My So Called Life

Confessions of a Compulsive Sleep Arranger

/ Shane / 5 Comments

Alright, let me start by saying none of this is actually my fault. And I’m not really crazy, as you will soon see. But lately it has come up that I have a bit of a bedtime ritual. It wouldn’t be a big deal, except for the fact that Oliver is sleeping in there, and I tend to wake him up. I wouldn’t really say it is a compulsion; I don’t freak out if I miss a step or something. But it just takes me a little while to get the bed situated in the optimal configuration for sleeping.

  1. All of the sheets and blankets have to be straight. Not like perfect laser-straight lines or anything, but I want the hems at my feet and neck. This isn’t just fussiness or something, I have a legitimate reason for this! I am tall! You shorter people might not realize, but if the sheet is at any kind of angle or anything, my feet will stick out of the blanket, and that drives me crazy. It would be perfectly fine if my sheets could stay tucked in, but that’s another story. And I’m sure as heck not making my bed.
  2. I can’t sleep with socks. I just can’t. Those have to come off.
  3. I have super dry skin, and nowhere is worse than my feet. I get shivers thinking about how my scratchy heels catch on the sheet as I slide them in. Ugh! So, after the socks come off, lotion goes on. My feet sitting down there just…being dry is worse than wearing socks. It’s like wearing skin-tight, sandpaper socks.
  4. Probably because of this, or because of bad experiences with scratchy wool blankets, I can’t stand touching the blanket with skin. So the sheet has to be covering me first, and then the blankets can go on top. This goes back to #1; feet out of all the blankets is the worst, but feet out of just the sheet and touching the blanket is the second worst. DON’T get me started on flannel sheets. ::shudder:: The worst of both worlds.
  5. Right now there are a couple of extra complications. We aren’t using a big comforter because of Oliver, so instead there are several smaller blankets (it’s too blasted cold for only one blanket). This means that each layer has to be arranged properly. And with Evie in the picture, all those blankets are spread to the 4 corners every day, so by bedtime they’re in complete disarray (and not tucked in!).
  6. Ah, the bed is finally prepared! Now, on to the pillow! I’m a pillow flipper. Big time. So the pillow has to be flipped at least once, always, to ensure maximum coldness. If I wake up in the night, the pillow has to be flipped every time. I don’t think this is a big deal, except if I can’t sleep. Then I flip the pillow so much that both sides get hot, making it even *harder* to get to sleep. In that case, I’m not above getting an auxiliary cold pillow so that one can be cooling on the floor and ready to go. I should note however that I almost NEVER have trouble getting to sleep, so this isn’t really a problem.

There are a million other little things too. For example, I am in charge of bringing the baby monitor in and plugging it in at night. This usually means after I get into bed I realize I forgot the monitor somewhere in the house. So I have to get back up, get the monitor, fumble around on the floor in the dark for the plug, then get back into bed (which always requires a little rearranging). Then, of course, I have to sit back up and move the monitor because it is facing in such a way that the giant green search light led is pointing right at my face and I can see green when I close my eyes.

So, I can see how it might have turned into a sort of a ritual, and it might be annoying to some people. However, I have very good reasons for all of the steps, and there really aren’t that many. Quite honestly, I don’t see how people could NOT do these things. Who wants their feet sticking out in the cold? Who wants dry, sandpapery feet sliding all over the place? Who wants blankets that end up in a big pile, so one part of you is too hot and the other part is too cold?

Not this guy, that’s for sure!

The Sing Off

/ Shane / 4 Comments

I have a confession to make. I don’t watch Glee. It’s not because I don’t like acappella. In fact, I *love* acappella. I’ve even blogged about it before. It’s because I don’t have time to watch T.V.

Or so I thought.

Because now I’m watching The Sing Off (Mondays and Wednesdays on NBC). Who’d have thought that if I were going to watch a limited number of t.v. shows (a VERY limited number…like 4), that I’d include a reality show with the same, tired out, ripped-off-from-American-Idol format. And I haven’t watched a reality show since the 2nd season of The Apprentice.

There’s probably nothing that could make me watch that. Nothing at all except for the fact that they installed Ben Folds as one of the 3 judges. So I was going to watch no matter what.

Despite my misgivings, I am really enjoying the show. There are 3 factors that I hadn’t counted on:
1) The American Idol format works. People keep ripping it off because its effective.
2) I’m a Ben Folds fanboy even more than I thought.
3) Nobody can resist good acappella. It crawls in your ear and tugs at the corners of your mouth until you either smile or your head explodes. The human voice is amazing; it is an instrument like no other.

