The Gateway to Hell

/ Shane / 3 Comments

It turns out, there is a door to hell, right here on planet Earth. Specifically, in Turkmenistan.

Seriously, that picture does not fully represent how hellish the thing is, although it does give you a sense of the size of it. I urge you to take a look at this quick video (34 seconds):

The saddest thing about this place is that it is actually man-made. It turns out that geologists discovered the crater about 35 years ago. It was full of natural gas, so, naturally, they lit it on fire. (Were these geologists or teenage boys?) Nobody expected the gas deposit to be more or less unlimited, and it has burned ever since.

Am I crazy that I kind of want to see it, even though it looks so nightmarish? It doesn’t seem like something you’d soon forget.

Link via Sara.

How to break into a padlock

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(Click for larger)

Step 1: Starting at 0, gently pull down as though opening the lock, then slowly spin the dial counter-clockwise until it sticks. If the number is a whole number (i.e. not resting in between two numbers) record it, continuing the process until you reach 0 again. At this point you should have 5 whole numbers.

Step 2: Four of the five numbers will end in the same digit — the one that doesn’t is the last number in your lock’s three-number combo. Since certain numbers on a padlock are inextricably linked, this number narrows down the possible combinations to 100

Step 3: Trial-and-error out the combination grid linked below, and pull the lock open.

Life sentence via Thrillist.

Pittsburgh

/ Shane / 2 Comments

Last weekend we took a few days off and took a road trip to beautiful, sunny Pittsburgh. What’s in Pittsburgh you ask? Well lots of things, but in particular, friends. I had some serious flashbacks to the trip Sara and I took to Pittsburgh about 10 years ago (seriously? 10 years?), before we were even dating. However, there was something a little different this time: kids.

We had the first “are we there yet?” exactly 19 minutes into the 9 hour trip. All in all though, she was actually really good in the car. We made plenty of potty stops and even planned a picnic / park stop for lunch, so we broke things up as much as possible.

Since we took so long getting there and going home, that we only had 2 days in Pittsburgh. So it was mostly a low key trip. We did manage to hit up Primanti Brothers, ride the Incline, and the National Aviary, as well as do some shopping. Evie enjoyed the Aviary, but she was a little panicked about the birds flying around free in the walk-through areas.

Evie, crying: “I don’t want to see real birds, I want to see pretend birds!”

According to Evie, the best part of the trip was “playing with the bath toys”, which I definitely believe. For her (for all of us) the trip wasn’t really about what we did in Pittsburgh, but about visiting friends. She had SO MUCH FUN playing with Ayla and Jackson (who she found quite hilarious). She had been looking forward to taking a bath with them ever since she took a bath with them when they visited us. I would have to agree as well, my favorite parts of the trip were when we were just joking around at night about whatever; minute to win it, baby names, Step Up 2: The Streets, anything.

There was one part of the trip that was particularly memorable. I was taking a shower, when I heard the door open and 3 year old footsteps enter.
“Mommy?”
“No.”
“Daddy?”
::getting nervous due to the rustling at the shower curtain:: “No…It’s Shane.”
::ripping open the shower curtain:: “Hi Shane!”

I’m not the first person to learn that 3 year olds aren’t so great at privacy.

The way home was roughly the same as the way out. It was raining in the morning, but it finally cleared up in the afternoon, so we took a side trip to South Bend to hit up a park. This little side trip ended up being pretty interesting. First off, I got to passively pump gas and watch the police try to rouse a homeless guy who was…well, let’s just say he was never going to be roused by a policeman again. Afterwards, we took a delicious detour to the South Bend Chocolate Company. The food was awesome, but the place was bizarrely empty. It worked out well for us, however, since the place had a big indoor playground and we were the only ones using it. The structure was pretty awesome, except for the stuffed demon monkey statue thing perched on top of one of the tubes. The thing freaked Evie out so much that she wouldn’t go inside without me. I can’t say I blame her. Who puts a stuffed demon monkey statue, complete with sharp teeth in it’s screaming mouth, on top of a kid’s playground? Brilliant design decision.

So anyway, all it all a great trip. Being forced to make stops and take the trip there and back slowly ended up being something of a blessing in disguise. It was kind of nice to be able to stop whenever and feel no stress. Evie is already asking when we can go back, and making plans for what we will do when we go.

Quotes, except on Tuesday

/ Shane / 1 Comment

Shane: “I’m really looking forward to…”
Sara: “No. There is nothing to look forward to. Ever.”

Evie: “My ear feels better, it’s not squirting blood anymore.”
Well, she did have a pretty bad ear infection…

Evie, preparing to read a story: “Okay, everyone, turn off your cell phones!”

Evie fell down and skinned her knee a little bit. She was perfectly fine at the time, but I promised her we could put on one of her special Hello Kitty band aids when we got home. So, of course, she ran the rest of the way home perfectly fine, but the second the band aid went on, she was instantly struck lame with agony.
Evie, crying: “Carry me!”
Shane: “I’m going to take off the band aid. Did it help you heal?”
Evie, relieved: “It healed right up, just in time!”

We even have a quote from someone other than Evie this week:
Alexis: “Do you want a pretzel?”
Ayla: “Put some chocolate on it.”
Alexis: “I’ve never heard of such a thing!”
Ayla: “It’s brown and it tastes good.”

Evie: “Can you carry me?”
Shane: “No, we’re very close.”
Evie, crying: “But my bones are getting stronger by walking!”

What a horrible dad I am, improving her bones. In fact, “Daddy is mean!” has been something of a battle cry around the house lately. She has been proclaiming that to anybody who will listen, even though she, “can’t think of any examples.”

Sara: “Is Daddy a nice daddy?”
Evie: “Yes, he is…n’t”

The EZ Cracker

/ Shane / 5 Comments

Infomercials have been hawking useless crap to us since the dawn of time (for the record, I consider the invention of the T.V. the dawn of time). However, I think they have now reached an all time low. I give you, the EZ Cracker:

Thanks to the Tivo, I never see commercials, so I was blissfully unaware of this. Now that I am, however, have you ever seen a more worthless piece of junk?

Cracking eggs isn’t that hard. Certainly not worth paying for something to do it for you. But this contraption is so overly complicated, that cleaning it and maintaining it is most likely *more* difficult than the task it is intended to replace.

My favorite part of any infomercial, is when they show someone “struggling” with the task that this wonderful product replaces. It is always exaggerated to the point of absurdity. Therefore, my favorite parts of the infomercial are when people are just cracking entire eggs directly onto their counter top or stove, and then slopping them all over the place, instead of actually cleaning up the mess. That part makes me laugh every time. “Lord knows we’ve all slopped an egg all over our stove for no reason, am I right??” The only way the EZ Cracker would help solve that problem, is if it cured mental illness.

So who has one of the gems? I’m dying to use one.

Link via Sara, who says I never give her credit for giving me links.