Leonard Koeppel

In my mom’s family, if you are dishing up food and you take a little extra from an adjoining piece, you will quickly be labeled a “Leonard Koeppel”. For example, if you are grabbing a slice of pizza and you accidentally get a little cheese and/or toppings from a connected piece, you would be considered a Leonard Koeppel. As far as I know, nobody in the family knows who Leonard Koeppel is or was; he is lost to history.

Think about that for a second! Oh, the notoriety! Here is a guy who lived and died and did who knows what in his life and his only legacy on this earth is stealing corners from other people’s food! How often would you have to do that in order for your name to become synonymous with the act? I don’t know who invented toilet paper, but I sure can tell you that that S.O.B. Leonard Koeppel would just as soon steal the corner of your pie as look at you!

How would something like that spread? Did he really steal corners so much that he was renowned through out the family or some geographic region for doing it? I’d like to think that he stole a corner from the wrong hombre who decided to begin a campaign of defamement and name bismirchment against ole Leonard.

So here’s to Leonard Koeppel, whoever he is, that any of us could have only half the fame and legacy that he has achieved.

8 things

I don’t normally do these things so I’m not tagging anyone with this because I want to break the chain, but I’m in the mood to comply with the demands of loyal reader InteractiveReader.

Rules: Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1) I played the clarinet in my tiny school band from like 4th grade to 6th grade or thereabouts.

2) I was a green belt in Tae Kwon Do. I was just about to test for my blue belt when my brother and dad got in their accident and then I started high school so I never really got back into it. I can still probably kick your ass though. 😉

3) In going with the “skills you didn’t know I had” theme, I was in the fencing club in college. I only did it for about one year and I never participated in any tournaments, but I did even own my own foil and everything. I gave it to my brother-in-law though.

4) When I am about to start a new book I pause for a second before opening the cover to savor that feeling of “I’m about to start a new book!”

5) I have two main skills in life: the first is an amazing ability to memorize words to songs even though I have the worst memory in the world and the second is the ability to read little snatches of books at a time. If I have a chance to read a sentence or two in a book, I take it! For some reason this drives Sara crazy, she thinks there’s no point in reading unless you can get a chapter in. I don’t know, it doesn’t bother me at all and I remember stories very well so I don’t have to go back and re-read or anything.

6) Speaking of being a weirdo about reading, when I was little I read like a kid possessed! I gave new definition to the term book-worm. I used to hide behind the couch so my mom didn’t catch me reading. Sometimes she would force me to go outside and get some fresh air so I would pretend like I had to go to the bathroom and throw a book out the window and then go outside and retrieve it and hide behind the garage and continue to read. When I ran out of books I would read anything including my mom’s old text books and even the backs of all the shampoo bottles or things in the medicine cabinet. I am not making this up!

7) I used to collect comics when I was a kid, mostly Spiderman, Amazing Spiderman and Spawn when that came out. I still have them stored away so I can be a millionaire when I grow up.

8) When I was little I had this blanket that I took everywhere, and I liked to chew on it. There are hundreds of pictures of me when I was little with that thing. There were actually a couple of them I think and I had them until I was pretty old. My mom couldn’t get me to forget about them so whenever she washed them she would rip off a piece until they got so small I kind of had to give them up. My mom is mean!

Okay, I know I’m done with my 8 things, but that reminded me of two mom stories! The first is that she used to cut my hair when I was little and one time she cut my ear! It probably wasn’t as bad as I remember it, but I still get a little nervous when someone cuts close to my ear with scissors.

The other thing is that one time when I was learning to drive my mom told me that she heard somewhere that if you see a box or a bag in the road you shouldn’t hit it because sometimes that’s how people get rid of unwanted kittens. Whaaaa?!? Why would you tell someone that!?! So now I have a pathological need to avoid any bag or box in the road even if I saw it just blow in and it couldn’t possibly contain kittens. But I just can’t risk it! Imagine the carnage!

Happy 50th!

Happy 50th birthday to my mom today!  Man, that’s OLD! 😛

Okay, I haven’t been blogging much lately, mostly because I’m lazy.  Also I’ve been gone a lot.  I’m still waiting for all that free time that’s supposed to materialize now that I’ve graduated from school.

Okay, so what happened lately.  Vermont is a cold awful hell hole and I can’t believe that people actually live there.  But we did go to the Ben and Jerry’s factory, so there was that.  There was an evening of rum punch and also there’s a ski resort close by named Smuggler’s Notch.  How can that not sound dirty?

I started working on my resume and I’m going to start looking for jobs soon.  Maybe nothing will come of it, we’ll see.  There’s very little chance I could get a job as good as the one that I have, unfortunately.  Philly’s cool and all, but I want to be back in the midwest where all the action is! 😛

Okay, this is kind of random, but a group of guys that I used to work with started a big wheel biker gang.

I think that’s all there is.  I thought I was going to have a lot more to say when I sat down to write this, but maybe not.

Floozies

Mom: I guess I have your approval, then?
Me: are you looking for it? 🙂
Me: of course you have my approval
Mom: well I don’t want you to think I’m a floozy