The Library Book Incident

Let me start by saying that Evie is an amazingly good kid. She very, very rarely does anything to really get in trouble. Furthermore, let me say that we sort of brought about this situation by planning a day that was a little rough for her. She missed meal times and she missed nap time. So, by the time we finally did get her down for a nap, she was sort of past the point of no return.

So, more or less, the library book incident involved her ripping the crap out of the book, when she was supposed to be taking a nap. I mean, utterly destroying, every single page removed. It was sort of spectacular in it’s destruction.

Now, since she doesn’t usually do things like this, Sara and I were sort of at a loss for what to do. We told her how naughty it was and gave her a time-out, but she just didn’t seem to really get it. She told me later, the reason she ripped up that book was because it wasn’t hers. She knew on some surface level that she was wrong, but there wasn’t really any indication that she wouldn’t just do it again, if given the chance.

I felt like it was important that she be the one to tell the librarian that she ripped up the book. This technique probably works pretty well for a little older kids, but she’s a little too young to be cowed by such a thing. I still think it was the right thing to do though. The library was open for another 45 minutes or so, so we hopped in the car so we could take care of it while it was still fresh in her mind.

I felt pretty bad when, on the way to the library, she was saying to herself, “You have to apologize. You always apologize before you go to the police.” Ouch! I explained to her that we were not going to the police, just the library, but I kind of thought, “Maybe we’re overdoing it a little bit.” It only got worse.

She never did manage a nap, so as soon as we got in the car, she was out. When we got to the library she was in that state that kids get into sometimes where they are so tired that nothing else matters in the world. She tried walking with her eyes closed. She grabbed on to the legs of people she didn’t know, clinging to them for support. She couldn’t support her own weight, slumping to the floor when I wasn’t physically holding her up. So here we are waiting in line so that she can apologize to the librarian, and I’m trying everything to wake her up. I felt like everyone was judging me, thinking, “Geez, no wonder this kid did this, her parents are clearly not letting her nap, etc.” In short, I felt like a child abuser. She did apologize (and wake up) at some point. We also returned all the other library books and didn’t get any more.

I feel like we handled it pretty well. Anybody else have similar experiences? Horror stories? Support, sympathy, ridicule? Share in the comments.

7 thoughts on “The Library Book Incident

    • It was Rosemary Wells, I believe the Secret Birthday. It’s not Max and Ruby, it’s in another series she has with animals that go to school (the cat’s name is Yoko).

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  1. Sorry, Shane, I couldn’t help but laugh as I was reading this! I guess that means I didn’t in any way think you and Sara were child abusers. You did handle it very well. I’m happy to say that I haven’t experienced this (yet); however, after 2 days without a nap, Andrew had a rough time this afternoon. His behavior was getting out of hand and I told him to take a break – in his room, on the couch – I didn’t care where. This led him to falling asleep on the couch, and consequently, peeing on it. I’m not entirely sure it was an accident.

    I think it was good you took her to the library like that (tired or not), and used the “incident” as an opportunity to teach her. How much did you have to pay for the book?

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    • It was less than I was anticipating; just under $10.

      The people kept being like, “You’re going to have to pay for the whole book you know.” Like, duh! What do you think I was doing there? Maybe parents try to get away without paying?

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  2. Shane, I am always impressed at the way you guys are with Evie…I think it sets a good example for having her apologize…no doubt she will remember it and bring it up to you guys at the most inappropriate time….sounds like she may have been working the “drama” routine before she actually apologized….she seems so amazing!

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  3. Shane, we had a similiar incident with Danielle – I swear the people at the mall thought we never fed her. It was a long day, she started a tempertantrum (maybe 4 yrs old) and we said – that’s it, we’re leaving. From one end of the mall to the other (where we were parked) she held her hand out to people as they passed saying she was soooooo hungry and needed to eat, etc. How embarassing but good for you to stick to it and I think you handled it very well.

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  4. Pingback: An Open Letter to the Chicago Public Library « Is this thing on?

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