V is for Victory ‘Stache

My brother showed up to my mom’s wedding with a ridiculous mustache. He is currently running an election campaign, and he explained that a few people had made a pact that they would not shave their mustaches until they achieved victory.

That’s when I realized that I had this amazing natural resource that I wasn’t using in any way. And why not put my upper lip towards a good cause, and help my brother win his election? Thus, another victory ‘stash was born.

(though of course, we should give props to the original victory ‘stash)

I have always been a big fan of ever-changing, ever-more-ridiculous facial hair. Sara, however, is definitely not a fan of facial hair. I tried to explain to her about a man’s right to choose what he wants to do with his body, but she’s not buying it. Ugh, women! So insensitive. They give you a wedding ring, and then they think they own you. Well, this man is more than just a piece of meat! I’m a piece of meat with a mustache!

And quite honestly, I’m just so tired of being the most handsome man in the room. It’s such as hassle; it’s practically a disability. So I just need to handicap myself a little bit, to bring it down to everyone else’s level.

So far, the best part of having the mustache is watching people flounder around with what to say. Sometimes they say something like, “Uh…wow!”, or sometimes they say nothing at all. In either case, I can just see this process going on behind the eyes like, “I know him to be a reasonable man, and yet…” It’s like they just can’t process it. I just get to imagine these little conversations in their head, like, “Should I laugh about it, or does he honestly think that looks good?” It’s so fantastic.

I guess I can spot the people who think that I think it looks good, because they say something like, “Hey, I like the mustache! It looks good!” Okay, now how am I supposed to take someone seriously after that? Either they really think it looks good, which is kind of silly, or they don’t, in which case they are just lying to me.

I think the problem is that my mustache is not yet ridiculous enough. When it reaches epic proportions, then people will be less inclined to think I’m just an idiot. Then it will be patently obvious that it looks awesome, and nobody will feel the need to mention it, or give me fake compliments. Because then all the compliments will only be real.

Anybody have a good mustache wax vendor?

I HAVE THE POWER

By the power of Greyskull...

In other look-alike news, my brother-in-law pointed out another eerie similarity…

Good Weekend / Bad Weekend

We had a really good weekend. And yet, we also had a really bad weekend. It’s funny though, because this bad stuff kept happening, but somehow it didn’t really ruin anything.

On Friday, I went outside to take the kids to the library, and I found out I had a really low tire. I have a compressor, so I put air in and went to the library, no problems. However, when I got home, as soon as I opened the car door, I could hear the air coming out. It was pretty loud, in fact, you could hear it all the way up to our back door. The tire had gotten wet from melting snow, so you could pinpoint the source of the leak pretty easily. However, we didn’t really need the car anymore on Friday, and on Saturday I got it repaired for $15. No real life disruption whatsoever!

Unfortunately, that was just the beginning of our trouble.

Saturday morning, Sara was using the microwave, and it was acting funny. As she demonstrated it for me and we played with it, starting and stopping it, the power to the microwave suddenly went out. This was followed shortly by the stove, and then later by the refrigerator.

What I know now is that something in the wall came loose, causing a small electrical fire (which I smelled at the time, but assumed was the microwave). Since the microwave was on, it fed back power to the stove, frying the control module and all the outlets on that circuit. The refrigerator is on a separate circuit, but they share a common ground (which is apparently common, and correct), which blew out the outlets on that circuit, but did not fry the refrigerator.

The whole thing is very frightening! From what the electrician said, it was just a random thing that could have happened anytime, anywhere. Luckily, there wasn’t too much damage. We have to pay for the electrical repair, a new microwave, and a repair for the stove. But it’s not as pricey or disruptive as a house fire, that’s for sure!

In fact, it didn’t even disrupt our plans for the day! We went ice skating.

Neither Sara and I are ice skaters. I think I’ve gone 2 or 3 times in my life, and I mostly remember them as being full of pain and humiliation. I was going for Evie’s sake, but I didn’t expect to enjoy it. As it turned out, I was something of a natural! I never fell a single time, and after the first time around the rink I was passing people, skating around people, doing triple lutzes, etc.

Nobody was more surprised about that than I was. I don’t know if it was just because I was trying it for the first time as an adult, or if it is because one time I had this awesome dream about ice skating and when I woke up I knew I could totally ice skate.

Even Sara ended up skating. She wasn’t even going to come, originally. After Oliver woke up from his nap, she ended up coming over to take some pictures. Finally, she ended up borrowing Ron’s skates, and we took a turn around the ice! I was really glad about that, it was a lot of fun. A mom even commented how nice it was to go skating with your sweetheart. Awww! And even despite that comment, I think Sara had a good time.

Now I’m kind of jazzed to go again. We live close to a skating rink that only costs $6 for skate rental (no charge for skating), so we’ve kind of been wasting the opportunity. Evie didn’t like it at first, but she went around a few times anyway and was disappointed when it was time to go home. Her two favorite parts were 1) the hot chocolate, and 2) in an attempt to make her laugh to keep her from getting frustrated, I called her “scissor legs” which she found endlessly hilarious.

The other big highlights of the weekend were teaching Evie how to play and then actually playing a rousing game of sardines around the house, and the most elaborate game of Wizard of Oz I could imagine. There were costumes and scene changes. Since my mom more or less knows the movie line by line, it was very specific. I have a bad feeling we will be reproducing this one for a long time to come (and with Evie, that means doing everything EXACTLY THE SAME as the first time).

So it was the worst weekend in a long time, in terms of bad things happening. But when I look back on the weekend, I only remember it being a good weekend! Not too shabby!

Can I pull off hipster glasses?

I need new glasses, and I’m thinking of getting something radically different. On the other hand, I’ve had similar glasses for so long, that I’m not sure if I can really wrap my head around something new. I usually go for very small glasses that sort of disappear into my face. So I ask you, Internet, can I pull off big, thick glasses?

More or less creepy?

As Sara pointed out, glasses like that typically go better with nicer clothes than hooded sweatshirts

So, what sayest thou?

The Children of the Night

The other day we got a picture of Oliver eating a puff…

OR DID WE?

Who will be his next victim?? I did say I suspected him of being a vampire…