EZ Cracker

Finally, something more worthless than the EZ Cracker

/ Shane / Leave a comment

I previously thought that no invention could ever be as worthless as the EZ Cracker. That was until I saw the Chef’n Bananza Banana Slicer:

Seriously, does anybody have a problem cutting up a banana? The knife doesn’t even need to be sharp. You don’t even have to use a knife: I cut them up with forks and even spoons all the time! And what is more difficult, slicing bananas, or cleaning between all those little blades on the device? I guarantee that takes more time.

Why stop there? Why not an Automatic Corn De-kerneler

Again, I’ve never really had a problem doing this quickly and efficiently with a knife. And furthermore, how often are you doing it in the first place? The best thing for removing corn from the kernel is my teeth! (Well, I think actually that Oliver’s teeth are the best thing from removing corn from the kernel…that boy eats corn faster than Grandpa Johnny!) (Not really. You’ve never seen Grandpa Johnny eat corn. But I digress…) I don’t know if this thing accommodates different sizes of corn, but I bet you spend more time wrestling with the thing, trying to get it working, than you do with the original “difficult task” of cutting the corn off with a knife.

Link via Sara.

The EZ Cracker

/ Shane / 5 Comments

Infomercials have been hawking useless crap to us since the dawn of time (for the record, I consider the invention of the T.V. the dawn of time). However, I think they have now reached an all time low. I give you, the EZ Cracker:

Thanks to the Tivo, I never see commercials, so I was blissfully unaware of this. Now that I am, however, have you ever seen a more worthless piece of junk?

Cracking eggs isn’t that hard. Certainly not worth paying for something to do it for you. But this contraption is so overly complicated, that cleaning it and maintaining it is most likely *more* difficult than the task it is intended to replace.

My favorite part of any infomercial, is when they show someone “struggling” with the task that this wonderful product replaces. It is always exaggerated to the point of absurdity. Therefore, my favorite parts of the infomercial are when people are just cracking entire eggs directly onto their counter top or stove, and then slopping them all over the place, instead of actually cleaning up the mess. That part makes me laugh every time. “Lord knows we’ve all slopped an egg all over our stove for no reason, am I right??” The only way the EZ Cracker would help solve that problem, is if it cured mental illness.

So who has one of the gems? I’m dying to use one.

Link via Sara, who says I never give her credit for giving me links.