There was a conference I was supposed to go to this week that I ended up not going to for various reasons. I wasn’t exactly broken up about it until I found out that they keynote speaker was the Governator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger! Best keynote speaker ever.

So, I was thinking about him and I hopped on over to IMDB to see how many Schwarzenegger movies I have seen in my lifetime. Oh man, so many great movies under that guy’s belt, how could you pick a favorite. But then I saw something that caught my eye – he has a movie listed as “filming”! Isn’t he busy off being a governer or something? So obviously I had to click on the link for The Expendables.

Right off the bat I notice that this movie is directed by none other than Sylvester Stallone! Crap on a stick, you’re telling me Sly Stallone is directing a movie staring himself and Arnold? And I hadn’t heard about it? Then I start looking through the cast…Stallone and Schwarzenegger of course, but hey, Jason Statham, nice! Jet Li? Wait a minute, Stone Cold Steve Austin is in this? Mickey Rourke (and I’m thinking Marv here, I haven’t even seen The Wrestler). This is starting to sound like the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny or something! NO WAY, they’re bringing in Dolph Lundgren?

When talking about the great action stars of all time, Dolph Lundgren gets short shrift. He belongs in the list for Ivan Drago alone (Drago being the big rediculous Russian from Rocky IV, the one that killed Apollo Creed), but lets not discount the original Punisher and Universal Soldier. He was He-Man for christ’s sake! If there is to be a battle royal for the all time action star title, he needs to be involved.

So obviously, it makes not one bit of difference what this movie is about, it is clearly one of the greatest of all time and it’s not even finished yet! Although, I am struck by the fact that there were a few people left off the list. Where is JCVD? You can’t leave out the Muscles from Brussles. What about Chuck Norris? Is Charles Bronson still around? Maybe you could wheel him out in an iron lung or something. The problem is, where do you draw the line? Kurt Russel? Does Harrison Ford make the list for Han Solo / Indiana Jones? What about Clint Eastwood? And does that open it up for cowboys like The Duke (except he’s dead, which opens up even more options)? Bruce Campbell? That chick that dated Flavor Flav?

You tell me, who else is missing?