Making a Murderer

Okay, I’m just going to address the elephant in the room and say that I do not know Teresa Halbach. It seems exceedingly likely that I am related to her (there cannot be that many Halbachs in Wisconsin) however I don’t know my Grandpa’s side of the family very well, and I don’t know any Halbachs in Manitowoc.

Does anybody in the family know how we are related to her? Aunt Sue maybe?

For those with no idea what I’m talking about, Netflix recently released a show entitled “Making a Murderer” about the murder of Teresa Halbach up in Manitowoc. Apparently everybody in the world is watching it, and I’m getting about 3 or 4 messages a day asking me if I’m related. Even worse, there are a significant number of people who just assume that we’re related, and are not bringing up this show to me because they’re worried it’s an upsetting topic.

The show is AMAZING and everybody should absolutely go and watch it immediately. I admit that I haven’t finished it yet (this baby has really put a cramp in our tv watching, let me tell you), but it is one of the most enthralling things I have seen in a long, long time.

I have to admit, every time someone says “Halbach” or it shows “Halbach” on the screen (about every 30 seconds or so), it throws me. Double that since it’s small town Wisconsin. Every interview, every recorded phone call sounds like my relatives from up nort’. It is like watching the twilight zone, or like someone made a documentary just for me. Freaking me out, believe me.

But the show itself is insane. Look, every documentary I’ve ever known anything about has been complete and utter bullshit. I absolutely assume this one is the same. I know they are trying to make it look like Steven Avery is innocent (or at least leave some doubt in your mind), and I don’t for one second lose sight of the fact that it’s a documentary and they are trying to shape a certain story. I’m sure they are leaving things out. Despite their best efforts, Steven Avery does not strike me as a guy I’d like to be friends with.

But all of that aside, O.M.G. this story. Manitowoc, I am looking some serious side-eye at your policing up there, geez o pete. Even if Steven Avery is guilty as sin, that does not in any way detract from from the absolute disaster of the way this case was handled. Even if Steven Avery is guilty, it’s not hard to imagine someone who isn’t guilty getting railroaded the same way. Brendan Dassey, for starters.

Anyway, everybody in the world is watching this show, and for good reason. Go watch it. Then come back here and talk about it. No need to worry about bringing up a sore subject.

The Best Photographer in the World

I had mentioned previously that we had shipped our kids off to a friend’s house while Alex was busy being born. It just so happens that that friend is the best photographer in the world, and we had already arranged for her to take pictures of Alex in the hospital. So it worked out perfectly that she was able to capture the kids meeting Alex for the first time!

This is just a sample of the pictures, but I don’t think I need to tell you how pleased we are with them because you can see them for yourself. They are so wonderful, and such a great documentation of that day.

Sara and I take a lot of pictures, and we know our way around a camera. But there is absolutely no contest between what we do and what Erielle does.

Erielle also took family portraits of us not too long ago. I posted these on facebook, but not on the blog. What is interesting to me is that these pictures are a totally different style than the pictures of Alex. I like how Erielle is able to capture more than just the image. She really puts the *emotion* into the picture. You can see the excitement as the kids go to the hospital, and the tenderness as they meet Alex for the first time. In the family portraits you can just see Ollie’s goofiness, or Evelyn’s sweetness, or just some sort of something that shows the soul of our family.

You just don’t get that sitting in a JC Penny’s.

When Sara and I got married, we spent a significant portion of our wedding budget on our photographer, because it was so important to us. To me, pictures are so much more than a souvenir: a good photo is a memory and a work of art all rolled up in one. It’s a window into that moment in your life, but a window opens out onto something much, much larger. It’s not just documentation that you’ve been there, but it’s all of the sights and sounds and thoughts and feelings and everything that lead up to that one moment in time. Well worth spending money to do it right.

I can’t tell you the number of compliments we’ve gotten on these pictures. More than one person has pulled me aside to tell me how much they enjoyed them, including one person who said, “These are the best family portraits I have ever seen.” (I’m biased towards the subject matter, but still!)

Who wouldn’t want to hang those on their wall?

Here are some of my favorites (you can see many more pictures of us on Erielle’s photo blog here)I would unabashedly recommend Erielle Bakkum Photography to anyone looking to get photographs taken, of babies or of anything else. She is wonderful to work with, and knows how to get the most of out kids. She knows how to frame a shot, she knows how to make the camera do what she wants it to do, and she knows how to edit the pictures afterwards. The results, quite frankly, speak for themselves.

Alexander’s Birth Story

Alexander’s story kind of starts out like the beginning of a tall tale:

“Alexander was born in a snowstorm. Some say he was the size of TWO babies….”

