Google Searches, Part III

/ Shane / 1 Comment

Periodically, I like to round-up some of the strange things that people search for in google that land them on my blog. Certainly I get plenty of normal searches, but there are always a few that leave me scratching my head. Sometimes I can think of the post that might have caught their attention, sometimes I can’t.

  • “wheelchair broom” – No idea what this means. Is it a broom for cleaning off a wheelchair? Why would such a thing exist?
  • “pictures of chicken in the shape of fish” – Maybe they’re looking for some kind of ad campaign? I can’t fathom what on my blog could have registered on this one.
  • “whale with a jelly fish on its head” – I’m intrigued by this one, I might have to perform my own search on it.
  • “Jackie P—– psychopath” – Okay, this one cracked me up. Certainly I know the Jackie in question (name blanked out to protect the innocent), but I don’t think of her as a psychopath! Obviously somebody does…
  • “olympic jelly fish” – I’d pay to see jelly fish Olympics
  • “reasons not to like the dentist”  – Ah, I love it when I have a satisfied customer!
  • “nun skin” – YES! I finally got a hit on nun skin!
  • “a person who smells like a cat” – Yeesh, I hope I wasn’t the one they were looking for. They did end up on my blog…is there something you guys aren’t telling me?
  • “farting in the bathtub” – What did they hope to find? Video? Why did they find me? Oh wait, a quick search did reveal a post. Very well. But I still don’t know why they are searching for it.
  • “supernatural shane” – Of course I have talked frequently about the show Supernatural, but I’d prefer to think of this one as someone who refers to me as “Supernatural Shane”.
  • “you’re not a fox you’re a weasel” – Score! A fellow dog trainer!
  • “bacon wrapped mashed potatoes” – Uh, kind of hard to wrap mashed potatoes with anything. Although if they found a result, I’m all for it.
  • “gateways to hell on earth” – Now I happen to have a post on this, but I want to know what else they found? Was this a serious search, like “I’d like to find all of the gateways to hell on Earth for my own nefarious purposes…”?
  • “hungarian honeys” – All the hot XXX hungarian honeys you can imagine! That’s practically why I run this blog! Truly, I should have just named the thing Hungarian Honeys.

Materialism

/ Shane / 10 Comments

The American culture of disposable materialism seems worse every single day. It’s probably been getting worse every day more or less since the country was founded. So it’s not surprising that the older generation (of which, for the sake of this post, I apparently am a member of) would always see this going on and be disgusted by it. So I think it is safe to say that I am not the first parent to see this going on and object to it. Especially since people, as a rule, probably object to materialism in themselves very rarely. So it’s more when you see it happening to your kids that you notice it. After all, I want nice, shiny, new stuff as much as the next guy.

So all that being said, ho-ly crap! (and I mean crap in the “tons-of-stuff-we-don’t-really-need” sense of the word) If Evie continues to accumulate stuff at the same rate that she has thus far in her life, she will need a separate house to contain it all. And lets not kid ourselves, she’s not going to continue at this rate, she’s going to double it. Triple it. After all, she’s not even old enough to really want anything yet.

Evie just started preschool. I remember when I started kindergarten. There were two things that were particularly awesome to play with at my kindergarten: a parachute, and a set of giant cardboard blocks that looked like bricks. These toys were so great that you could get a fist fight or two, just by mentioning them. I wanted to play with those bricks so bad, I was willing to bleed.

Evie has both of these for her own personal use, a parachute and a set of blocks like that. Evie has her own slide.

That was part of what made school cool to me at that age. They had the toys that no individual person could possibly own. Now there is no such toy. In fact, kids today are probably like, “Why does school have all these lame, really old toys? They don’t even talk.”

In all of the time we’ve been reading the Little House on the Prairie books, I am always struck with how little personal possessions they had, and how happy they were. I understand this is a fictional account, but I can’t help but feel that it was a better time. Laura Ingalls had more love and appreciation and happiness out of a little rag doll than most kids do out of an entire mountain of toys.

How can I inspire that kind of appreciation in my kids? How can I fight an entire culture?

