Oh laptop, how I hate thee! Let me count the ways:

1. The way the “t” fell off your front cover, making you a “Gaeway” laptop
2. The way some of your keys don’t work every now and again, forcing me to hit them a few times to get them to work
3. The way  you somehow ruined not one, but two mice, which no no longer work in any computer
4. The way you were not Windows Vista compatible when I bought you, even though you came pre-installed with Vista
5. The way you always used to get blue screens (though, to be fair, this seems to be fixed now, after a year or so)
6. The way you occasionally randomly shut down for no reason when you are left alone
7. The way you take 48+ hours for virus scan
8. The way you are unable to do anything while virus scanning
9. The way you take ten minutes to start up or shut down
10. The way I had to re-flash your bios that one time, just to make you work like a regular computer (see #5)
11. The way your tiny hard drive is 98% full
12. The way you somehow destroyed your own power cord

Between #3 and #12, I’m kind of worried the poor thing has Lupus. In regards to #6, and maybe the whole list in general, I think that the little devil just wants attention. Hey laptop! That’s not the kind of attention you want, buddy!