The legend of Snorty Pig. No sign of a blue ox yet.

I was just so absolutely sure that Alex was going to be born the week of the 14th. As it crept closer and closer to Christmas, I really started to worry he would be born on Christmas Eve and we would end up missing Christmas morning with the kids. After we made it to Christmas day, it felt like a huge weight just lifted off my shoulders.

Then it was the 26th…the 27th…the 28th…nothing. When someone is significantly past their due date, one thing you don’t want to do is keep asking them how they’re doing or if there is a baby yet. Sara was fielding like a text an hour at that point, but there simply wasn’t anything to report.

I went to work on Monday, and the weather was just terrible. Slush and ice, strong winds, just basically a nasty winter day (something we haven’t had a lot of this year). Around 1:30 Sara called and said, “I’m not sure, but I think you better come home.”

By the time I got a train home and got the kids packed up and shipped off to a friend’s house, she was a lot more sure and we left immediately for the hospital. (Side note: Sara’s parents were standing by, but we didn’t want them to travel all the way to Chicago in the storm. Surprise, Erielle! Two extra house guests for the night!)

We walk out in the cold and snow to go to the car and, I kid you not, someone had their car stuck in the snow, blocking the parking lot of our building. What are the odds of that?? I went over to help push the guy out and I thought, “this guy is never going to believe me”. However, he was doing a pretty good job getting himself out and I decided it would be quicker to let him do his thing then stop to explain “you’re blocking my car and MY WIFE IS IN LABOR” (although I guess it would have been a good story for that guy to tell).

Finally, we made it to the hospital at about 5:20. Unfortunately, so did everybody else. No room in the inn: every room was full, including triage, and there was literally a line of people waiting to get into labor and delivery.

However, to be quite frank, I’m really not sure what all those women were doing there. They were just chillin’ in wheelchairs, checking their phones or whatever. Sara, on the other hand, was in all-caps LABOR.

The rest of them were made to wait outside in the waiting room, but they told us to stay inside the doors so as not to “scare” the others. It was probably for the best, since it meant that Sara spent the worst hour and a half of labor holding onto the wall a couple of feet from the check-in desk. I think it really gave them a little extra…encouragement to finally find us a room.

Sara kept repeating two things to anybody who came into the room:

  1. My right foot is broken
  2. With both of my previous children it took over 2 hours to get an epidural; let’s see if we can do better this time, shall we?

Despite various snafus due to the overcrowding, they did manage to get her an epidural about an hour after we got into the room (we’ll just forget about that hour and a half in the hallway), and things got a lot easier after that. Even though it took another 4 hours from that point, there was always progress, so it seemed like time was moving relatively fast.

And then it was time, and 10 minutes later (!!!) Alexander was here!

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Now, with both of the other kids we found out the sex before the baby was born, but this time we didn’t. We have all the girl stuff and boy stuff, so we figured we were covered either way (in other news, looking forward to finally getting rid of half of all of that stuff!) (Scratch that, 2/3rds — most of it is girl stuff.)

Having done it both ways, I have to say, I much prefer to know. “It will be a surprise!” everybody always says. Yeah, well, it’s always a surprise, whenever you find out. One minute you don’t know, and then the next minute you know. Surprise!

I found the biggest downside of not knowing is that we couldn’t officially settle on the name, and we didn’t have a pronoun to call the baby. “It’s going to be so cute when it’s born, isn’t it?” just seems wrong and saying, “your little brother or sister” every time is a mouthful. So I just didn’t feel as much of a connection to the baby before it was born.

I guess it was a surprise when Sara said it was a boy, but at the same time there was a lot going on just then (too much for them to comment on the sex, I guess). I was feeling very emotional anyway, and I don’t know that I really registered much of a surprise in the moment.

What definitely did surprise everybody was how big he was. 10 lbs 2 oz. and 21.5 inches.

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That was about a full pound bigger than we had expected based on his last ultrasound, but I have to say I’m glad about that. If they had realized how big he was going to be, they probably would have pushed for an induction (or even worse, a c-section). But they didn’t know, and what they didn’t know didn’t hurt them!

So Alex was here; our big baby in a snowstorm.

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Finally it was time for Evelyn and Oliver to come and visit.

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Were they excited? Well, you could say they were.

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I’m sure there will be more updates as they come, but expect them to be in fits and starts as our lives find their new levels.

(Note that the last two photographs come from our lovely photographer / surprise babysitter Erielle…more on that in a couple of days.)

Allow me to introduce you to my son: Snorty Pig

I cannot tell you how many times I have looped this video.