Sometimes, when you’re out and about, you see one lone plow pushing snow through the night. Old retired Bob, who packs a thermos of coffee in the dark and patrols the back roads, making sure the rest of us can get to work in the morning. I bet he wears a flannel shirt to stay warm and says things like, “You alright ma’am? Some weather we’re having tonight,” when he helps a stranger out of a ditch. Normally, plowing is a pretty solitary profession.

But every once in awhile, you see the four staggered plows cruisin’ Lake Shore Drive in formation like a bunch of fighter pilots and you’re like, “Oh shit, it’s the Delta Force!” These aren’t your average snowplow men. They mean business; perfect form, plow blades set at the perfect angle so they don’t miss so much as a flake.

::psssssht:: “Red Leader, this is Wing Man Omega. I’ve got a pothole on my niner.”
::psssssht:: “Copy that Omega. Engage evasive maneuvers.”

I can’t help but hear Flight of the Valkyries in my head. I bet they wear sunglasses at night and train for years in a secret federal snowplow training academy. I heard in order to get a spot on the Delta Force, you have to kill the snowplow man you’re going to replace in unarmed combat.

I wish I had a video to show you of these guys. It makes you want to put your hand over your heart.