Oh, the tantrums we’ve been witnessing lately. Full blown, purple, mottled face, choking on the anger type tantrums. There are a lot of things about parenting that make you think about your own parents and what they went through, but with the tantrums lately I’ve really been thinking, “I did that to my parents?” It’s pretty brutal.

So I asked Evie if she had any advice for the other toddlers out there who read my blog and she came up with a couple of hard and fast rules for tantruming:

1. The Tantrum Shall Be Out of Proportion – It is a must to pick something really small and trivial to go off over, such as not getting the correct flavor yogurt, or daddy getting you the stuffed animal you want instead of mommy.
2. The Tantrum Shall Be Capricious – To keep them guessing, make sure you have tantrums arbitrarily; something that is okay one day should set you off the next. Pick something that seems innocuous, like “that is a nice dress.” That is what I chose to go off on this morning. This is important because you don’t want to become predictable.
3. The Tantrum Shall Be Sustainable – Make sure you keep that puppy going for as long as possible. This usually means switching from one topic to the next as they come up. For example, you might want to start off complaining about the color of your spoon, but when someone tries to get you a new spoon, this is an opportunity to switch over to tantruming about which person got the spoon for you. Using this technique, you can keep a tantrum going for over an hour, easily.
4. The Tantrum Shall Be Total War – Make sure to hit them where it hurts. Total war is not all kicking and biting; sometimes you should go for the psychological warfare. One good technique is to offer to do things they have wanted you to do in the past, such as getting dressed or going to the potty. These will really hurt because you know these items are important to them. Of course if they do try to take you up on your offer you don’t actually have to do it. This can actually play nicely into point 3. Also, if possible, make sure other people are around as this will embarrass everyone.
5. The Tantrum Shall Be Victorious – If you absolutely must end a tantrum, never go out on their terms. Always make sure to get some kind of concession. For example, if you realize that they are going to out-wait you and you are eventually going to have to brush your teeth, at least make sure the brushing takes place at a location of your choosing.