Sara and I try to do what we can. And of course by that I mean that we bought her said slide, parachute and set of blocks. Because the problem is, we want her to be happy, and buying her things is such an easy way to accomplish that. In the short term. And don’t think I’m letting myself off easy for my role in all of this either.

The real question is, what the heck are we going to buy Oliver? Before he was even born, he was set to inherit all the toys, clothes, books, etc. that he could ever need. Not to mention all of his own random stuff he’s going to accumulate through life. We can’t not buy him presents for Christmas or something. But I honestly don’t want to. He doesn’t need any more stuff. Neither of them do.

I hate not having a choice about this.

An Ode to Rick Steves

/ Shane / 1 Comment

Though awkward seems to be thy major trait
Appearing with the visage of Bill Gates
And foreign words thou seem to mispronounce
Huge glasses thy misfit status doth announce
It must be said thou never lead astray
A lonely traveler with little cash at hand
Thy book a pilgrim’s bible to the world
Where and when it’s worth to spend a day
Which restaurants and sites are bland or grand
And where head upon a pillow safely curls

‘Twas Italy where first we learned to trust
The walking tour of Rome which was a must
We quickly learned to check with thou before
We even set one foot out yonder door
In England books of thine were in demand
A thief who broke our window just to steal
And left us in distress without your aid
Since all the trip upon the book was planned
Forlorn and nearly ruined by this ordeal
‘Til the guest house’s copy we managed to persuade

And now with trip to Paris looming near
No other guide’s advice would we now hear
When traveling through far and foreign land
We know we are kept safe in adept hands
From shortcuts in the Louvre to look and leave
and tips on what to buy to skip the lines
To spaces for the kids or fine cuisine
We wouldn’t know what to do without Rick Steves
We know that our vacation will be fine
And Evie even gets a guillotine!

(Special ode formatting thanks to Ode to a Grecian Urn by John Keats)

Backstory Cafe

/ Shane / 3 Comments

Given that I did a big write-up a while back about Robust Coffee Lounge, I would be remiss if I didn’t give a shout out to the Backstory Cafe.

Backstory is a really cool place. It’s cozy, it has great coffee and the decor is cool. They are environmentally and socially conscious. They even feature a used book store section! They have sandwiches, pastries and sometimes even brunch. Some of my favorite features are the giant chalk boards (this is definitely Evie’s favorite part) and the outdoor seating area that is walled off by old, different sized and colored doors. I almost forgot, live music, film screenings, etc.

In short, what’s not to love?

The place is very well hidden, so I am always surprised at how busy it is. I don’t think I’ve ever been the only one there. It’s close to home, and Evie loves it. It’s so easy to take a great place like this for granted (hence me just getting around to writing a post about it). It hasn’t even been open that long, but it is already a part of the local landscape. I say that as a compliment.

Now, since I did write that review of Robust, I can’t help but compare the two. However, they really are totally different. I would say if I’m looking to sit back and relax for a while, then I prefer Backstory. However, if I wanted to just run in and grab a coffee to go, then Robust is the way to go. Robust’s seating area is bigger and more open, so it might be better for big groups.

So if you are looking for a most excellent hang out spot in the neighborhood, come and find the Backstory Cafe and Social Center. You will be glad you did!

Quote Monday Surveys the Damage

/ Shane / 1 Comment

Me: “What do you think mommy will say when she finds out we had the same thing for lunch as she did?”
Evie: “She’ll say, ‘What the heck?'”

So, I guess it’s time to cut out that phrase. It could have been worse, obviously.

::Sara and I walking down the hall::
Evie, from the bathroom: “Is there a dinosaur walking out there??”

Geez, thanks a lot kid!

::I was asking Evie how her first full day of school went::
Evie: “Did you cry when I was gone daddy?”
Me, hiding a smile: “No, I didn’t.”
Evie: “Oh. Some daddies cry when their daughters are gone.”

Evie: “At the beginning, you just want to poke your nose all the time. Didn’t you feel like that when you were a kid?”