Someone please chop off my head

(I just sneezed 5 times in between writing that title and writing this sentence, no joke.)

Allergies. Allllllleeerrrrggiiiiis! šŸ˜¦ Quite frankly, I don’t even know why the scientists make them.

I really can’t tell if this is the worst allergy season ever, if my allergies are gradually getting worse, or if I just forget from year to year how bad allergies are. All I know is that, right now? I want to crawl in a hole and die. My head hurts. I can’t stop sneezing. I’ve gone through half a box of kleenexes. My eyes are red and raw. It is impossible to escape the very air you breathe.

And I’m on allergy meds!

During the day I’m experiencing these things on a low grade and thinking I feel miserable. Then I go outside. All of a sudden it hits me like a ton of bricks, and I experience true misery. Sometimes I have to drive without my glasses so the tears can stream freely down my face. Sometimes I have to pull over because my allergies are too much for me to handle while driving.Ā No joke, my allergies hit me so bad just from the parking lot into work, my coworkers actually asked me if it would be better for someone to drop me close to the door, to save me the few extra feet of walking outside.

I’m starting to develop a pavlovian fear response to sunlight, hearing birds chirping, or the smell of freshly cut grass. Instead of being good things, they make me think of pain and suffering.

The worst part is, when you have a terrible cold, you can at least go to bed and hope you will feel better in the morning. In this case, there is no hope. You can go to sleep, but you’re not going to feel better. For weeks.

This all makes me think of the worlds most famous allergy sufferer:

Think about it. Why do you think he has that air-filtrationĀ apparatusĀ on his face 24/7? Why do you think he’s ready to choke a dude at a moment’s notice? Alderaan looked pretty green, no wonder he wanted to blow it up.Ā I’m really starting to be on Mr. Vader’s side in all of this; allergies make me want to turn to the dark side too. And when did he really turn to the dark side in the first place? Apparently in the middle of a hellacious allergy attack, because this is exactly how my eyes look right now:

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2 thoughts on “Someone please chop off my head

  1. Flowers lead to pollen, pollen leads to allergies, allergies lead to hate, hate leads to blowing up all of the flowering plants in the galaxy.

    I imagine in an alternate ending, a happy, allergy-free Anakin jumping from rock to rock across a lava flow, only to be overcome by hate when Obi Wan is seen on the other side holding a flower for Anakin, in an otherwise plant-free world.

    Like

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