If you look a gorilla in the eye, the gorilla will take that as a threat. You do not want a gorilla to feel threatened by you. Therefore, you may want to keep a handy pair of Gorilla No-Threat glasses:

“Earlier this month at the Dutch Rotterdam Zoo, an eleven year old male gorilla named Bokito escaped and ran rampant through the Zoo’s food court, injuring a woman when he bit and dragged her some distance. Now, health insurance company FBTO is distributing eye-contact disguising glasses that allow zoo visitors to stare all they like, a behavior that is threatening to most of the great apes.”

Am I the only one that thinks these would be useful in other places besides the zoo (much like the pain cave from yesterday is useful in a variety of circumstances)? Some cultures consider direct eye contact inappropriate. Some cultures consider sleeping during business meetings or lectures inappropriate. And some cultures even consider ogling bikini babes inappropriate. Bikini babes who might feel threatened by your ogling and might be inclined to rip your face off, much like a gorilla. “No, no!” you’d shout, “I’m just staring off into space idly. Something up and to the left caught my eye. No threat! No threat!”

Gorilla No-Threat Glasses…saving lives.