So what’s going to be our “look”?

I was talking with my sister the other day about how seeing a picture from the ’70’s or ’80’s just immediately tells you the time period based on the hairstyles or the clothing. This is not really news, but it’s just interesting to me that every single guy in the ’70’s simultaneously decided, “You know what looks good? A moustache.” In the ’80’s, not a single person looked around and went, “You guys, we’re all dressed like buffoons.” How did the flannel industry keep up with demand in the ’90s?

It stands to reason that 20 years from now, people will look back on our pictures with the same mixture of hilarity and revulsion as I do when I look back on old pictures. I assume there will be certain hairstyles or clothing that will just scream “2000”, and schools will have “aught” day where everybody will dress appropriately. But what will that look like?

I think I’m probably too close to it to see what the patterns are.  I mean, I mostly wear jeans and a tee shirt. Will the people of the future look back and go, “Ha ha, jeans and a tee shirt, they didn’t even wear shiny metallic clothes back then! Losers!” People just dress…regular, you know? On the other hand, just like the people with teased hair and leotards in the ’80’s, I’m probably not the one who gets to decide what is going to look ridiculous. It’s like how everybody locks in on whatever music was popular when they were in high school, and then just continues to think all the music that comes after for the next 60 years is crap.

So what is the “look” of the aughts? Rachael and I came up with a few ideas:

The Barbwire Bicep Tattoo

I feel like the barbwire tattoo was the immediate successor to the famed “tramp stamp” period in the late ’90s. There are probably millions of these things out there, which certainly makes for a trend.

Nouveau Goth

I think this is the closest we come to a hairstyle of the aughts, but remember when suddenly every band was like a glittery hair band throwback?

Skinny Jeans

Is there any question that these are the modern day equivalent of bell bottoms?

Sagging

I don’t know exactly when this started, but I know it still continues today, so it’s outlasted quite a few other trends. How this continues to be a thing is beyond me, but so are all the rest of these.

Hipsters

I’m talking about the evolution of grunge combined with old timey moustaches. The big, thick nerd glasses, and the hair like you just woke up. And maybe a scarf (you know, for irony).

My sister pointed out that you know this is an epidemic when school teachers are using “I moustache you a question” on bulletin boards at school.

The Guido

Or “dudebro” if you prefer. That special combination of hair, tan, and muscle shirts brought to the forefront by the Jersey Shore. Sad but true, we may be judged by those idiots. I suspect there is strong overlap between this group and the bicep tattoo group.

Duckface

Really a subset of the above group, but referring more to the actual pose of picture taking. There are so many “duckface” pictures floating around on the Internet, that it’s a virtual certainty that future generations are going to think this is just what people looked like back then.

So, what did I miss? Hairstyles? Shoes? Anything else?

3 Things I used to think

  1. I used to think my dad was the WWF world wrestling champion.

    My dad told me that when he was in high school, he was the state champion. All I heard was “wrestling champion”. I thought that he beat Hulk Hogan AND Andre the Giant, and I told all my friends so. How else could you be a wrestling champion, if you never wrestled Hulk Hogan?

  2. I used to think my dad knew everybody in the world.

    I guess every little kid thinks things like that about their parents, but then again, my dad talks to anybody like he’s know them for 100 years. He would go in to buy milk and come back with the life story of everyone in the store. He still does this now; if anything, it’s worse. So after the 50th time or so you see some random person walking around and your dad just happens to know that his wife died 4 years ago and his oldest kid lives in Texas, where he runs a successful underwater basket weaving business, you have to either accept the fact that he knows everybody, or you have to acknowledge that he’s psychic. He’s not though, he gets his information the old fashion way: by talking your ear off. (Something I would never do, for the record)

  3. I used to think I knew all there was to know about fashion.

    I’ll wait for anybody who knows me to stop laughing. I remember being about 5 and giving my dad a lesson on how to look cool: Step one, you pick out socks with colored bands on top that matched your shorts. Step two, you pulled them up as high as they could go. Step three, walk around like the coolest cat in the neighborhood. Actually, that look probably was pretty cool in the ’80’s, so maybe I *did* know all there was to know about fashion back then. That would certainly have been the last time.