One morning I woke up and my victory mustache was gone. Its work was done, and it rode off into the sunset, like the Lone Ranger.
My brother’s ‘stache, on the other hand, decided to hang around. It has since morphed into something a little different:
So, if you see Snidely Whiplash skulking around tying women to train tracks, it’s probably just my brother. Please return him to me. In the meantime, don’t try to transport any money by train, and beware old-timey piano music. That is all.
Me: “And what would you say if she asked you for one that you wanted?”
Evie: “I would say no!”
Me: “Well, that’s not being a very good friend.”
Evie: “No thank you?”
Mom was playing cards and Evie was looking at her hand. Mom had 3 Jokers.
Evie: “How much money do we get?”
::Looking at a picture of Grandma Butterfly::
Evie: “She could not have all of those kids!”
Sara: “Well, she did.”
Evie: “She must be really old. Older than daddy.”
Oliver’s fortune cookie: “You are able to analyze objectively and express yourself clearly.” – You would be hard pressed to find a more ill-fitting fortune for a baby.
Evie was doing algebra today. No, seriously.
She was writing things like A + B = 3, and B + B = 4. At one point she was even working on R * 2 = ?
And if you don’t believe me, let me explain. She decided that every letter was worth a number, A = 1, B = 2, C = 3, etc., and she could do math with the letters instead of the numbers. If that’s not the definition of algebra, I don’t know what is.
On the other hand, I like to believe it’s her first foray into cryptography…
I previously thought that no invention could ever be as worthless as the EZ Cracker. That was until I saw the Chef’n Bananza Banana Slicer:
Seriously, does anybody have a problem cutting up a banana? The knife doesn’t even need to be sharp. You don’t even have to use a knife: I cut them up with forks and even spoons all the time! And what is more difficult, slicing bananas, or cleaning between all those little blades on the device? I guarantee that takes more time.
Why stop there? Why not an Automatic Corn De-kerneler
Again, I’ve never really had a problem doing this quickly and efficiently with a knife. And furthermore, how often are you doing it in the first place? The best thing for removing corn from the kernel is my teeth! (Well, I think actually that Oliver’s teeth are the best thing from removing corn from the kernel…that boy eats corn faster than Grandpa Johnny!) (Not really. You’ve never seen Grandpa Johnny eat corn. But I digress…) I don’t know if this thing accommodates different sizes of corn, but I bet you spend more time wrestling with the thing, trying to get it working, than you do with the original “difficult task” of cutting the corn off with a knife.
Link via Sara.
It seems as if Oliver’s knowledge has just exploded in the past few weeks. After sticking with a few good words for so long, he is suddenly acquiring language so quickly, that it is hard to keep up. I’ve tried to compile a list of all the words he currently uses, but it seems like as soon as I put the list down on paper, he learns a few more.
So I tried to be very conservative in my list, and only include words that he uses often and obviously understands completely. He has a lot of words that he has said just a few times, or that he repeats after you, but has not used independently. So those I didn’t include. He also understands about 100 times more words than this, but I think that’s pretty normal.
So, the list as I currently know it:
I almost want to count “hot” twice, because he understands two separate uses of the word: when he ate something spicy, he pointed to his mouth and said, “Hot!”, and also said it when I took something out of the microwave.
In addition, he has 4 new teeth, 3 of which are molars. His other molar is looking like it won’t be far behind. Having a molar come through seems like it would be so painful, but he doesn’t really seem to be bothered much by it (other than potentially causing some sleep issues, but that’s another post altogether!). He doesn’t even seem to want to chew on things, other than food, which he has always chewed with abandon.
As a side note, he must be the only kid in the world who won’t eat cut up fruit, only whole fruit.
He’s sitting in the booster seat at the table now, instead of in the high chair, and took to eating with utensils pretty easily. Although he hasn’t exactly mastered it, it seemed to go much better with him than Evie. Maybe that’s just because he loves to eat so much, especially compared to her. They both were pretty good at using a regular cup.
He looks so grown up sitting there in the chair with a spoon in hand! He’s our little polite boy, wiping his face after a bite, and wiping any drips up from the table. On the other hand, he still inexplicably dumps his milk in his lap, just to see what will happen, and he loves to put his fork or his food in his milk cup. Still, overall, pretty good for a one year old!
Shane Halbach 