Quote Monday

/ Shane / 2 Comments

Evie, calling Florence on her nail clippers: “Florence wasn’t there, so I left her a message. Her message is, ‘After the tone.'”
(She likes to use this big pair of nail clippers like a phone because it flips open like a flip phone)

“When Oliver’s bigger he might have autism or not. ‘Cause you know why? We got a book from autism from the library.”

::Sara comes into the room::
Evie: “I don’t think I did something naughty.”
Eventually, Evie took Sara to where she had hidden her credit card in an Elmo container, behind her chair.

Me: “I saw a boy with his soccer outfit at the farmer’s market.”
Evie: “Perhax they came right from soccer.”

Bad Dad

/ Shane / 2 Comments

The monitor volume button must have gotten bumped last night, so this morning the volume was completely off. Therefore, I missed my usual wakeup call at 6:42 when Evie starts hollering that the butterfly lights are on. I was snoozing blissfully until 7:30. I woke up and blinked sleepily at the clock. “Why is it 7:30?” I asked Sara. Puzzled, I picked up the monitor and discovered the sound was off. When I turned the volume up, I heard Evie mournfully sobing, “Please come soon, it’s been a long time!”

Oh man. I tell you, I felt about as bad as I have ever felt. This poor girl had been calling for me for about 45 minutes and I wasn’t coming. The butterfly lights had already been on and then turned off by the time I got down there. I don’t think I’ve ever not come before, so she was probably very worried and confused. I asked her several times why she didn’t come upstairs and wake me up (she has done this on other occasions), but she said she was afraid to come out of her room. Double guilt trip! Nothing gets to me more than when Evie says she’s afraid of the hallway or the monsters in the laundry room, etc.

I tried to make up for it with extra hugs and stuff, but tonight when I was putting her to bed, she said, “Don’t forget to come when the butterfly lights are on!” making me feel awful all over again. She also kept repeating, “I didn’t forget to call you when the lights are on, I won’t wait until they are off.” She’s obviously very worried that I will forget again tomorrow.

It’s funny how such a small thing can make you feel so bad!

I can’t seem to shake them! They must be heat seeking!

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Tell me that wouldn’t be a lot of fun!

Link via Urban Prankster.

What’s on your butt?

/ Shane / 2 Comments

Sometimes, you are just bone tired. Any parent can relate to this. However, your energy-factory toddler just can’t imagine being anything but hopped up. So as soon as I saw the title of this article, I was hooked.

Fun Toddler Games That Let You Relax; How to entertain your child while lying down.

Now that’s my kind of article! Unfortunately for our children, Sara and I are sort of low-energy parents. So most of these games came as no surprise to us. For the most part, we have our own variations on these games. However, game #5 stuck out. That was certainly one that I had never thought of before:

Game #5: What’s on Your Butt?

Position: Lying down with your eyes closed.

What your child will love about it: Butts.

What you will love about it: The roar of laughter that accompanies anything having to do with butts.

I recommend playing this one in your child’s room or wherever she keeps her toys. The participating parent lies face down on the bed and closes his eyes while the child finds an interesting object to place on the parent’s butt. Keeping his eyes closed, the parent guesses what’s on his butt. Your child will enjoy giving you endless clues in between peals of laughter from seeing Elmo or Barbie or her toothbrush riding your backside. This activity may last for a very long time as children rarely tire of seeing their parents with stuff on their ass.

Source: “What’s on your butt?” was invented by my genius husband on one of those mornings when we were cheerfully awakened by our sleepless child at 5 a.m.

That is pure genius.

Any other parents have games like this that can contribute to my laziness? (Yes, we’ve already covered timing her as she runs up and down the hallway)

S#!t my kids ruined

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Husbands aren’t the only ones who can ruin things.

Oh no, anyone with kids can confirm, they are world class stuff ruiners. So it was sort of inevitable that someone would come up with a webpage to allow parents to share their misery. For example:

Ruined my Chair

Ruined my Cat

My personal favorite is the Desitin twins, but I couldn’t embed the picture unfortunately. It’s worth a look.

They are very liberal in their definition of “ruining”, for example, “ruined my appetite” works. Anybody have pictures of their own? So far, we’ve been fairly fortunate (now there’s a jinx if I ever heard one!)

Link courtesy Sara? I can’t remember.