CataCombo

Do you know someone who is really into music? Like *really* into music? Like would-rather-die-than-be-without their music?

Then I suggest CataCombo, the world’s first combination catacomb and music lounge. The casket contains a full sound system “tuned to the coffin’s unique interior acoustic space” for high quality, audiophile sound. Now you will have access to your tunes for all eternity. Literally. (No word on if this can be combined with the Kiss Kasket)

But wait! Upon further reflection this is a terrible idea.

First off, if you’re accidentally buried alive in this thing, nobody’s going to hear you. “Hey, is that Shane clawing at the ceiling of his grave, or just a fantastic bass line?” “I don’t know, but either way, let’s dance on his grave!”

Second off, the music selection can be remote controlled, “allowing friends and family to spare you a thought by adding tracks and keeping it up-to-date.” Absolutely not! The last thing I need is for my brother to clear out my playlist and replace it with Beiber for all eternity.

No thank you CataCombo! I’ll stick with the pine box after all.