It would be a grave disservice to not have a post about the thing I am spending most of my time on these days: the Olympics.

It is only fitting, considering the amount of coverage I got on my last Olympic post.

Let me first start by saying that I haven’t seen ANY curling this year, which is the sport I was most looking forward to. If you haven’t seen curling, you are missing out. The part you don’t think about is the strategy involved with precisely placing stones to block your opponent.

In general, I think the sports that actually pit one person or team against another directly, as opposed to those that are against the clock or scored by judges, are far and away the best. That is why short track speed skating = AWESOME. The luge, however = not awesome. At first it seems cool to see guys hurling down at 80 mph, ready to sacrifice their body. Unfortunately, it gets old fast. If you’ve seen one luge run, you’ve seen them all. There’s not much difference to see between a good run and a bad run (other than crashes and falls, of course, which they don’t mind playing over and over again, in all their glory).

I’m not a big fan of figure skating. I don’t really mind it all that much. It turns out I just like competition. There’s something about watching people compete for a medal, when everything is on the line, that can make virtually anything exciting. I would watch Olympic paint drying if there was such a thing.

The real reason I don’t like figure skating is because they fall down. ALL THE TIME. It just seems like we ought to be able to find 3 people in the entire world that can skate on ice and not fall down. I really hate to see someone who fell during their routine end up getting a medal. It just doesn’t feel right. Maybe the penalty needs to be a little stiffer for a fall. Like execution. I bet after a few of those, people would stop falling.

Another thing that really bothers me about the games is the somewhat mercenary nature of citizenship. I’m all about rooting for the U.S.A., but I’m constantly hearing about how this one or that one just got their citizenship less than a year ago. And it works the other way too, with Mr. Italy, 10 time Italian champion who was born in Rome and eats nothing but spaghetti day and night, and he happens to live in rural Pennsylvania. It’s one thing if it’s the whole immigrant story, with some kid coming over to the U.S. and climbing his way out of poverty to eventually win the gold in the Olympics. However, it doesn’t strike me as what’s happening. Instead, it just seems like people are switching allegiances to any convenient country where they can compete. So how am I supposed to feel good about the medals the U.S. is winning with these ringers from other countries? Am I crazy that I want my athletes to be super patriots?

Don’t get me wrong though, it’s not all complaining. If everything was so awful, I wouldn’t spend 6 hours a night, every night, watching it. For every bad thing, there are two good things. Snowboard Cross. Short Track Speed Skating. Snowboard Half Pipe. And nothing can beat watching those Canadians belt out the national anthem after winning the gold in Ice Dancing. If you have to lose a medal to another country, it sure makes you feel good to see them really enjoying it.