbles?

Now, this is just about the best swear ever. Obviously, it’s best delivered by a just-turned-five year old with a bit of difficulty with his ‘R’s, of course (“What the gwumbles?”), but I find myself taking any opportunity to say it.

A just plain, “What the grumbles?” when something strange happens is the best, but there are other opportunities as well: “What the grumbles was that?” or, “What in the grumbles is going on in here?”

So this is totally a thing now. Feel free to start saying it yourself. Drop it into conversations. Say it at work.

Come on, you know you want to.

What the grumbles?