Month: November 2010

The City of Chicago is Training Cyborg Coyotes

/ Shane / Leave a comment

Here from the Chicago Coyote Update Desk, we have new news: there is a reason Chicago is being overrun with coyotes…the city is doing it on purpose.

That picture is taken from a surreal video of this coyote running around downtown. Remember when I said coyotes were taking over Chicago, and you should send help?

So the city is training coyotes to keep down the rat and rodent population. They’re also outfitting them with GPS units, so they can track them as they move around. What’s next Chicago? Coyotes with fricken lasers on their heads? Coyotes collecting a pension? A coyote mayor??

Well I, for one, welcome our new coyote overlords.

Link via Sara.

ShaneHalbach.com Launched!

/ Shane / 8 Comments

Big news! I finally bit the bullet and moved over to a new domain, shanehalbach.com!

Since I haven’t had a new look for about 2 years, and really haven’t changed my color scheme since 2004, I decided to go for something totally different. I may be tweaking things for a day or two until everything gets resolved, but I think it is more or less set at the moment. I’m really enjoying the change of pace!

If I did everything correctly, you should not even need to update your feeds. The old url (erith1.wordpress.com) should now redirect here.

So enjoy everyone! Let me know what you think in the comments.

-The Management

Zombie Apocalypse – Dead on Arrival

/ Shane / Leave a comment

There aren’t a lot of bigger zombie apocalypse supporters than me. So, when I see an article entitled 7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly), I get ready to scoff. However, I read the entire article, and I have to say that they make some pretty good arguments! Unfortunately, I have to admit that they have a point. The 7 reasons are as follows:

7. They Have Too Many Natural Predators
6. They Can’t Take the Heat
5. They Can’t Handle the Cold
4. Biting is a Terrible Way to Spread a Disease
3. They Can’t Heal from Day to Day Damage
2. The Landscape is Full of Zombie-Proof Barriers
1. Weapons and the People Who Use Them

You really have to go read the article, because looking at that list isn’t very convincing. But basically the gist of it is that zombie movies downplay certain key factors, and up-play other key factors, to make a convincing movie. In reality, all those little details they are fudging would mount up to a significant, zombie-stopping force. For example, people are more organized and better at killing things than you might imagine (that’s how we got to the top of the food chain to begin with), hot corpses fill with gas until they explode, maggots and bacteria are pretty efficient at dismantling dead meat, there’s no way every bite could lead to infection, etc., etc., etc.

Go take a look at the list and tell me you’re not convinced.

Looking at that list brought me to another list on the same site, 5 Popular Zombie Survival Tactics (That Will Get You Killed).

5. Raiding the Gun Store
4. Get Out of Town
3. Fortify Your Base
2. Conserve Ammo: Use Melee Weapons When Possible
1. Always Aim for the Head

Basically these kind of come down to, “Hey, you’re not the only person who thought of that, idiot.” They’re right to point out that pretty much everybody has the same plan. The details might be different, but the general outline is the same. And I don’t know how many gun stores you have in your neighborhood, but chances are they’re going to get a little crowded. Not to mention that most of us aren’t the superheroes we think we are, where every shot is a head shot, dancing through scores of bodies without getting a drop of blood on us. In other words, real life isn’t a video game.

Who knew cracked.com would be the sanest place to get zombie advice??

Eczema follow-up

/ Shane / 6 Comments

So far, no good.

Oliver’s eczema is worse if anything. We’ve been going through all the clothes, washing them without detergent, Vaselining him morning and night, changing our sheets twice as frequently, trying not to touch him with clothes that may have touched detergent, etc. It certainly doesn’t seem to be helping. I even switched shampoos.

He has good days and bad days. Some days he looks better and I think, “Maybe what we’re doing is working!” and then the next day he looks worse than ever.

The worst part of all is that he has now discovered scratching. Before, I could always pretend that he wasn’t really bothered by the eczema, even though it looked terrible. Now, however, he tries to scratch his chest and face whenever you give him an opportunity. At this point it takes two people to change his clothes; one to hold his hands back, and the other to dress him. We have to put him in a double shirt and put socks on his hands to prevent him from scratching in the night.

It makes me so sad to see him desperately trying to scratch. It wasn’t so long ago that I myself had to deal with insane, full-body itching, and I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. I certainly wouldn’t wish it on my precious baby. And I certainly can’t pretend that he’s not bothered by it anymore.

I feel very helpless, and that’s not a great feeling when it comes to watching your kid be miserable.

Quote Monday tells the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

/ Shane / 1 Comment

Evie: “My hands are sticky.”
Me: “Why?”
Evie: “I’m not going to tell you, you know why? Because I ate a [dried] cherry [after she was explicitly told not to]”
::Me, pondering how to answer::
Evie: “Don’t worry, nobody saw me.”

Evie: “Grandma, can I have that stamper?”
Grandma S: “Here you go.”
Evie: “Thank you.” ::to herself:: “She’s a really nice Grandma, even if I don’t love her.” – She later told me she was just kidding, and she does love Grandma. But it was quite surprising at the time!

Grandma S: “Does his shirt say, ‘My Aunt Sucks’?”

Evie, assembling random letters: “This is a word that they use a lot in France.”
Me: “Oh yeah? What does it mean?”
Evie: “Like when you have to ask a question. It means, ‘Can I?'”
Me: “Huh, I’ve never heard that word before.”
Evie: “You probably weren’t in Paris or in French class long enough to hear it.”

There is a fine line between a girl with a good imagination, and a bold faced liar. At least she has confidence I guess?