My So Called Life

Insomnia

/ Shane / Leave a comment

So I’ve been having mild insomnia lately. I walk around all day so exhausted that I can hardly stand up and then when it comes time to go to bed, I just can’t. So I end up staying up until 2 and then getting up at 7 again the next morning and starting it all over again. This might not seem that bad, but seriously nothing like that has ever happened to me before!! I mean this is the guy who had to get tested in a hospital for narcolepsy and sleep apnea in high school on account of all the sleeping, including a little problem I have of falling asleep while I’m driving. The sleep study found that my average time to fall asleep is under a minute. No matter how much stuff has ever been going on in my life, its lights out as soon as I hit the pillow.

Okay, had to take a timeout because my cat that was sitting in my lap apparently got fed up with my typing and just sank her teeth in my arm and held on! What the fuck? She got a nice bath with the spray bottle. I’m changing my mood icon.

So anyway…I don’t know if it’s because of the wedding, all the school stuff, the stuff going on at work, or because I’ve been thinking about Stacy so much lately. Maybe I’ve screwed my body up good with the weightless thing. (Side note, lost 7 lbs. this week for a total of 21 in 4 weeks!) Maybe the work with the night school is just getting to me…maybe I just need some time to relax.

Speaking of class, I think did well with the presentation tonight. One more class, then a week off!

I still don’t know what to do about the work situation. I had meetings with both sides today but neither helped make up my decision. Both sides paint the other position as being really unstable. I know it’s just political crap. I hate it. Right now I’m leaning towards going downstairs though, because they stuff they are working on is really cool and they have tons more development coming up than we do upstairs.

I felt lonely tonight, but only for a little bit because I didn’t really have time to be lonely. I’m really glad I’m going to get to see Sara already this weekend. I can’t imagine how great it’s going to be when she actually lives here. Oh wait, yes I can, when we were in college I saw her everyday all the time. 😛

Oh yeah, I just remembered! I think we’re going to be able to go see Jesus Christ Superstar this weekend! TOO EXCITED!

I’ve had some lame mardi gras, but this might take the cake. 🙂 I should think of something to give up for lent. Before tomorrow.

Again, it’s time to go to bed and I’m getting more awake by the second. I guess I have no choice but to go lie in bed and stare at the ceiling.

Boo.

What to do, what to do

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Life decision making time! There’s a lot of back-story on this, and I don’t know how much I want to get into, but basically I had agreed to take this position working with my old Tech Lead and my old cube mate working on new PC GUI development. Those two people are probably my two best friends that I have out here, so as far as who I’d be working with it would be great. Also, the work they are doing is perfect for me. So I had agreed to take this job and then all of these shady shenanigans went down and I ended up not being able to get the job. It was basically a power struggle between my boss and the boss downstairs, with me caught in the middle. So I didn’t get the job. At that point I was just glad to be done with it, because it was getting quite ridiculous. Since that time every person higher than me in management stops by my desk like once a day each to tell me I should stay where I am. My manager has even told me that if I stayed around I could be “a big guy” on an upcoming project. Of course there’s no talk of giving me any more money, even when they were trying to keep me from leaving. Also, whenever I talk to any of the tons of people that I know that work down there, they always tell me disturbing news about budgets running out, lack of direction, etc. The program that I’m on is much more stable. Oh, and just to add one more wrinkle to the whole deal, my manager is leaving to take another position and my other best friend out here has an inside shot at the manager position. Anyway, I was glad that the decision was taken out of my hands and I didn’t have to worry about it anymore…oh wait. 😛 Now they say they have an additional head of funding and they can take me for the job after all. Sooooo…now I’m screwed. On one hand I feel like I had already decided that’s what I wanted to do and it’s the same job with the same people, so I should go do it, right? On the other hand, now that I’ve had a much closer view on the inner workings of things downstairs it seems like maybe I don’t want to go down there after all. They’re so disorganized and unstable…I’d hate to go down there and then have the funding be taken away for the project or something, and then I’m sunk. Also, the manager downstairs has apparently been fighting to get funding for me for months, so I’d kind of feel bad if I was just like, “Nevermind!” I know that shouldn’t matter in my decision, but still. For the record, I love the job I have now and the people I work with, but I just don’t know how much upcoming work there is going to be.

So anyway…I’ve got to come up with an answer by Thursday. I know both jobs would be a good fit for me and I know they both are tugging hardcore on me to go to their respective positions. ::sigh:: I just wish I didn’t have to make a decision this week, with my big presentation for class tomorrow and my final on Thursday and then driving to NC on Friday!

I’ll keep you posted. (Get it? POSTED! 😛 )

5

/ Shane / Leave a comment

I don’t know when, if ever, my exhaustion has been so cumulative.

Like a kid with a new toy…

/ Shane / 1 Comment

…I’ve got to post every 10 minutes. Don’t worry, it won’t last long.

I was just looking up people from back in the day who used LiveJournal. I was surprised to see that some of them still post now and again! It prompted me to contact Stevie and Linda, who I used to be good friends with but now I haven’t talked to them in years.

I got to tell you it’s been really tough being on here. Makes me think about Stacy a lot. Maybe that’s why I don’t talk to Stevie and Linda anymore. Stevie was a great friend, I hate losing touch with people.

Such is life…

My Cat

/ Shane / 1 Comment

My cat is driving me crazy today. I tell everybody that I have the loudest cat there ever was and everybody says, “Yeah my cat is really loud too.” Which only proves they really don’t understand. Then when they actually meet my cat they say, “Holy crap, that’s the loudest cat ever!”

She wakes me up over and over again in the morning because she needs constant attention. I’ve had dogs my whole life and they never demanded as much attention as this cat does. I thought cats were supposed to be independent??

Don’t get me wrong, I love the cat, but sometimes after I get home from work after a long day I just need 10 minutes of peace and quiet. You should be able to have that in your own home.