ShaneHalbach.com

Now that is one sweet shirt

I could tell you about how awesome this shirt is, but I think the image speaks for itself:

The howling wolves? The moon? If this isn’t one of the sweetest shirts on the planet, I don’t know what is. But don’t take my word for it, make sure you go read the comments. It is well worth the effort, believe me. I will give you a taste, to wet your whistle:

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that’s when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to ‘howl at the moon’ from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn’t have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn’t settle for the first thing that comes to him. 

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt. 

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women 
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the ‘guns’), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

You also might take a look at the “related items”, for example, I think the zubaz are a nice touch and would really set off the look.

For more of the same, you can check out the listing for Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz. This is teaching me a lot about the whole counter-culture of funny Amazon reviews…

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3 responses

  1. crupley

    Oh my lord. The post by “Edgar” on the Tuscan Milk blew my mind. It kind of made me want to quit my job and start writing reviews full-time.

    May 26, 2009 at 10:51 am

  2. Pingback: Blogging Timeline « Is this thing on?

  3. On The Office this week, the one where Pam and Jim get married, Dwight was totally wearing the 3 wolf shirt!!!!!!

    October 11, 2009 at 9:57 pm

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