In honor of his birthday, my uncle Scott posted a series of “Gettin’ Older” status updates on Facebook. I am collecting them here for your enjoyment:
Day 1 – I sometimes accidentally refer to my iPod as my Walkman….
Day 2 – Professional Athletes are younger than me. RETIRED professional athletes are younger than me.
Day 3 – Bifocals are WAY cooler than I thought they would be.
Day 4 – A night out overindulging is less likely to involve alcohol with friends, and more likely to involve Ted Drewes frozen custard with the kids.
Day 5 – Sleeping through the night is rare. Sleeping through a movie is probable.
Day 6 – I don’t care for the term “mid-life”; I prefer “Halftime”. Still a lot of game left to play…I’ll grow up at the 2 minute warning….
Day 7 – No better reminder that you’re getting older than when the young lady who’s cutting your hair asks, “Would you like me to trim your eyebrows?”
Day 8 – “Classic Rock” has a much different playlist than it did 20 years ago. (Imagine that!) Yes, kids, someday you’ll be listening to the “Way Back Machine” and hear the early song stylings of Justin Bieber!
Day 9 – I can go online, get the latest updates, check several different websites, but it’s not the same…I still like starting the day reading the newspaper.
Day 10 – Women have to deal with Hot Flashes. For men, it’s more like a slow, warm decay, something akin to composting, and unfortunately, sharing similar odors at times.
Day 11 – I look pretty silly when I try to dance. That is not neccesarily an age thing, but now it is accompanied by the very real threat of physical injury, and emotional damage to those watching.
Day 12 – I’m not slowing down;I’m just very selective about how I choose to burn calories.
Day 13 – “With age comes wisdom.” Right on schedule with the former, feeling a little cheated on the latter….
Day 14 – I can remember back when grownups didn’t wear jeans and tennis shoes
Day 15 – I finally can say things like, “When I was a kid…”, “Back in my day…”, and “Gosh, that’s loud!” without trying to be humorous. Sadly, the indifferent response is still the same.
Day 16 – I am torn between how sore I am when I wake up in the morning, and being grateful that I don’t feel any worse.
Day 17 – Caffeine runs a fine line between helpful and harmful. It may get my motor running, but nowadays runs the real risk of blowing a gasket.
Day 18 – Life is a journey, and you need to appreciate the ride.
But this older V-8 needs a lot of maintenance, and gas prices just keep going up.
Day 19 – The trick is to grow old gracefully. Where does “kicking and screaming” fit into that equation?
Day 20 – It’s hard for me to fathom sometimes, but the Bicentennial was 35 years ago! Still have some mementos…
Day 21 – Doing yardwork counts as exercize. Doing laundry counts as exercize. Standing up from a chair without a spotter counts as exercize.
Day 22 – There are a lot of things I cannot do any longer. But that’s okay; I’m having a hard time remembering why I wanted to do them in the first place!
Day 23 – Your conversation topics seem to revolve around a repetitive list: the weather, what you ate the previous day, the way younger people dress, how late the neighbors stayed up, that dry patch of skin on your elbow…(feel free to add to this list. My friends want me to find some new topics….)
Day 24 – I have no desire these days to visit Pamplona. I wonder what Hemingway would write about “sitting with the squirrels”.
Day 24 – There is a greater chance that I will lose track of where I am when I am counting. Sorry, Day 25….
Day 26 – I can still eat whatever I choose. It’s strictly coincidental that my choices are much more bland.
Day 27 – In order to stave off feeling older, I try to start my day being cheerful, upbeat, and friendly. The drawback is that nobody recognizes me….
Day 28 – Listening to music with my kids…
ME: This song is excellent! I used to love it when I was a kid!
CHRIS: Did they have music when you were a kid?
(He told that he meant “did we had iPods?” when I was a kid. Nice save, Little Buddy….)
Day 29 – I’m not alone
Day 30 – It doesn’t take a lot of talent to get older, though a little luck is involved.
Getting older is a privilege, not an entitlement. Roll with the process, and enjoy the time you have