Star Wars

Quote Monday’s got smooth moves

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Ollie: “My skin is smooth. Your skin is not smooth.”
Me: “No, my skin is mostly hairy.”
Ollie, touching my head: “Not up here!”

Evie: “Who’s Bubble Fat?”
Sara: “Were some boys talking about that at school today?”
Evie: “Yes, someone’s going to be him for Halloween. And someone else is going to be Star Wars.”

Sara: “I can’t keep up! They’re texting at the speed of smartphones!”

Me: “Evie, why aren’t you dressed yet?”
Evie: “I had to go to the bathroom first.”
Me: “Yes, but you had to wait to get into the bathroom. What were you doing during that time?”
Evie: “Dancing around in my underpants.”

I guess we’re not getting a Death Star after all

/ Shane / 1 Comment

In order to better “connect with the people”, the White House set up an area on whitehouse.gov where the common man can enter petitions, or suggestions to be implemented by the President. Realizing that this was the Internet, and all sorts of dumb things would likely get entered in there, they made a minimum number of signatures required before the White House would actually examine a petition and respond to it. Not realizing this was the Internet, they set the threshold at 25,000 signatures in 30 days, something that is almost laughably easy to achieve (note that they’ve since raised the bar to 100,000).

Logically, this new petition system quickly lead to a brilliant suggestion: the government should begin construction on a Star Wars-style Death Star.

The petition makes some good points, and is appealing to many different segments of the community:

By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.

What’s not to like?

Not surprisingly, this petition quickly reached the required number of signatures, triggering an official response from the White House (and changes to the way the petition system works).

Although I support the creation of the Death Star (and signed the petition), in the government’s defense, they make some pretty good points as well:

Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

The response is great, and filled with Star Wars references, however, I think that you have to read between the lines a little bit. My takeaway is that the government IS ALREADY working on a Death Star, though they can’t come right out and say it. They reference the “giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth” and the laser-wielding Mars rover. Message received Mr. Shawcross. ::wink wink:: Message received.

Finally, some words of wisdom from the White House:

Remember, the Death Star’s power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Indeed.

Space Janitors

/ Shane / 2 Comments

If you like Star Wars (and if you read this blog, it’s a fairly good guess that you do, but there are a few of you in particular I’m thinking of), then you should go check out the web series Space Janitors.

This is a show that examines life on the “other side” of the Imperial Death Star, the low level flunkies and janitors who are just trying to eke out a living while keeping the Death Star plumbing flowing. It’s kind of like a cross between that scene in Clerks where they discuss the poor contractors who got blown up on the incomplete Death Star in Jedi, and the Eddie Izzard Death Star canteen skit.

Most of the episodes are hilarious, but if you’re looking for a good intro episode, I’d start with Laser sword:

George Lucas should hire this guy

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Full disclosure, I didn’t think Episode 1 was all that awful. I think people had very, very high expectations and the movie couldn’t possibly live up to them.

That being said, it wasn’t that amazing either. There was certainly something…missing. I couldn’t say exactly what, until I watched this quick (12 minute) video. This guy totally nails it. It’s kind of surprising how little he would actually change, and how much better it would make the movie. I don’t know if it is because the movie was approached more from a merchandising point of view than from a purely storytelling point of view, if this guy just has more of a feel for story than Lucas does, or if hindsight is just 20/20.

Anyway, enjoy:

Link via somebody, on Facebook I think, but I couldn’t find it anymore.

Warwick Davis

/ Shane / 2 Comments

What do all these movies have in common: Harry Potter, Star Wars, Ray, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, The Chronicles of Narnia : Prince Caspian, and Willow?

Besides the fact that they are awesome, they all star one amazing actor by the name of Warwick Davis.

It would be almost impossible to have not seen Mr. Davis in some movie. Aside from the fact that he works almost continuously (1992 was the last year he didn’t have something come out, and the only year since Star Wars Episode VI in 1983 that he didn’t have anything), but he’s also been in some of the biggest movies of all time.

Warwick Davis as Wicket the Ewok

Of course, his big role was arguably the most famous little person movie of all time, Willow,

Warwick Davis as Willow Ufgood

but for my money, his finest performances were in some movies near and dear to my heart, Leprechaun 1 – 6.

Warwick Davis as The Leprechaun

This is, of course, not to mention some rolls in movies you probably saw but didn’t recognize him in, such as a member of the goblin corps in Labyrinth, or Marvin the Robot in the Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy.

Maybe it is because I am a big fan, but I always recognize him instantly, even in makeup. I’ve learned that, for some reason, no one else seems to recognize him. For example, I don’t know how anybody could have watched the Harry Potter series without recognizing the same actor played Flitwick and Griphook:

Warwick Davis as Prof. Flitwick and Griphook the Goblin

Because he is a little person, he is not known as a hugely successful actor, but his resume matches any but the absolute biggest movie stars (I mean biggest figuratively, not literally). I was so happy to see him get some big on-screen moments as Griphook, and I thought he was fantastic. Hopefully casting directors will (continue to) take note.

Isn’t it about time for a Willow sequel?