- The Christmas Story really glosses over the whole “childbirth in a manger” thing. Mary’s looking pretty good (and clean) considering she just finished giving birth with no anesthesia. Big smile on her face, clean clothes. I guess they swept out the bloody straw and replaced it with new stuff? Washed the place up with all the water you found in the desert? One of the stories said she “brought forth her baby” as if she pulled it out from under her dress or something. And, aside from the fact that baby Jesus was apparently a blonde, white kid, he is pictured as being at least a year old. You’re telling me he sat up to greet the shepherds with a smile on his face an hour after he was born? In some of the pictures, he has teeth!
- At work, someone asked if it was okay to put up a Christmas tree. “I just wanted to make sure I wouldn’t offend anyone,” she said, making it pretty clear what she thought about people who didn’t like Christmas trees. Now, I’m all for Christmas trees. But why bother asking me, if you’ve made it clear I can’t say no? Just put it up. I’d be more offended at your tone about people who are offended by Christmas trees, than I would about the actual Christmas tree.
- Rebates. In theory, I’m totally down with rebates. I understand the game is that some people will buy something based on the price after rebate, but then they won’t send it in. So, from the company’s point of view, it might work out better than just putting the item on sale. But, if someone does send in their rebate, then you have to pay them. You make your money on the people who don’t send them back, you don’t get to also keep the money for the people who do! Rebates are so scammy. And in what world does it take 12 weeks to “process” the rebate?? If you really cared about doing a for-real rebate, you’d put the entry online and you’d get the check back in a week, 2 weeks max. Anything else, and you’re hoping people forget they sent it in, “accidentally” losing a few a long the way. I would love for someone to investigate this. I bet they just throw a certain percentage in the trash.
- “Deals”. Everywhere you look, in every store, prices are slashed! Hurry, hurry, hurry, buy now, super Christmas savings! Never mind that almost none of the things on sale are needed by anybody. Thank you so much for marking down your cheap plastic garbage that you made for 1¢ in China and marketed to kids as the next big thing to only $15! What a deal! Quit doing me the favor.
- When the parents in books have to “get up early” on Christmas morning at 6 a.m. Look, if you’re blessed with kids that don’t wake up until after 6, no complaining! No illustrated eye rolling! If you can’t get up by 6 a.m. once a year on Christmas morning, then you can bite me.
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Shane Halbach 