So what’s going to be our “look”?

I was talking with my sister the other day about how seeing a picture from the ’70’s or ’80’s just immediately tells you the time period based on the hairstyles or the clothing. This is not really news, but it’s just interesting to me that every single guy in the ’70’s simultaneously decided, “You know what looks good? A moustache.” In the ’80’s, not a single person looked around and went, “You guys, we’re all dressed like buffoons.” How did the flannel industry keep up with demand in the ’90s?

It stands to reason that 20 years from now, people will look back on our pictures with the same mixture of hilarity and revulsion as I do when I look back on old pictures. I assume there will be certain hairstyles or clothing that will just scream “2000”, and schools will have “aught” day where everybody will dress appropriately. But what will that look like?

I think I’m probably too close to it to see what the patterns are.  I mean, I mostly wear jeans and a tee shirt. Will the people of the future look back and go, “Ha ha, jeans and a tee shirt, they didn’t even wear shiny metallic clothes back then! Losers!” People just dress…regular, you know? On the other hand, just like the people with teased hair and leotards in the ’80’s, I’m probably not the one who gets to decide what is going to look ridiculous. It’s like how everybody locks in on whatever music was popular when they were in high school, and then just continues to think all the music that comes after for the next 60 years is crap.

So what is the “look” of the aughts? Rachael and I came up with a few ideas:

The Barbwire Bicep Tattoo

I feel like the barbwire tattoo was the immediate successor to the famed “tramp stamp” period in the late ’90s. There are probably millions of these things out there, which certainly makes for a trend.

Nouveau Goth

I think this is the closest we come to a hairstyle of the aughts, but remember when suddenly every band was like a glittery hair band throwback?

Skinny Jeans

Is there any question that these are the modern day equivalent of bell bottoms?

Sagging

I don’t know exactly when this started, but I know it still continues today, so it’s outlasted quite a few other trends. How this continues to be a thing is beyond me, but so are all the rest of these.

Hipsters

I’m talking about the evolution of grunge combined with old timey moustaches. The big, thick nerd glasses, and the hair like you just woke up. And maybe a scarf (you know, for irony).

My sister pointed out that you know this is an epidemic when school teachers are using “I moustache you a question” on bulletin boards at school.

The Guido

Or “dudebro” if you prefer. That special combination of hair, tan, and muscle shirts brought to the forefront by the Jersey Shore. Sad but true, we may be judged by those idiots. I suspect there is strong overlap between this group and the bicep tattoo group.

Duckface

Really a subset of the above group, but referring more to the actual pose of picture taking. There are so many “duckface” pictures floating around on the Internet, that it’s a virtual certainty that future generations are going to think this is just what people looked like back then.

So, what did I miss? Hairstyles? Shoes? Anything else?

Dancin’ Kim

Oooh, my friends. Have I got something for you. Allow me to introduce you to Totally Rad Dances with Dancin’ Kim. Prepare to learn the Thriller dance:

“So how completely awesome is the Thriller video? My friends and I are like totally obsessed. We’re all, ‘he totally topped the moonwalk’! It’s super cool.”

Oh. Em. Gee.

I was introduced to Dancin’ Kim through some unorthodox methods. It was actually linked to from a friend of mine’s website for his upcoming wedding. It was love at first sight, and I immediately went out and watched every Dancin’ Kim video I could find.

“Everybody at Danceteria is doing it. And you know who hangs out there. Madonna. So you know it’s super cool!”

I’m not really sure that Dancin’ Kim is really the right person to teach you how to pop and lock. Never more so than when she says the phrase, “This is the beat of the street with the freshest moves going down!” Yeeeah.

Oh, don’t stop there. By all means, learn how to dance like the Go Gos, how to do the Robot, and how to do the running man. You know you want to.

I think what my life is missing are Rad Friends. I mean, I have friends, but are they Rad Friends? Would I be able to call on them at a moment’s notice and have them submit to video taping some of the worst, most listless dancing the world has ever seen?

Okay, I know everybody in every decade always thinks this, but when we look back on today 30 years from now, it can’t look this ridiculous, right?

Missilebreak Outvaders

Friday is as good of a day as any for a time wasting flash game. In case you couldn’t tell by the name, Missilebreak Outvaders is like an ’80’s greatest hits mash-up of all the best video games: a combination of Missile Command, Space Invaders, and Breakout.

It’s kind of weird, since the games seem like they’re nothing like each other, and yet the combination works surprisingly well. Very enjoyable.

My high score is 150300. Can you beat it?