I was frying up some bacon yesterday and apparently the smell is somehow inherently delicious.  I don’t know how Evie would know the smell of bacon or know that it is something that she wanted!  She was just sobbing and sobbing, “Baaacon!  Baaacon!” and demanding “bacon” on her “plate” in the “big girl chair”.  On one hand it was quite funny on the other hand it was very sad because I too know the want of bacon when you don’t have any.  I was kind of thinking about grabbing the video camera for bacon posterity and then Sara said, “You’re thinking about recording this, aren’t you?”

So, the other day Sara sat me down for a Zombie Intervention.  “Shane” she said, “You know that zombies aren’t really going to attack, right?”  This was a funny thing to say since she had just given me the Zombie Survival Guide for my birthday.  I told her that of course I didn’t really believe that and it was a big joke and I am astounded that after all of this time she couldn’t tell the difference.  She seemed to accept that, so I think it bought me some more time to really get my zombie plans in place.  I mean, I know i might not be zombies per say, it could be velociraptors for example.  Anyway, she said that she was sure that some readers of this blog wouldn’t be able to tell if I were joking or not.  So what do you think, gentle reader? Vote in the comments.

I’m only half way through the Survival Guide, but so far it has been pretty good.  The only downside is that it presents only one type of zombies and says that is the only type.  So if you depend only on this text and it ends up being fast zombies or voodoo zombies or comet zombies, you will be in trouble.  Anyhoo, it has opened my eyes to a couple of interesting points, for example, consider holing up in a school.  They are often on lock down (at least inner city schools) and you will have access to both food from the cafeteria and first aid supplies from the nurses’ office.  So I am now thinking about abandoning my house (as I’ve said, it is indefensible) and moving to one of the schools down the street.  In addition to the benefits of schools, it also has a fenced in back yard with like 12 foot fences which could potentially allow for a secure vegetable garden of some sort.  “You see” Sara said, “This is when I start to think you take this too seriously.”  “I’m doing this for you!” I replied.  Oh well, when the dead start to rise, we’ll see who gets the last laugh…

In other me news, I have been quite the handy man about the house lately.  I’ve put up coat hangers and shelves including wall anchors, replaced 3 very high light bulbs, replaced a light switch and even repaired our broken, all-set-for-the-trash coat rack with some cement.  I even had to make two different trips to the hardware store.  Carpenter, electrician, mason…you want it, I got it.  In fact, the garbage disposal was clogged and I was a little disappointed that the trick I read about on the Internet cleared it out, because I was all set to take apart the pipe and add plumber to my resume.  Oh well, all’s well that ends well.