going bald

Baldness

/ Shane / 4 Comments

My brother visited me this weekend, and while he was here I noticed a disturbing lack of hair on the top of his head. In fact, he kind of has like a blond spot on top combined with thicker, darker patches on the side, giving him a semi-unique look.

One of these guys is my brother

Now, obviously I’m not one to talk when it comes to baldness. But really, I see myself every day, so I don’t think much about my own baldness. This, of course, led to this picture:

Who's the baldest?

So I ask you, who has the most to worry about here?

The case against Nathan:

  • He is 5 years younger, and thus *should* have more hair.
  • His hair is longer, and thus doesn’t look as bald in the picture as it really is.
  • His hair is generally lighter, and his skin is generally darker, so the bald patches don’t show up as much.
  • His baldness is more diffuse, like a general thinning, instead of discreet and more drastic patches of baldness.

The case against Shane:

  • Look at that picture, my goodness.
  • There is an actual reflection on the top of his head from the flash.
  • His forehead (five-head) starts way over the dome of his head, half-way to his ears.

So, there you have it. Speak now or forever hold your peace:

Super powers

/ Shane / 5 Comments

I wish I had telekinesis. I would use it to push the cat downstairs and close the gate whenever she is meowing outside Evie’s door before 6 a.m. When I’m lying there wishing death on the cat, I think of all sorts of things I could do with telekinesis. I could sweep her out of the hallway, confine her to a room, put her in a little telekinetic box and squeeze her until she shuts up, give her a little push every time she meows until I taught her not to meow. The list is endless.

I really do need some superpowers though. I always thought it would be nice to have Superman’s heat vision so that you could clear the ice off your windshield in winter. I used to have the power to randomly get free cookies at any Subway, but I haven’t been to one in so long that I don’t know if that power is still functioning. I probably got that power by working at Subway for so long, kind of like being bitten by a radioactive spider, so it might get weaker and weaker the longer I work at a desk job. Or it could be controlled by the phases of the moon. Superpowers are complicated like that.

I always forget how bald I am until I see a picture of myself from the top. I was looking at one such picture the other day and I was quite amazed at the perfect little oval of hairlessness. Then it occurred to me! What if I am developing an invisibility power, and so far it only manifests itself over my head?

So look for me to be invisible in the future. (Well, don’t literally look for me, because I’ll be invisible) Anybody else have any interesting super powers?