The thing that really strikes me (compared to other shows in a similar format) is the judging. Most (all) of the reality shows in this format have the most worthless comments from the judges, usually stating that each performance is the most amazing performance ever performed by anyone anywhere. The credentials of the judges is usually dubious at best.

In this case, the judges are the aforementioned Ben Folds, Shawn Stockman (Boyz II Men), and Nicole Scherzinger (winner of Dancing with the Stars and lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls). So obviously Shawn Stockman knows a thing or two about acapella harmonizing, and Nicole Scherzinger knows about singing and also about winning reality shows in this format.

So it would seem that Ben Folds would be the odd man out. What experience does he have? Well, aside from displaying an amazing knowledge of musicians and musical history, he does tend to have a lot of 4 part harmonies in his songs. He also has his own acappella CD, Ben Folds Presents: University a Cappella!, although he didn’t do the singing himself. But he obviously has an appreciation for the art.

So the amazing thing is the insightful, in-depth comments the judges give to each performance. They point out things I never would have noticed. Sometimes they still start with the “ohmygoshthisissoamazing” stuff, but then they roll into a pointed, sometimes rough criticism of the piece. They certainly don’t just give everybody a pass.

So, long story short, I’m enjoying The Sing Off a lot more than I expected to. I think there are about 5 groups left, and they are all pretty awesome, so it’s not too late to start watching. If nothing else, you can watch my man Folds lay some awesome critique without being too mean. Then we can debate over stuff, like who got robbed and who’s totally going to win.

Everything is coming up Christmas (and Chanukah)

/ Shane / 4 Comments

We had a very, very busy weekend, but it was a really good weekend. Well worth it!

On Friday, Oliver and I went to a Chanukah party at Evie’s school. The party afterwards was fun, but for me the best part was going to temple. I had never been inside the temple (any Jewish temple), and I was very curious. It was so much fun! My favorite part of the day was seeing all the kids spinning like dreydles while singing the dreydle song. We definitely never had that much fun at church when we went for school!

At the party they got wooden dreydles and some chocolate gelt, so Evie and I played dreydle at home. It was a lot of fun, and simple enough that Evie could understand, even though she couldn’t spin the dreydle very well. Unfortunately, we eventually will run out of gelt, since she keeps eating it (we didn’t let her eat it all at once).

In an interesting dichotomy, Saturday morning we went to see Santa. Well actually, first off, Evie and I made oatmeal and danced our butts off to Christmas music. There are actually two radio stations in Chicago that play only Christmas music, so we had our choice. The funny thing about listening to Christmas music on the radio is that you’re constantly saying, “Didn’t they just play this song?” They all sort of run together after a while. But it certainly put us in the Christmas mood.

So anyway, they tried to have some sort of holiday celebration in the neighborhood with all day crafts, lights, etc. The only part we were interested in was seeing Santa, since we usually have to drive way out to the suburbs or something, fighting big crowds, crying kids, and barely escaping with our life. So we showed up to the restaurant listed, camera in hand.

Now, I’ve been to that restaurant before, and I wasn’t really sure where they were going to put Santa, or how it was going to work. It was as sort of claustrophobic and disorganized as I feared. Also, they tried to push their “Christmas brunch” on us, and when we said we were only there to see Santa, they charged us $5. Oh well. Between that and the parking, it was still well worth it to see Santa in the neighborhood with a very limited wait.

Evie was a little nervous about Santa. It took us two tries to get her up there. I had to agree to stand with her, but when she got up there she went on his lap without me. She was too shy to talk to him (and anyway, she couldn’t think of anything she wanted, which I take to mean that we are the best parents ever!). We assumed that Oliver would sob his eyes out, since he’s been going through a mommy-only (and-very-occasionally-daddy) phase lately. However, he just stared at Santa with huge round eyes the whole time, and never cried once. I think he was just like, “What is this crazy talking beard thing??”

Overall, everything went about as well as possible. As far as Santa goes, he was ho-ho-hoing like there was no tomorrow. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him jollier. By the end of the day, his throat must have been raw.

The ironic thing was, we ended up spending the rest of the day shopping in the suburbs anyway. I don’t know how the rest of the neighborhood festivities turned out. It was cold and snowy, and outdoor crafts seemed a little much. Maybe we’ll give it a try next year if they do it again.

Evie and I also found time to play in the snow for awhile, and we made a nice (read small) snowman in the front yard. Afterwards, Sara made us some hot cocoa (and Sara’s homemade hot cocoa is to die for!)

