Quote Monday deals with the Olden Times

<Watching an old-timey, silent movie, with all of the old film artifacts>
Alex: “This is like the worst internet ever!”

Evelyn: “So you could only watch DVDs?
Sara: “Honey, we’re older than DVDs.”
Evelyn: “But what did you have then?”
Sara: “We had tapes. VHS.”
Me: “And when you were done you had to rewind the movie or they charged you!”
Sara: “Yeah and they had special machines that could rewind it for you.”
Evelyn: “If you didn’t have a machine, how did you rewind it? By…by hand?”
<Sara and I laughing>
Sara: “No, that would take a long time.”
Evelyn: “So like… Did you have to rewind it overnight?”

I couldn’t stop laughing during this entire discussion, but honestly it’s because the questions that she was asking were legit questions! I mean, how would she know? If you’re used to a world where you can stream any movie on demand, how is rewinding a movie by hand any more ridiculous than the whole idea of a movie on a tape to begin with? How would you have any frame of reference as to how long it took to “rewind” a movie?

Man, do kids make you feel old sometimes!

New story by me, out now!

Just an update to say that a new story by me, “John Henry Was a Steel Driving Man”, is out now in the March/April issue of Analog Magazine! (If you are not a subscriber, a digital issue can be purchased here, or if you’re lucky enough to live by a newsstand or book store that carries Analog, you can pick up a paper copy!)

My, it has been a long time since I’ve had an announcement like this, hasn’t it? I just looked back and I hadn’t had anything new come out in all of 2020. To be honest, I haven’t written much in the past year and a half, or so (mostly for obvious reasons). So here’s to starting 2021 off right, and I will say that I have a few more publications coming up soon to tell you about.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy my retelling of John Henry in SPAAAAAACE! As always, I am humbled to grace the pages of Analog (and never more so when I manage to slip in a story about unionizing!) (Unionizing IN SPAAAAAACE!)

Quote Monday is a dad-annoyance

<Sara watching school webinar while making dinner>
Alex: “Are they teaching you how to cook better?”

Me: “So you’re excited to go back [to in person dance]?”
Evelyn: “Yeah! I’m the oldest dancer in the class and everybody stares at me!”
Me: “And you enjoy that.”
Evelyn: “It’s the only reason I’m still dancing!”

Me, hugging Alex: “I’m so glad you’re my child.”
Alex, hugging me back: “And I am so glad that mommy is my mommy.”

Ollie: “Can you turn my light back on for a second?”
Me: <turns light on> “One one-thousand!” <turns light off>
Ollie, laughing: “Ugh, Dad, you are so annoying!”
Me: “It is a dad’s duty to make terrible dad jokes.”
Ollie: “That’s not a dad-joke, it’s a dad-annoyance.”
Me: “There is a very fine line between those two.”

Quote Monday lives fast and dies young

Ollie: “I know 7 bad words.”
Alex: “Oh I know WAY more than that!”

Alex: “I’m kinda if sad I gave you that check. I wanted to put it in the bank.”
Sara: “Oh, for college money?”
Alex: “No, that’s silly! To buy one of those things….hmmm… For when I’m a grown up? Um, what’s it called…it’s black….a coffin!”

::Alex doing a double take::
Alex: “Oh, for a second you looked like The Lord.”

Eventually we figured out “The Lord” meant “The Emperor” from Star Wars, which was perhaps less surprising (we did just watch Return of the Jedi), but…seriously dude? I’m only 41!

Quote Monday Celebrates Christmas

Evelyn, wistfully: “I can’t wait until I’m in college. I’m going to have a flat screen tv!!”
::Sara and I exchanging glances, knowing we had a 55 inch flat screen tv wrapped and hidden in our room for months::

Alex: “Plain black pants go with everything, but gray pants only go with a few species.”

Alex: “I’m trying to eat breakfast and then here comes Ollie and he’s like, ‘I don’t know what to get, so I’m just going to do a silly dance!'”
Me: “Yeah, Ollie is pretty good at distracting you.”
Alex: “Well, he does it because he loves me and wants me to be happy.”

Awww! This is both sweet and 100% accurate on all counts.