Evie: “I bet poor people who don’t have any houses try to be naughty all year so Santa will bring them coal for a fire.”

::watching a freight train go by::
Evie: “I bet all of this coal is on it’s way to Santa for all the naughty girls and boys.”

Me: “I’m wearing these pants because I’m saving my good jeans for court.” <– Something tells me I wasn’t the first person to speak these words

Me: “Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve. Do you know what happens on Christmas Eve?”
Ollie: “Hating the Whos?”

::Me, jumping out from under a bridge::
Me: “Who’s that clip-clopping on my bridge?”
Ollie: “Me!”
Me: “Now I’m going to eat you all up!”
Ollie: “No way, José!”