I should have made him grovel

So, the FedEx guy threw a package over our fence. This is not news. A delivery person NOT throwing a package over the fence would be news.

But this time he forgot to scan the package before he threw it over the fence, so he had to sheepishly wait for me to come out and get the package and bring it back for him to scan.

Sara said I should have withheld it and taken a picture of him and the package, but I wasn’t that cruel.

(Except now I kind of wished I would have.)

Evie’s Cat Update

I was secretly excited to see that Evie had moved Snowball into a prominent place in her bedroom. “But why is she facing towards the books instead of out into the room?” I asked.

“Because I’m embarrassed about the face”, she responded.

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Now, nobody wants to hear that someone is actually embarrassed by their handiwork, but I was certainly glad she told me. I knew she was unhappy with the face, but I think it was about the best I could do at my skill level, and I actually thought it looked kind of nice with those happy, anime-style eyes.

In any case, I made the cat for her, and it would be foolish to ignore her opinions on the matter. So I ended up taking out the eyes and mouth. Evie decided to keep the little pink dot on the tip of the nose.

She says she likes it better with no face, but I haven’t seen it turn up anywhere since then. Luckily, that’s about what I expected, so it wasn’t too disappointing.

Another story sale

I’m happy to announce my story “Copy Machine” will be appearing at Flash Fiction Online.

It’s a little strange to say, but I *really* like this story. I mean, I like all of my stories, but every once in awhile I write one that I’m particularly pleased with, and this is one of them.

April was a *crazy* month in terms of writing. I had 3 acceptances, not to mention the play performance. Keep in mind that 3 acceptances is the most I’ve ever had in an entire year, and now here are 3 in one month. Add that to my upcoming reading, and I’m almost starting to feel like a real author!

All right May, the bar is set high; let’s see if you can top it.

GI virus: the gift that keeps on giving

Oh, this poor boy, Ollie. What a week he had last week. He had some kind of GI virus from hell that just went on, and on, and on.

This is the virus that never ends! It just goes on and on my friends!

He first started feeling sick Monday afternoon, but we didn’t think too much of it. However, Sara and I had just fallen asleep Monday night when we were awakened to blood-curdling screams. I mean, absolutely terrifying, up-and-out-of-bed-and-into-the-hall-before-I’m-awake-oh-my-god-my-kid’s-dying kind of screaming. My first thought was just that he was having a bad dream, but Sara said later she thought maybe he had fallen out of bed with his leg caught in the side and broken it. It was that kind of screaming.

It turns out, it wasn’t either of those things; it was just his reaction to waking up covered in vomit. I couldn’t blame him. “I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what I’d do in that situation,” I confessed to Sara later.

It was a rough, rough night. Aside from one 3 hour stretch, he was up about once every 45 minutes. Considering we had to strip the bed and clean him up most of those times, we’d usually just be falling back asleep when he’d need us again. Despite the fact that we managed to come up with 4 mattress pads, we ended up starting laundry at about 2 a.m., when we realized we weren’t going to make it through the night.

Tuesday he was sick all day, not even able to keep water down. A sip of tea only lasted about 90 seconds in there before being violently rejected. Needless to say, Tuesday night didn’t go well either. Wednesday he felt sick, but he slept soundly through the night, which was much appreciated by everybody. By Thursday he was eating some regular food and we thought we were finally out of the woods, until we hit nighttime. Another really bad night, with multiple bed changes.

Friday was okay again, and Friday night was fine, so once again we thought we were through the woods. Maybe Thursday night was just a little hiccup? Nope, here comes Saturday night, and he was back to his old tricks again. By that point, he was nearing in on a full week of being violently ill.

We have done a *lot* of laundry in the past week.

The good news is, nobody else caught it, which seems like a minor miracle. I’m a little confused why it seemed to come and go, only showing up every other night. The thing is, it’s so hard to know what’s going on with him. It’s that old, easy-going attitude again. He never tells you when he feels sick, and he generally maintains his good mood. So it’s entirely possible he felt absolutely awful the whole time, but just didn’t show it. That would be very much like him.

I don’t think he even really understood what was going on. He would feel sick to his stomach and then one second after it passed it was like he thought it was over for good, and he’d never feel like that again. Rinse and repeat, every 30 seconds or so.

This was particularly true when it came to eating. I think he might have recovered faster if he could have just gone easy on his stomach, but he wouldn’t. He just couldn’t help himself. As the week wore on he got hungrier and hungrier, and he didn’t appreciate us preventing him from eating whatever he wanted. He would get physically violent at the mere suggestion that he take it easy and sip some water, or restrict himself to only 3 pancakes. Even while he was gagging when someone even talked about food, he had to list all the things he was demanding we give him to eat.

By Sunday he hardly had the energy to stand, and would just sort of lay on the floor in various rooms. I felt pretty bad for the poor boy. I can only imagine how being that sick for that long would affect me, and I’m an adult who can understand what’s going on.

A week is a long time to be sick. I’m so glad he’s finally feeling better and we can get back to a more normal routine (and sleep schedule!)

Quote Monday shouldn’t listen to the children

Our first baconfest quote of 2014!

Oliver: “I think next time we should get some more bacon.”

In case you’re wondering, that was before he threw up.

Sara: “Sometimes when Florence and the Machine is on, I have to wait until the kids start clapping so I can get the rhythm.”

Me: “I don’t understand why that hat looks so good on you, and looks so dumb on me.”
Sara: “It’s not the hat. It’s everything else around the hat.”

In other words, almost 2 years later and I’m *still* trying to figure out what kind of hat I should wear!