Quote Monday knows Grandpas are trouble

Grandpa Tom: “I don’t want to get in trouble when mama comes home.”
Evie: “We can run away and never come back!”

Grandpa Johnny: “You seen one pair of [breasts] you’ve seen them all. Right girl?”
Evie: “Right!” – You just can’t beat wildly inappropriate advice from Grandpa Johnny.

Evie: “Issue! Someone has to lift me over Luna.” – Someone’s got to raise these issues.

Dan’s skydiving instructor: “You start screaming ‘No No No’ it sure the hell sounds like ‘Go Go Go’ to me, and I’m going to say rock on! Let’s do it!” – I wasn’t even there, and I think this guy might be my new hero.

We were picking apples, and Evie was eating them right off the tree. She really liked them. ALL of them.

Evie: “The apple was so good, I forgot about the core!”

Awesomeness Reminders

I am awesome. There can be no question. However, if you catch me at a low moment, I might forget for a second that I am awesome. In that case, I might need a little reminder of how awesome I am.

Enter Awesomeness Reminders.

For the low price of $10 a month, the service calls you every day to tell you that you’re awesome. You can even provide a custom message that you want the person to say. For an example of what the call sounds like, just scroll down to the “Can I hear a sample phone call?” section in the FAQ.

This is certainly a good idea in terms of starting a business. $10 a month isn’t so much to spend (the website points out that it is less than a movie ticket), and it’s probably not a lot of work for the guy to make the calls. And why not sign up? Anybody can use a reminder of how awesome they are.

Captain Planet’s 20th Anniversary

Can you believe it’s been 20 years since Captain Planet debuted in 1990? Way to make me feel old.

Well, it’s time to start gearing up for September 15, 2010, or “National Captain Planet Day” as I like to call it. There is a website and everything, so you know it is official. You’re going to especially want to check out the retro videos from the original Captain Planet launch, including Mayim Bialik from Blossom and Jodie Sweetin from Full House talking about how excited they are about the show.

You know, I guess i was on the older side for Captain Planet. I remember even at the time thinking, “This is kind of heavy handed in the lessons department for me.” But I still watched it and I still liked it. And I can still sing the song, these 20 years later.

“EARTH!”
“FIRE!”
“WIND!”
“WATER!”
“HEART!”

“Go Planet!”

“By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!”

Captain Planet, he’s our hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero

He’s our powers magnified
And he’s fighting on the planet’s side

Captain Planet, he’s our hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero

Gonna help him put asunder
Bad guys who like to loot and plunder

“You’ll pay for this Captain Planet!”

We’re the Planeteers
You can be one too
‘Cause saving our planet is the thing to do!

Looting and polluting is not the way
Hear what Captain Planet has to say!

“The Power is Yours!”

Link via Sara.

Voice

Voice is something that a lot of authors and writing teachers spend a lot of time talking about. I’ve even talked about it before.

However, I recently came across some posts by author/teacher James VanPelt about teaching voice that are about the finest posts on the subject I’ve ever seen. I am going to reproduce some of it below, but please see the original posts here, here, here and here. The part below is taken from the first one.

Basically, the question is, how do you develop voice? Well, that is the million dollar question. But Jim has some real concrete tips that I think are worthwhile:

– Put the writer on a linking/helping verb diet. No more than two to a page, say. By forcing writers into action verbs, you also force them to make specific choices. Not, “The day was nice,” (argh!), but some sentence based on an action verb that shows a nice day, like “Children laughed on the jungle gym.” There’s a zillion ways that “the day was nice.” As soon as writers choose a way to show it, they choose among the zillion. Their choice marks the beginning of voice. Distrust an overuse of am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been.

– Put the writer on a passive sentence diet. Here I mean the grammatically passive, the silliness of “The ball was kicked by John,” or my favorite, “My eyes were opened by me.” I’m not sure why passives creep into so much school writing, other than writers will put the effect in front of the cause because they see the effect first. Students will also commonly leave the cause out altogether. The passiveness of “The law was debated,” “The discrimination was done,” “The punishments were taken” infect their writing with unattributed actors performing faceless deeds.

– Outlaw “very,” any pronoun ending in “thing,” most of the “ly” words, and for crying out loud, don’t let them use a broad generality without having earned the right by piling up enough specifics first. The student who writes, “We shared everything,” can only say so after a solid paragraph of what they shared. A list that includes a vinyl collection of Vivaldi, turn of the century tea cozies, an appreciation of the Dutch masters, and a fondness for truffles stands miles away for the “everything” they shared if that list includes bootleg compilations of garage/punk/techno/emo mp3s, metal windup toys from 1950’s television shows, temporary tattoos done in henna, and a secret vice of fried pork rinds dipped in warm velveeta.

This is all advice I’ve seen sprinkled around elsewhere, but something about this list really struck a chord with me. I don’t know if it was his particular examples or what, but it makes sense. Most people say something like, “Don’t use passive voice” but he explains why you shouldn’t and how it will help your voice if you don’t.

Thanks Jim! (even if you don’t know that you helped)

Milk

When Evie was younger, the doctor wasn’t happy about her weight. This is well documented on this blog. The doctor insisted that she needed to be drinking more milk.

We tried everything we could think of to get her to drink milk, and she just wasn’t interested. However, we didn’t want to push it and force her to drink it, which would result in her hating it. No big deal, we thought. She likes drinking water and we didn’t want to discourage that. We just made sure she got calcium in other ways, such as vitamins morning and night and encouraging her 3 yogurt a day habit.

“Not good enough!” shouted the doctor, “She has to drink MILK! Milk, milk, MILK!” “You know, people haven’t really been drinking milk all that long in the grand scheme of things,” replied Sara, “What did they do before there was milk to drink?” The doctor replied sweetly, “They were all malnourished and died back then.”

Quite frankly, we didn’t buy it. And now our strategy has paid off. Evie chugs milk like it is going out of style. It’s gotten to the point that we get tired of filling her glass, and tell her she can’t have any more. That’s right, we’re actually restricting her from drinking milk! Whoever thought we’d get to the point that she would actually cry because she couldn’t have milk?

It can be hard as a parent to do what you feel is the right thing to do, especially in the face of opposition from your doctor. However, I feel (in this one case at least) completely vindicated by this turn of events. A short-term weight gain does not out weigh a long-term childhood love of milk.

Take that modern medicine!

(By the way, she still calls it Outback Milk)