The Toot Hole

/ Shane / 7 Comments

When we were camping, there was a missing knot in the bench of the picnic table, leaving a hole. Evie asked what it was for and, because I take the “Calvin’s dad” philosophy of question answering*, I naturally told her it was for “toots”.

Let me back up a second and explain toots. We didn’t have any cutesy names for bodily functions when I was a kid, we called a spade a spade. When Evie was younger, Sara asked me what names we should use for things and I was like, “huh?” It just didn’t occur to me that you should make ups some silly phrase. It doesn’t make it any more polite people, talking about farts in the first place is what’s rude, not using the word fart. That being said, when Evie says “toots” it’s the darned cutest thing you could ever imagine the world.

So anyway, I told her the hole was for toots, not thinking much of it. The “toot hole” (as Evie called it) must really have captured her imagination. She went around telling everybody about the toot hole and spend a decent amount of time trying to toot on the toot hole. It wasn’t long before the origin of the phrase was traced back to me.

Time passes and I don’t think much about it. Then one day we were sitting out on the back porch and she said, “My red chair has a toot hole!” See, her chair is one of those plastic ones and it has a hole so that (presumably) the water can drain off. I had long since forgotten about the original toot hole and the fact that she remembered it took me by surprise. This brought another round of Evie doing her darndest to toot on the hole. Not as funny as the first time, since I now had the sinking feeling she wasn’t going to forget about this one.

Fast forward to this week. Evie and I were pretending to go camping, one of her favorite games. Evie was telling me a big story about her imaginary, fully-featured lawn chair. It was blue with yellow arm rests. It had all the features, cup holders, a thing to lie back in, and, of course, a toot hole.

Don’t say I never taught you nothin’ kid.

* I couldn’t find a good copy of the Calvin and Hobbs strip I was looking for to embed in this post, but you can see a grainy one here. It’s kind of hard to read, so I will reproduce the text:

Calvin: Dad, how come old photographs are always black and white? Didn’t they have color film back then?
Dad: Sure they did. In fact, those old photographs are in color. It’s just the world was black and white then.
Calvin: Really?
Dad: Yep. The world didn’t turn color until sometime in the 1930s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too.
Calvin: That’s really weird.
Dad: Well, truth is stranger than fiction.
Calvin: But then why are old paintings in color?! If their world was black and white, wouldn’t artists have painted it that way?
Dad: Not necessarily. A lot of great artists were insane.
Calvin: But… but how could they have painted in color anyway? Wouldn’t their paints have been shades of gray back then?
Dad: Of course, but they turned colors like everything else did in the ’30s.
Calvin: So why didn’t old black and white photos turn color too?
Dad: Because they were color pictures of black and white, remember?

Nusiance Cat, Part II

/ Shane / 4 Comments

Updating my previous post, since I blocked off the area Nala had been using as a toilet, Nala outsmarted me by simply climbing onto the next higher shelf and going bombs away from up there. The ironic thing is that the shelf she used holds diapers, meaning that 90% of her pee was absorbed by probably the best possible thing for absorbing urine.

So the bad news is, she’s still making an attempt to pee on my floor. The good news is, she’s sort of polite about it (even if by accident).

Why not go for 3 Evie centric posts in a row?

/ Shane / 1 Comment

“Cee Cee said I’m fat.”

Yikes, I’ve always heard it can be tough to be a girl, but I didn’t know they got catty so early.

The other night Sara was sitting on the couch and Evie noticed that, even though it was night, Sara was not wearing her pajamas. This was quite out of character for Sara, since she usually puts her pajamas on as early as possible in the evening. So this break in routine was very disturbing to Evie and she just started bawling, tears streaming down her face, “Mommy’s not wearing her jammas!”

She’s really been into puzzles lately (since she got that puzzle from you Anna) and she is getting really good at them. It is funny to watch her do them because it really gives you insight into how her mind works. She is good at looking for pictures to put together, like she understands that if you find two kite pieces, they go together. Sometimes she gets stuck though, because she can see, for example, that there are two pieces that are clouds, so they ought to go together. If they are two separate clouds that don’t go together, she can get frustrated. Also, she does puzzles so differently than you or I. She doesn’t pay any attention to the shapes of the pieces, she is only focused on the picture. So she will try to put an edge piece dead center of the puzzle, if the colors match up.

Sara: “I don’t feel good.”
Evie: “I don’t feel well.”

Holy grammar police. I told you she would be a blogger.

“Mommy, I wrote this in my blog”

/ Shane / 3 Comments

Today’s post is from a very special guest blogger.

evie's blog

Evie drew this picture and then said, “Mommy, I wrote this in my blog!” Ah, a chip off the old block. And if you’re wondering what sort of blog she would write, “the red things are creatures”.

Weekend with old friends

/ Shane / 2 Comments

What a weekend.

We were visited by some friends from college who we hadn’t seen in a long time. We hadn’t seen them for so long that we’ve had a kid since then and they’ve had two. It was great to finally meet Ayla and Jackson, and Evie had an absolute blast. Obviously she’s played with kids her age before, but the last time someone her age came to our house, she was too young to really appreciate it, or remember.

She was such a good girl sharing all her toys and things without complaint. It was adorable to watch her playing with Ayla and trying to hold her hand. I wasn’t exactly sure how she would react, but she was a perfect angel. I think she’ll probably sleep for a week. I guess it was fun to see Alexis and Gregory too. 😛

Mostly we just stayed around the house, but we did walk over to the garden and the farmer’s market. We took the train downtown to the aquarium, which was Ayla and Jackson’s first time on the train, and we (well everyone but me) hit up the jazz festival. I think we could have confined ourself in a padded cell and Evie would have still had a blast, but seeing the dolphin show was still pretty exciting.

Another highlight was when Jackson peed on my leg. I mean, I’ve been peed on (or worse) before, but it has been awhile (and it’s probably something you never quite get used to). I had seen him pick up a water-squirting bath toy moments before, so when I first felt the stream I didn’t even look over at him. That reminds me though of another one of Evie’s favorite parts, which was taking a bath with everybody. Every day she asked if they could take a bath with her again that night. Ayla and Jackson are much more rambunctious in the bath than Evie, who mostly just sits there and hates to get her face wet. I think Jackson in particular was quite a surprise to her.

The weekend definitely wore me out though. Alexis and Gregory are blessed by kids who sleep late in the morning, so staying up until midnight isn’t quite the hit to them! Evie hasn’t really been sad since they left, but she has mentioned that she wants to, “call Ayla and tell her I miss her”. She also said that when they leave, “I won’t be sad. I’ll just close the door and sit on my yellow chair and be lonely.”

So, all in all, a really great weekend and we all had a blast. We need to do it again soon. I really enjoyed having you guys over and actually hanging out with friends (something we never do!) I just wish you guys lived a little closer!

I think my all time favorite part of the weekend though, was when we got off the train at the stop right next to our house (you can see our place from the platform actually) and the conductor said, “Are you folks from out of town?” I said, “Some of us are, but we live here.” He replied, “Are you sure you want to get off here? This is kind of a rough neighborhood…”

Nothing like getting told your block is too rough for you.