ShaneHalbach.com

Writing roadblock: she’s just not that into you(r writing)

Every time I read the “how I made it” story of a successful author, it inevitably contains a part about how supportive their wife has been. Believing in them when no one else would, supporting them for years when they were making no money, bending over backwards to take care of the trivialities of life while their head-in-the-clouds husband whiles away the hours on nothing. Now granted, some of them are on their 2nd or 3rd wife, but either way, they had someone who made their success possible.

Must be nice.

For some reason, Sara just isn’t really into it. In retrospect, after she read my stories, she just really had no opinions. I was positively begging her to rip them apart, or tell me which ones she liked, or really anything at all. Her reaction was always, “Eh. I don’t know.” Not exactly what I was going for. So the first obvious sign of her apathy was that she hasn’t been reading my completed stories. At first I was bothering her about it, but at some point I realized that if she didn’t want to read them, I wasn’t going to force her. So I stopped bringing it up, and let’s just say she hasn’t been begging me.

Now this doesn’t really offend me, but it seems very odd to me. If she was doing something similar, writing, or blogging, or painting, I would be falling all over myself to see it. I would just be curious. I wouldn’t be doing it to put on some sort of show of support, I would really be honestly excited to see her creative output. So her lack of interest just seems very atypical to me.

That has been the main thing, but there have been a few other things as well. For example, we were talking about rearranging the basement, and I mentioned that it might be nice to move the computer upstairs. That way, she could have the laptop, but I could still write on a computer. Currently, I write all of my first drafts long-hand in notebooks, to avoid hogging the laptop (this will probably be the topic of some future post). I don’t feel like it is fair for me to hog the main computer all the time, but it also slows my first drafts down quite a bit. So I thought moving the other computer upstairs, where it is more accessible, might be a nice compromise. But Sara refused on the grounds that the computer desk is ugly. Well, it is ugly, but that seems like an awfully severe position to take!

I can definitely see that writing time can cut into family time, or household chore time, etc. Maybe it has to cut into that kind of personal time in order for it to be successful. So I can see how someone might become sort of annoyed with the whole deal. But at this point, I don’t think it has really negatively affected her in any way. And she’s not really anti-writing, more just apathetic towards the whole thing.

So needless to say, she doesn’t need to worry about any dedication pages in any upcoming novels. How about you other writers out there? Is your significant other supportive or not? In what way? How important is it to have the support of your spouse?

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