Okay, every time I watch Gilmore Girls (which is once a week religiously) and Lorelai references the fact that she named her dog Paul Anka, I think of this.

Paul Anka makes five main points in this pep-talk to his band:

1) He wants the band wearing shirts, not t-shirts.
2) Wearing t-shirts indicates to Mr. Anka that “a lot of loose shit is going on here.”
3) There is only one important person on the stage, and that person is Mr. Paul Anka. No one else is irreplaceable, including, as he says, “Jesus Christ.”
4) You fuckers will all be fired unless you straighten your loose shit out and get some “integrity” and “fucking character.” As Mr. Anka patiently explains: “Don’t make a fucking maniac out of me!”
and, most importantly:
5) “When I fucking move, I slice like a fucking hammer.”

And don’t miss the Paul Anka Haiku contest!