Everybody says when you have a baby that you are not going to get enough sleep.  So far I don’t think I can complain too much, she has actually been sleeping really well, especially over night.  But last night Sara and I may have been a little delirious from lack of sleep (or, as Sara says, delirious from sleeping 3 hours in a row!)

First off, let me set the scene for this little play.  Sara started the whole confusion off by waking up to feed the baby and then forgetting to feed the baby, or even pick her up!  So she skipped right by that part and went right to the burping.

Sara: Shane, can you wake up and burp Evie?
Shane: Okay
::Shane begins patting Sara’s stomach::
Sara:  That’s me, not the baby!
Shane: Where is the baby?
Sara: In her bassinet.
Shane:  No!  No!  She’s in your lap!!

At this point I became very panicked because for some reason I was convinced that Sara was confused because she was tired.  I just knew that the baby was in her lap and she had somehow forgotten about her!  In reality I was the one that was a little confused.  So she is trying to roll over to grab the baby out of her bed and I am struggling like mad to keep her from rolling over because I am convinced that when she does the baby will fall out of her lap and on to the floor!!  And I keep trying to get through to her and remind her about the baby in her lap, but she keeps trying to get me to realize that the baby is in her bed.

Finally we both woke up enough to realize we were both coo coos mcgoos and then we had a good laugh over the whole thing.

So the other night I was changing Evie’s diaper at about 2 a.m.  I was too tired to go in to the changing station, so I was just changing her on the bed.  I put down a cloth just in case so she wouldn’t make a mess.  So just when I have her diaper off and her butt up in the air, she fires off a high-powered poop rocket through the air right over the edge of the cloth and across the 4 or 5 inches of the bed and right onto my foot!  It was like deadly accuracy from quite a distance!  And it happened so fast I startled but couldn’t really do anything about it.  She got me pretty good.  Sara was laughing so hard she couldn’t even support herself and had to lean over the bed.  Then of course I’m trying to balance on one foot in the bathroom while washing my foot off.  If you had been there you too would be amazed at the velocity and accuracy.  I don’t know what else to say about it.

She’s also managed to pee a full fountain stream on me when she had her diaper off, just before we were supposed to go to Target.  That time she distracted me by spitting up first and waiting until I was cleaning that up before she got me.  She is very sneaky that one.  I think maybe Sara isn’t changing enough diapers!

We had our first doctor’s appointment on Monday.  The doctor is really something!  She’s like an Asian tornado of whirlwind energy.  I really like her though.  She was concerned because Evie had lost a little more weight than she was comfortable with.  We had to set up an appointment to come back in 2 days and weigh her again.  So we were feeding her like crazy to make weight!  So we more than gained enough weight that the doctor was okay, but we kind of tricked her!  The nurse told us to feed the baby right before she was weighed, which we did.  But then right after we got her weighed and we were walking back out to the car, she spit up all over everything, Linda Blair style!  She just held it in long enough to count it on the weight and then it was out!  Good girl! 🙂

Okay, I know there is nothing about this that says I should like it, but I get Big Girls Don’t Cry by Fergie in my head sooo bad!  Particularly the line ‘I’m gonna miss you / like a child misses their blanket’  I just really like the song, and I can’t explain it.  Okay, I admit I like London Bridge and My Humps too.  I’m a terrible person.

Okay, so where was I?

So the nurse that we had for two days was named Eve!  So we took that as a good sign, but apparently we shouldn’t have because it took so long that she wasn’t even working anymore by the time we delivered.  We also did like the nurse we had for the actual delivery, Valerie.  She seemed very experienced and she was very encouraging.

But I’m getting ahead of myself!

So after 24 hours on the medicine there was still no progress being made.  We kind of wanted to go home, but we also didn’t want to waste the time we had already put in!  But it was very disheartening to have no progress.  So the doctors decided to try a different medicine to induce the baby.  This medicine took 6 hours to work, so once again we were waiting.  During this time we could see there were really good contractions happening on the monitor, even though Sara couldn’t feel them.  So we were very encouraged…but of course, almost no progress again.  The doctor said that she was encouraged by the tiny bit of progress and wanted to start Pitocin (medicine to increase the strength and frequency of contractions), but we weren’t as optimistic and decided to try another round of medicine for 6 hours.  At the end of that time there was a little progress, so we agreed to proceed with the Pitocin.  Then it was time for our second night in the hospital.  I’d like to say this night went a little better, but it really didn’t.  Well I think I probably slept more, but Sara slept about the same.  We had a very…vigorous nurse who insisted on many night time interruptions!  At this point Sara could kind of feel the contractions, but they didn’t really hurt.  Mostly I think we were just exhausted and disappointed.  This was certainly not how you expected childbirth to go!  And every time there would be something that would encourage us that things were moving along, but it always just turned out to be wishful thinking.