On Sunday we put up our Christmas tree. We have an artificial tree, so we left the bottom row of branches off, so Oliver can’t reach up and topple the whole thing. It actually looks pretty good without the bottom row (and more room for presents!). We also hung up the stockings and replaced Evie’s butterfly lights with Christmas lights. Evie was really excited about all of this, but eventually lost interest and I decorated the tree alone. She gets pretty excited about the Christmas tree though, and she’s upset that we don’t keep it lit 24/7.

Sunday night, Evie and I had a sleepover. After supper we both got ready for bed and then put our sleeping bags out in the family room. We watched a movie and, in a bizarre twist, Evie wanted to watch an Elmo potty video. So, not only was there not a plot per say, but she’s already seen it, and the whole thing is set up to convince you to use the potty, which she has been for a long, long time. She didn’t care though, she loved it. She said to me, “If there is a scary part, I can hide in my sleeping bag.” Not a lot of scary parts in Elmo potty videos!

Afterwards, when we turned out the lights and we were whispering and giggling, she said to me, “Daddy, you’re my best friend.”

Unfortunately, the night went downhill fast. Evie was really sick and she was having trouble breathing through her nose. She was waking up every 30 minutes or so. Finally, around 11:30 or so, she woke up with a really tight chest and a croupy cough.

I gave her some medicine and broke out the humidifier. We moved into her room so she could sleep in her bed, and the humidifier would be more effective. I slept on her floor for the rest of the night, and it seemed to go a little better after that. However, it was a disappointing end to our special night. It’s always hard to see your kids sick.

However, the sleepover was still the highlight of a very nice, very busy weekend. I didn’t even mention the part where Oliver managed to cut his finger on something and crawled around in the kitchen for like 20 minutes afterwards, spreading blood on about every surface he could manage, including his, my and Sara’s clothes! He didn’t seem to mind though.

So, except for that, it was about all you could ask from a December weekend!

Death wants me bad

/ Shane / Leave a comment

I had a Final Destination* moment today.

I was taking a shower. I set the shampoo back on the little shelf that hangs off of the shower head. Somehow the shelf had slid out a little bit, so my shampoo caused a chain reaction knocking all of the other bottles out the back of the shelf and down to the tub. One of the items, a tube of face wash, landed squarely on the lever that controls the water temperature, knocking it to scalding. It then promptly wedged behind the lever, hindering my attempts to turn the water temperature down.

What did I do to piss off death??

*For those of you who haven’t seen Final Destination, it’s a movie about people who get off a plane just before it is going to crash. Because they escaped Death, he comes back for them in the form of the most elaborate, over-complicated (and easy to stop) scenarios the writers could come up with. In Death’s defense, I’m sure he gets tired of taking all the texting-while-driving car crash victims and saw this as his one opportunity to have some fun.

Caffeine Content

/ Shane / Leave a comment

The amount of caffeine in various items came up the other day, so I looked it up and was sort of amazed at what I found. I am including a table below of common items with caffeine. I found the table here, which I admit is not the most scientific site, but I double checked the figures against at least 5 other sources (this one had the best table). None of them are exactly the same, but that makes sense. For example, every type of coffee is going to be slightly different. So these seem to be in the ballpark of everything else I found.

Interesting things that I’ve learned since I started looking into this stuff:

  1. Decaffeinated coffee has a non-trivial amount of caffeine (this chart lists it as lower than other sources).
  2. Teas don’t list caffeine as an ingredient because they’re naturally caffeinated…decaffeinating them is the unnatural thing. (Okay, that one I knew already)
  3. Caffeinated teas are far less caffeinated than coffee. They actually don’t have a lot more caffeine than decaf coffee.
  4. The type of tea has a huge impact on how much caffeine they contain (this one makes sense, but I was surprised at the difference)
  5. Chocolate (especially dark) has a LOT of caffeine, and is a much bigger deal than tea (You know you’re not eating 1 oz at a time!).
  6. A glass of chocolate milk has a not-insignificant amount of caffeine!! No wonder your kids are crazy.
Double espresso (2oz) 45-100 mg
Brewed coffee (8 oz) 60-120 mg
Instant coffee (8 oz) 70 mg
Decaf coffee (8 oz) 1-5 mg
Tea – black (8 oz) 45 mg
Tea – green (8 oz) 20 mg
Tea – white (8 oz) 15 mg
Coca Cola (12 oz can) 34 mg
Chocolate milk (8 oz) 4 mg
Dark chocolate (1 oz) 20 mg
Milk chocolate (1 oz) 6 mg
Ben & Jerry’s Coffee Fudge Frozen Yogurt (8 oz) 85 mg