So the other day I went to the bathroom at work.  There is one stall and one urinal, so when I entered the bathroom at about the same time as another guy there was a little eye contact trying to sort out who was going to take the stall and who was going to take the urinal.  I don’t know the guy’s name but I recognize him from around.  Let me say that he is a regular looking guy, but fairly professional looking.  I only say this to point out that he absolutely knew I was there.

So I take the stall and go about my business.  After a few seconds the dude blasts out what can only be considered a marvel of modern flatulence.  As it continued on and on, I had time to reflect on it, and I named it “rolling thunder”.  It would just sound like it was going to die out and then it would start to build into another crescendo.  He managed this 3 or 4 times, in one long continuous symphony with no pauses.  When he finished and the final echos faded away, the sudden silence seemed so quiet.  Immediately my body tried to fill that silence with hysterical laughter and it was all I could do to fight down the urge.  We’re supposed to be adults here!  But it was hard to stifle it.

Now I have two theories on why this happened:

1) Sometimes when you are at a urinal and someone is in a stall, they freeze up until you leave, afraid to even shift for fear the rustling will give them away.  As if you don’t know they are in there.  Sometimes they only freeze until you flush or wash or make some other covering sound.  So maybe this guy was trying to send me a signal, like “Hey, it’s cool buddy!  I’m hip!  Blast away!”  You know, set me at ease.

2) He felt it inside and knew he had something special.  He could have gone back to his office and let fly, but then no one would ever experience the shock and awe.  He’d have no witnesses.  So maybe he decided to get it out where there would be someone to enjoy the performance.  Even if we never talk about it, he knows that I know and now he can sleep easy.

I guess we’ll never know, but having heard a true master at the craft I could almost shed a tear knowing I’ll never hear the like again.

Unless I keep training Evie in the tub.