At this point they decided they wanted to break Sara’s water to get labor moving a little faster.  This was really probably the low point of the whole thing for us.  The doctors (this one in particular) were very pushy.  It was like, “You came in for an induction and we are going to have this baby by hook or by crook!”  I don’t know how you have a baby by crook, but we certainly didn’t want to have one by hook.  We were just kind of thinking that this was all a big mistake.  Obviously Sara’s body wasn’t ready yet for labor and we really didn’t like pushing it so hard to do something unnatural.  Also, our biggest fear was that we would push it too hard and would end up having a c-section.  So we had still been kind of holding on to the hope that maybe we would go home and try again some other time.  Breaking the water would obviously be the death of this hope, and we kind of felt like it was lighting a fuse…at the end of that timer, either the baby would be born or they would do a c-section.

But we let the doctor talk us into it against our better judgment (for the record, in retrospect, it was the right decision!) and saw an immediate difference!!  The first contraction right away was a killer.  All of a sudden, it was a whole different world.  It felt kind of good though (to me at least since I wasn’t having contractions) because for the first time it felt like we were making some progress.  45 minutes after the really bad contractions started Sara asked for an epidural and about an hour and 15 minutes later she got one.  I didn’t realize what a surgical procedure an epidural was!  There were like 4 needles, 6 different bottles of medicine, a cleaning, a draping and a decent amount of blood!  And through it all Sara is not allowed to move while she is having contractions!  Also, they let the med student do it so it took her a couple of tries to get it right.  We’re all friends here, so I will admit to you that I thought I was going to pass out.  I got really hot and sweaty and light headed and had to sit down.  I didn’t say anything to anybody but I think the nurse and maybe one of the doctors knew.  I thought that this didn’t bode well for the actual labor, but that actually went fine.  This was the only part that made me feel like fainting at all. 

Epidurals are like magic!!!  After seeing one in action, I can’t imagine why anybody would not want one.  One minute she was having awful contractions and the next minute she decided to take a nap!  It was pretty crazy.  I mean, mad props to anybody who goes without, but I’m telling you it is not worth it!  This was also good because Sara probably got more sleep after she got the epidural than she had gotten either of the previous two nights.  I was worried that she was going to be so tired from the whole ordeal that the actual hard labor part was going to be too much.  After they broke her water, every time they checked there was huge progress on the labor.  In no time at all Dr. Hearth came in and it was time to push.

So, after a short 62 hours, Evelyn was born!

Right at the end, Sara got a fever and they started her on antibiotics.  They told us that because of Sara’s fever, Evie wasn’t going to be able to stay with us; she would have to go to the NICU.  That ended up not being true though because the doctors saw that she was fine and she got to stay with us.  Sara’s fever went away right after delivery.  So right when the baby is born, Sara’s first words were a deadpanned “Oh wow.”  Kind of like the way you’d say it if you happened to be looking out the window and saw a cardinal outside.  Like sort of interested, but not really?  That really cracked me up!  It just seemed so inadequate!  Sara wasn’t the only one to say something dumb though.  A little later the nurse yelled at me because Evie had my finger in her mouth and I said, “Wow, she really sucks!!”  Anyway, I sort of forgot about Sara for a while because I went over to the other side of the room with the nurse to watch the baby get cleaned off, the werewolf test, etc.  Apparently Sara was struggling to see the baby so much the doctor was afraid she would strain herself! 🙂  They let us stay with the baby for a really long time before transferring us upstairs.

After you go upstairs they take the baby for a while to get all the measurements and stuff, but you are sort of relieved because then you can sleep!  It certainly wasn’t as nice upstairs as downstairs.  The nurses downstairs seemed like doctors, the nurses upstairs seemed like mothers.  And let me tell you, there was a lot of sass on that floor (mmm hmm)!  We certainly met a number of interesting characters.  So we had a “private room” which just means you aren’t sharing the room with anybody else, but also means that the father (that’s me!) can stay over night instead of leaving between 9 p.m. and 9 a.m. when visiting hours are up.  The baby gets to stay in the room with you the whole time.  So Evie had to stay for 48 hours until the labs came back saying she was okay regarding the fever Sara had when she delivered her.  Well apparently they were really short on nurses so they tried to discharge Sara the day before the baby was discharged!  For the most part we didn’t care about that because we didn’t really need a nurse for Sara or anything, but the crappy part was that they would have moved Sara to a non-private room which means I wouldn’t have been able to stay with her.  Well, Sara crying in front of a couple of people resolved that problem. So I got to stay. 🙂  The whole thing was pretty shady though, Sara’s doctor was kind of mad though because they didn’t even call her before they discharged Sara.   Obviously the doctor would have told them no way and then they wouldn’t have been able to do it.  Hijinks and shenanigans!  It was obvious they were trying to bring shade to our otherwise sunny day.  After that I felt kind of dumb though because everybody looked at us with like this pity in their eyes, like “It’s going to be okay, honey.” But I don’t want your pity, I want you to not be shady!  Oh well, it worked out.

So I think that’s about it.  Let me just say one more thing, about Au Bon Pain.  There was one in the hospital and I didn’t like leaving for very long, so I just ate at it continuously the whole time.  We had brought some food, but obviously we didn’t expect to be there that long.  I think I ate about 6 or 7 meals there!  It was really good, but I had only been to Au Bon Pain once before, and I think I’m pretty good now.  Not in a hurry to go back!